


For Those Left Behind

by GleeCastOST



Series: Nowhere to Hide - The Series [3]
Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GleeCastOST/pseuds/GleeCastOST
Summary: Ava and her sisters have managed to survive several battles and an absolute boatload of adversity. When an old friend of the OCS returns, how will they cope? (I'm aware this isn't a good summary, but I'm trying to avoid spoilers. If you've read the first two parts - you'll know what's up)
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Series: Nowhere to Hide - The Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877140
Comments: 175
Kudos: 418





	1. The Second Date

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello welcome to my crib

“Second date. Are you nervous?” Ava asked Beatrice across the table. 

“We’ve fought literal demons and almost died. Do you think I would be nervous about a date…? I am, actually.”

“Me too.” Ava laughed. “You wouldn’t think it, but it’s intimidating. And it’s somehow too  _ normal. _ ”

“I know what you mean.” Beatrice answered, looking out across the ocean.

Neither Beatrice or Ava were the same women that they were on their first date. In the weeks between them, so much had changed. It was impossible to count the scars that they had accumulated, the most painful of which seemed to be those that were invisible. Nightmares seemed to plague the both of them now, although it was possible they would fade with time. Not all of the changes were heartbreaking, though. Beatrice had become more confident, in her abilities and in who she was. Despite everything, she was happier - happier than she had ever been. Ava, conversely, had become more studious, she applied herself to training and studying with a ferocious intensity. The jokes were still there, of course, but she was quickly becoming a well-rounded warrior nun. 

“Tell me a story.” Ava demanded, as they sipped their drinks, watching the sun dip below the horizon. 

“A story?” Beatrice raised her eyebrows. 

“Yes.”

“About what?” Beatrice asked, confused.

“About whatever you want.” Ava answered, simply.

“Okay.” Beatrice thought carefully for several moments before answering. “Do you know the gross, orange powder that comes in the boxes of mac and cheese?” 

“I’ve never had it, but yes.” Now it was Ava’s turn to be caught off guard. 

“Once, at breakfast, Shannon mixed it into water, and replaced all of the orange juice. A lot of people fell for it, including me.” Beatrice laughed. “It was disgusting.”

“Oh my  _ God. _ ” Ava whispered, an evil smile creeping across her face. “That’s  _ genius. _ ”

“Don’t get any ideas. After the initial grossness wore off, it was pretty funny. Although Mother Superion was  _ not happy. _ ”

“Mother Superion drank it too?!” Ava was on the edge of her seat.

“She did, but she wasn’t as angry as you might expect. She always had a soft spot for Shannon.” Beatrice smiled, remembering the day fondly. 

“Can’t relate.” Ava muttered, thinking of how much Mother Superion seemed to hate her when she first arrived.

“She likes you a lot more now, Ava. I promise.” Beatrice reassured her.

“Maybe… What other pranks did Shannon play?” Ava asked, wanting to change the subject.

Beatrice thought for a moment. “She replaced all the bullets at the firing range with blanks… Blanks that were full of confetti. It was a ridiculous morning. It seemed like she was always phasing through walls to scare people, Mary most of all. Everyone knew that they liked each other, it was obvious.”

“Sounds familiar.” Ava said with a smile. Beatrice only blushed. “I wish I had met Shannon. I wonder if we would have gotten along.”

“I think so.” Beatrice mused, quietly, receptive to the sudden change in Ava’s voice. 

“May I ask you a question now?” Beatrice asked, after several seconds of silence. 

“You may.” Ava’s smile returned and she grabbed one of Beatrice’s hands across the table, holding it gently. 

“Our lives have calmed down, marginally. What do you want to do? What do you want to see?” Beatrice wondered, her tone tentative.

“I…” Ava paused. “I want to travel. Not just visit beautiful places to fight demons, but to actually  _ experience  _ them. With you, preferably.” Beatrice blushed as Ava continued to speak. “I want to eat food, dance, party, run, fight… I just want to  _ live. _ ” Ava spoke with such passion that it was disarming. Beatrice found herself at a loss for words, staring into Ava’s eyes, her fiery expression. 

_ I’ll show you the world, Ava. Just you wait.  _

Ava flinched, despite her best efforts, as Adriel’s voice rang through her head. Quickly, she shut it out and shook off the awful sensation.

“Ava, are you okay?” Beatrice’s face suddenly filled with concern.

“Yes, sorry.” Ava answered, though she was unable to meet Beatrice’s eyes.

Before Beatrice could question her any further, they were interrupted by the arrival of their dinner. Ava attacked her food with a peculiar intensity, and unfortunately, table manners had not yet made their way into her training schedule. With a chuckle, Beatrice showed her how to properly use a fork and knife - the lesson drawing stares from several of the other patrons. Ava’s sudden outburst was filed away, for now, but not forgotten.

After dinner, Ava and Beatrice walked along the moonlit beach, shoes in hand as their bare feet splashed in the shallow water. “Beatrice? Do you think you could teach me how to swim?” 

“Of course.” Beatrice answered. It was a beautiful night and Ava took her breath away… But something felt wrong. It felt as though there was a rift between them. She almost wondered if she was imagining it, letting trauma misshape her perception. 

Ava stopped, suddenly, with a gasp. “What is it?” Beatrice asked in a panic. “Demons?”

“No, no.” Ava grinned. “Can we get ice cream?”

“Ava, you scared me.” Beatrice wondered if this overreaction was further proof that she was experiencing everything with a disturbing bias.

“I’m sorry.” Ava looked hurt. “It’s just… There is an ice cream shop, over there.” She pointed towards it. “I haven’t been in a  _ long  _ time.”

Beatrice sighed, embarrassed and angry at herself. She forced herself to smile. Maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with Ava, maybe there was something wrong with her. 

“We can get ice cream. I’m sorry, it’s just been… Hard, lately.” Beatrice admitted, quietly. 

“I know. I understand.” Ava hugged Beatrice as she spoke. Quickly, Beatrice placed her hands over the halo, to hide the glow from any passerby. 

“Careful, someone is going to see the halo.” Beatrice warned.

“I can’t help it!” Ava laughed as they began walking again. “It just really likes you.”

“What flavour of ice cream are you going to order?” Beatrice returned Ava’s laugh.

“Hmmm….” 

Beatrice should have known this would happen. She turned her back for a moment, only to see Ava walk out of the shop with the  _ tallest stack of ice cream scoops  _ she had ever seen. It was like a bizarre clown show, the way the stack swayed in the air, as Ava tried to balance it. 

“What do you think?” Ava asked, without taking her eyes off of the monstrosity. “I didn’t know what flavour I wanted… So I ordered all of them.” 

“You truly are  _ God’s champion _ …” Beatrice muttered, as she ducked back into the shop to retrieve several bowls and a pile of napkins. It was inevitable that this would end in a sticky, sugary mess. 


	2. Life is a Highway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava gets a driving lesson, some conversations occur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TEA

“Alright Ava, press the clutch to the floor and turn the key.” Mary instructed. Ava did as she was told and the car rumbled to life. 

“I did it!” Ava cried, having barely done anything. 

“Sure. Okay, now press the brake and make sure that the shifter is in first gear.” Ava looked down as Mary spoke, to check. “Slowly take your foot off the clutch and  _ gently  _ press the gas.”

The car slowly moved across the dirt lot. Ava was grinning from ear to ear. 

“I’m doing it! Mary, I’m doing it!” Ava cried, as she slowly drove in circles.

“You have a lot of room, try going a little bit faster. Then, change into second gear, okay? Foot off the gas, press the clutch, then shift.” Mary explained, feeling slightly less terrified than she had before. 

“Okay…” Ava did as Mary said, carefully. 

“You’re doing well.” Mary told her, although she would come to regret her words a moment later. 

“I’m going to do a donut.” Ava whispered, her face determined, and her hands tight on the wheel. 

“No, you are absolutely not.” Mary replied.

“Hold onto something!” Ava cried as she shifted in third gear, dust flying into the air behind the car. 

“Ava I swear to  _ fucking God,  _ I will  _ kill  _ you!” Mary yelled, bracing herself into the passenger seat. 

To Ava’s credit, she completed a relatively circular donut, before parking the car. Mary’s sweaty face looked positively murderous. 

“That was fun!” Ava told her, cheerfully. “We should do that again some time.” She added, getting out of the car to switch sides with Mary. 

“You’ll be lucky if there is a next time.” Mary scowled as she got back into the driver’s seat, even though she was half joking.  _ Half. _

Beatrice was sitting with Camila at the library table by the window. Distractedly, Beatrice played with the teabag in her mug, dunking it over and over again, until it was fully steeped. 

“Beatrice?” Camila asked, holding a mug of her own. 

“What? Sorry. I was thinking about something.” She answered, her brain falling back to reality. 

“That much as obvious. Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I feel like I’m… A little bit messed up after everything that’s happened.” Beatrice admitted. It felt good to finally say it. 

“I would be concerned if you weren’t.” Camila replied, once again demonstrating her wisdom.

“I don’t have any right to be. Compared to what Ava has gone through, what Lilith has gone through… What I’ve been through is nothing.”

“Quantifying suffering is a dangerous business, Bea. You know that. All of us,  _ all of us,  _ have been through a lot. You have  _ every  _ right to feel it.”

“Maybe you’re right…” Beatrice whispered, looking down at her tea and avoided Camila’s eyes. 

“Bea. You know I’m right. You’ve watched the  _ love of your life  _ almost die how many times now?  _ Five? _ ” Beatrice didn’t reply, so Camila kept talking. “We’ve been on the run, we’ve fought demons, we’ve all killed people - yet you think you don’t deserve to feel anything?” 

“Okay, okay.” Beatrice answered, finally, to stop Camila from continuing her tirade. “Are you okay?” She asked, knowing that Camila struggled with the death of innocents as much as Ava did, if not more. 

“I’m okay. Sort of. I wasn’t, at first, but Lilith really helped me through a lot.” Camila told Beatrice, quietly. 

“Lilith?” Beatrice questioned, although she had noticed the two of them spending more time together.

“Yes. I don’t know, we haven’t always been close but we have been spending more time together lately. She likes coming to see all of my plants.” Camila smiled.

“Really?” Beatrice couldn’t imagine Lilith spending time looking at Camila’s massive plant collection. 

“I know. I was surprised too. She’s changed a lot, for better and worse.” 

“It seems to be a theme lately.” Beatrice muttered, her mind only halfway into the conversation. 

“That it does.” Camila answered, with the same distracted tone. 

“How did it go?” Lilith asked, as Mary and Ava pulled into the Cat’s Cradle courtyard. 

“Ava, do you want to tell her?” Mary poked Ava forward, hard, forcing her to take a step closer to Lilith. 

“Ummm… Great! It was fantastic! Mary said I was the best driver she’s ever seen. Anyway, gotta go!” Ava darted off, towards the library, before either of them could stop her. 

“How did it  _ actually  _ go?” Lilith asked, for a second time.

“It started fine, then she tried to do a donut.” Mary replied, deadpan, as she watched Ava phase through the stone wall and into the building. 

“Oh.” Lilith was trying to hold back laughter, imagining Mary teaching Ava to drive was a hilarious prospect. 

“The thing is, she actually wasn’t bad! But I can’t  _ tell  _ her that!” Mary sounded exasperated. 

_ Ava. It’s only a matter of time before I’m back. I’m surprised that you are being so cavalier about this.  _

“Get out of my  _ head! _ ” Ava screamed, clutching her head in the hallway. 

“Ava?” Beatrice opened the door to the library and saw Ava crouched into the corner. “Ava?!” Ava stood up, looking at Beatrice like a deer in the headlights, but didn’t speak. Instead, she turned around and ran. 

Ava was able to phase through walls, giving her an advantage over Beatrice, who was now chasing her. Unfortunately, Beatrice knew the building much better, which allowed her to stay a step ahead. She caught the halo bearer quickly. 

“Why are you running away from me?” Beatrice asked, her voice concerned but also slightly angry. 

“I… I…” Ava stuttered, unable to think of a good reason, a good excuse. She felt her face get hot and her eyes filled with tears. 

“Ava, please.” Beatrice took a step closer. 

“I just thought… I just heard… I thought…”

“Take a deep breath.” Beatrice closed the distance between them, pulling Ava into her. Tenderly, she held Ava close, until her shaking stopped and her breaths began to even out. 

“Am I going crazy?” Ava asked, after several moments of silence. 

“I don’t think so.” Beatrice replied. She hated seeing Ava like this and was desperate to help. 

“I feel  _ fucked up. _ ” Ava whispered into Beatrice’s chest. 

“ _ Language.  _ I’m sorry. I wish I could say that I don’t understand, but I do.” 

“Beatrice.” Ava began, pushing herself away so she could look at Beatrice’s face. “I don’t want you to be sad or messed up. I want you to be happy. If I could take away any negative emotion that you feel, and bear it myself, I would. Even if doing so meant that it would be ten times heavier, I don’t care. For you, anything.”

Beatrice was caught off guard by Ava’s words, by Ava’s love for her, by  _ Ava.  _ “It doesn’t work like that.” She replied, wishing that she had something more passionate to say. Something better to say. 

“I know, but…” Ava trailed off and looked at the ground. Beatrice took Ava’s face in her hands and forced her to look up. 

“Ava. When we were in the Vatican and Duretti was holding us hostage and he… He… I thought you were dead. I thought it was over.” Beatrice realised that she was admitting this for the first time. She was doing a lot of admitting today. 

“I’m not though! I’m here.” Ava mumbled, feeling guilty. 

“I know. I know.” Beatrice pulled Ava back into a tight embrace. “I know. The whole drive back, I didn’t talk, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t eat… I just sat next to where you were… Stained with blood, just like my hands…” Beatrice whispered, her sentences fragmented just like her soul. Tears feel from her face and onto the floor. 

“I’m sorry.” Ava gripped her even tighter.

“You don’t have to apologise. You saved the world that day.  _ Again. _ ”

“We.  _ We  _ saved the world.” Ava corrected. 

“I love you.” Beatrice smiled, even as tears continued to fall from her eyes. 

“I love you, too.” 


	3. Confessional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several things are admitted for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to AnnNette who leaves a really nice comment on like every single chapter, what a champion.

Tears splashed onto her desk, leaving translucent circles across the pages of her book. Camila looked over her plants, out the dark window. Despite her best efforts, she felt as though everything was starting to weigh heavily on her soul. Being the cheerful member of their small group was becoming harder - Camila felt the need to hide how she felt, most of the time. If any of her sisters were hiding like she was, Camila would have chastised them for it, yet she couldn’t help it. 

Nighttime was lonely and the dark quiet seemed to creep in. It was easier to push away sadness in the sunlight, when busy with training or research. Camila tried to focus, wiping away her tears and returning to her book. This focus lasted a moment, before heavy sobs racked her body. With her face in her hands, Camila bent over her desk, surrendering to the heavy tide of emotions. 

A knock at the door, then another. No answer. 

“Camila?” Lilith whispered, peeking her head around the slightly ajar door. “I brought your -” She stopped speaking when she saw the state that Camila was in. Lilith was at her side in a moment.

“Hey. I’m here.” Lilith knelt gently next to Camila, laying a hand against her back. Instead of replying, Camila wrapped her arms across Lilith’s shoulders. Instinctively, Lilith felt herself stiffen at the physical contact, but she forced herself to relax. 

“You brought my book back.” Camila whispered, sniffling, after several minutes of crying into Lilith’s neck.

“I did.” 

“Did you like it?” 

“Is this really what you want to be talking about right now?” Lilith asked. Camila pulled away, wiping her eyes. 

“Yes… No. But did you like it?” Camila tried to force a smile but her heart wasn’t in it. 

“It was good.” Lilith set the book on the desk. “What’s wrong?”

“When we were in the Vatican… A few of my bolts hit civilians… They teleported around them…” Camila looked down.

“That’s not your fault.” Lilith stated. 

“It feels like my fault. It’s more than  _ just  _ that though… It’s everything. The last two months have been full of death, or almost death, just constant fear. Constant worry.” Camila’s voice cracked as she spoke, fresh tears coating her cheeks. 

“I know what you mean.” Lilith agreed solemnly. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Camila pushed her tears away with her palm. “I hate this feeling. I hate feeling like this.”

“You don’t owe anyone an apology. What you feel is valid. It’s been… It’s been really hard. You know you can talk to us, though, right? If you knew that we were hiding the way you are… Well, I’m pretty sure that you would have  _ words. _ ” Lilith told her, calmly.

“I know.” Camila laughed. “You’re right.” 

“Come on.” Lilith stood and offered Camila a hand. “Let’s go for a walk. Maybe the fresh air will help. If not, it’s still a beautiful evening.”

Out in one of the gardens, Lilith and Camila walked along slowly. The night air cooled their skin and the gentle breeze carried the scent of the ocean. Tenderly, Camila slid her hand around Lilith’s, for comfort more than anything else. Lilith felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up and her spine tingle - a reaction not dissimilar to a cat falling in water. 

“Sorry!” Camila recoiled, taking a step away from Lilith, although a small smile played across her face. 

“No, it’s okay. I just… Get nervous.” Lilith admitted, avoiding Camila’s gaze. They continued walking in the pale moonlight. A moment later, Camila felt Lilith’s hand in her own. 

“Lilith, you’ve changed.” Camila said with reverence. 

“More than I recognise, sometimes.” 

“It’s because you’ve gone prematurely grey, isn’t it?” Camila laughs, feeling the heaviness of her soul lighten.

“I won’t lie, it’s not what I had planned for myself.” Lilith’s grey hair reflected the moonlight, looking positively ethereal. 

“I think you look nice.” 

“Thank you, Camila.” 

“Can I ask you something?” Camila whispers.

“You already did. But yes, you may.” Lilith grants her permission, curious what the younger girl has to say.

“Why haven’t you been wearing your habit lately? At least, not all of it.” Camila noticed everything that happened at Cat’s Cradle, even if she didn’t comment on it immediately. For the last several weeks, Lilith had worn some of her traditional clothing, yet not all of it, and she was no longer covering her head. 

“I….” Lilith was unsure of how to reply. “I guess you could say I’m having a crisis of faith.”

“Should I say that?” Camila replied, desperate for more information. 

“My life, my family, my everything has been built not only around the Church, but around the OCS. I was supposed to be a  _ halo bearer.  _ Instead, I get dragged to  _ hell  _ and we find out that everything the OCS is built on was a lie. I’ve developed demonic powers and everyday I wonder if I’m even human anymore. I guess, given all of that, I don’t feel very  _ Godly. _ ” Lilith’s words tumbled out quickly, disorganised and emotional. 

Camila didn’t reply right away. Instead, she took in Lilith’s words, turning them over in her mind and trying to imagine what it must have been like to experience.

“I’m sorry, Lilith.” Camila mumbled, after a few moments had passed.

“It’s not your fault. I think maybe this happened for a reason sometimes… It’s undeniable that my new abilities have helped us succeed… Helped us stay alive.” Lilith felt her cheeks burn as she spoke. She hadn’t talked to anyone about this. 

“If it weren’t for you, the world would be over. Or at least, a lot worse off.” 

“Perhaps.” Lilith sighed. “I am determined to stay on the path of light, this won’t knock me from that. At the same time, though, it feels like an affront to  _ God  _ to act like I’m the nun that I used to be.”

“I have faith that you’ll figure it out, in time.” Camila replied. 

In the morning, the next day, Ava trained with Beatrice. It was still early when they began warming up, rays of sun only barely touching the courtyard. While they both maintained an air of seriousness, each of them stole furtive glances at the other as they stretched. 

“What are you teaching me today?” Ava asked as she halfheartedly stretched, but wholeheartedly admired Beatrice’s beautiful features. 

“Advanced combat techniques.” Beatrice answered, formally, trying to ignore Ava’s gaze. It was too distracting if she didn’t. 

“I thought I was fighting well.” Ava looked down, feeling as though she had failed somehow. 

“You have been. This is the next step, refinement in your form.” Beatrice assured her, gently. 

“Oh. Okay.” Ava stood up. “I’m ready to learn.” Ava bowed dramatically.

“You don’t need to…” Beatrice realised Ava was joking. “First we are just going to go through your technique and make some changes. Then,  _ and only then,  _ will you and I spar.”

On Beatrice’s command, Ava demonstrated her basic techniques. Various punches, kicks, blocks, and the like. Ava sweat in the sun as Beatrice circled around her, making small corrections in her foot placement or shoulder rotation. 

“When you’re preparing to throw a punch, don’t wind it up. Don’t pull it back and then punch. You can generate more than enough power from the position you’re in. When you wind up, it takes more time and you are alerting your opponent to your next move.” Beatrice told her. Ava corrected her movements, earning praise from Beatrice. 

For an hour, Beatrice made Ava go through simple movements. It was undeniable that Ava had become a much better fighter, yet there were a lot of issues to be cleaned up. 

“Alright. Get some water.” Beatrice finally finished her assessment. “We’re not doing this as punishment, Ava.”

“I didn’t think we were.” Ava replied, with water dripping down both sides of her mouth. 

“Okay… Just making sure.” Beatrice whispered. 

“There’s something you want to say. Say it.” Ava commanded. She and Beatrice had spent a lot of time together, she knew that there was something left unsaid.

“It’s not enough to have the halo. You need to be skilled as well. I… I want you to be able to fight, even if the halo is drained. I just… I want to keep you safe.” Beatrice stuttered, despite her best efforts not to. 

“I understand.” Ava whispered. Her face was drawn and pensive. Beatrice was thrown off guard by Ava’s reply. She had expected a joke, or something more. Suddenly, she worried if she had said something wrong. 

“Ava…” Beatrice began but Ava held up a hand to stop her.

“I get where you are coming from.” Her voice sounded guilty. “Let’s begin.”

They spent the rest of the morning sparring. Ava didn’t win a single round. To her credit, though, she now lasted several minutes against Beatrice, instead of several seconds. Had she been fighting anyone else, Ava would have likely been victorious. Despite the thrill and adrenaline, neither woman smiled as they sparred. 

“You’ve already gotten so much better.” Beatrice told her as they took a break.

“Thank you.” Ava’s answer was short, terse. 

“Why are you angry with me, Ava?” Beatrice asked. The tension in the air, between them, was obvious. She needed to know. She needed to understand.

“I’m not angry at you.” Ava felt ashamed. “I hate that you worry about me.”

“Oh…” Beatrice wasn’t sure how to respond. 

“I  _ hate  _ knowing the pain I’ve caused you. It makes me sick to think about.”

“I know it wasn’t on purpose. I just… I care about you. We’ve been in some impossible situations, it’s inevitable that we worry about one another.” Beatrice reasoned, trying to appeal to Ava with a logical assessment of the situation. 

“I know but… It makes me feel guilty. Like a burden.” Ava whispered.

“You’re not a burden.”

“But…”

“No. Ava, you’re not. You never will be. If I have to tell you every day, I will.” Beatrice sighed quietly. “But for now, let’s go get lunch.” 

“ _ Lunch?! _ ” Ava perked up at the mention of food and Beatrice couldn’t help but laugh. 


	4. Matthew 24:6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two separate fights, between loved ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't hate me :)

As stipulated by Mother Superion, after their battle with Duretti, Ava was required to broaden her skillset. Obviously, this included fighting, but also other useful skills that would make her a better warrior nun, such as driving. In addition to training, Mother Superion tasked Lilith with teaching Ava about the history of those that came before her. 

“Ava, please focus. Camila put a lot of work into building this archive.” Lilith scolded, as they looked over dozens of printed documents that were laid out across the library table. 

“I’m sorry! I’m not trying to be disrespectful, really. It’s just overwhelming.” Ava replied.

“Overwhelming? I thought you were going to say boring.” Lilith was surprised, both at Ava’s answer and her candor. 

“A lot of the reading here  _ is  _ boring. Especially the religious texts. But learning about the warrior nuns of the past? That’s not boring.” 

“Why is it overwhelming?” Lilith asked, realising that she had been having a lot more personal conversations that she was used to. 

“It’s a lot of pressure.”

“You feel unworthy?” Lilith guessed.

“Exactly. Each of these women was strong, determined, and powerful. They had been training for years, they were good fighters. They were good  _ people.  _ I’m just some nobody who’s dead body happened to be in the right place at the right time.” Ava explained.

“All of those qualities that you just listed describe yourself, Ava.” 

Ava didn’t reply. Instead, she lifted one of the accounts from the table and began reading. Lilith gave her a frustrated look.

“Listen to me.” Lilith requested, trying to regain Ava’s attention. 

“Okay…” Ava whispered.

“You are a good warrior nun. I promise you. Training and vows don’t make the warrior nun, it’s what’s in your heart. It’s what you fight for. It’s the team that you have behind you.” Lilith said, drawing from her years of reading about the halo. 

“I have a really good team.” Ava mumbled, the tips of her ears going red. 

“You do.” 

“And I’m getting better at using the halo.” 

“You are.”

“I see what you’re doing here.” Ava narrowed her eyes at Lilith, jokingly, as she smiled. 

“You’re a real genius.” Lilith retorted, matching Ava’s smile.

“I know. It’s hard to be modest about it sometimes.” Ava laughed.

“Can we start going through these now?” Lilith gestured to the mound of documents. 

“I suppose.” Ava stretched out her words for emphasis. 

Several hours passed as they sat in the library. Sometimes they both read in silence, but usually Lilith quietly explained things to Ava. Events, religious references, and different halo bearer abilities were common topics of their discussions. Time got away from them, as they were lost in the past, each archival entry providing a colourful escape from reality. Streaming sunlight from the windows moved across the stone floor, the only indication of time passing. 

“Lilith, I need a favour.” Ava said, suddenly.

“What is it?” Lilith was anxious in her reply. 

“Can you teleport me back? To...” Ava didn’t finish her sentence, but she was confident that Lilith would understand.

“Absolutely not.”

“Please! I promise I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” 

“Why is it important?” Lilith set down the file she had been reading, giving Ava a look that could strip paint. 

“I…” Ava stopped talking. For whatever reason, she wasn’t ready to reveal what she may,  _ or may not _ , have been hearing in her head. 

“Well?” Lilith asked, impatiently angry.

“I…” Ava began again, still unable to explain herself. “I’m sorry. Nevermind.” Ava whispered, her voice hoarse. Lilith didn’t reply. Instead, she gave Ava an icy glare. They both continued to work, although the feeling of companionship had gone from the room. Privately, Lilith was wondering what had gotten into Ava, and should she be worried or mad. 

_ It’s too early to tell anyone, Ava. For now, I’ll be your little secret.  _

“Shut up! Just shut the  _ fuck  _ up!” Ava yelled and slammed the table, before freezing, realising that she was speaking out loud. Looking down, she noticed that the halo had activated and she’d punched two fist shapes out of the wooden table.

“Ava? I wasn’t saying anything.” Lilith stated, her voice neutral. Ava didn’t answer, instead she opted to phase through the floor. 

Moments later, Beatrice and Camila busted through the door, weapons drawn. “What was that?” Camila shouted, brandishing a pistol. 

“Nothing… It was Ava. Put your weapons down.” Lilith responded calmly. Camila holstered her gun and Beatrice slid her knife back into her belt. 

“What happened here?” Beatrice asked as she walked closer to the table. Two sizable chunks of the table now laid on the floor, reduced to wood chips. Papers were strewn across the room. 

“Ava and I got in a small argument… And…” Lilith trailed off, confused at what had set the halo bearer off. 

“And?” Camila repeated. 

“I’m not sure. We were done talking and she freaked out. She told me to shut up, twice, but I wasn’t even saying anything. When I told her that, she just stared at me, then ran.” Lilith explained, her voice faraway, as though she were trying to reason through it as she spoke. 

“Are you okay?” Camila put a hand on Lilith’s shoulder as she asked. To Beatrice, this incident sounded eerily similar to her interaction with Ava the day prior. 

“I’m fine.” Lilith answered, quickly. She began picking up and sorting through the scattered papers. Camila began helping her. 

“I’m going to go look for Ava.” Beatrice announced, feeling weirdly like a third wheel. She quickly exited the library, heading for Ava’s room. 

Tucked on the far side of the bed, between the wall and the window, Ava was curled into a ball on the floor. Beatrice could hear her whispering, although she couldn’t distinguish the specific words. 

“Ava?” Beatrice crept closer.

“Beatrice?” Ava replied, broken from her whispers for the moment. 

“What happened in the library?” 

“Nothing.” Ava obviously didn’t want to answer the question. 

“You’re whispering to yourself in the corner because  _ nothing  _ happened? You’ve been acting weird for days, what’s going on?” Beatrice could feel herself growing more concerned and frustrated. 

“I’m scared.” Ava sighed. “I’m scared Adriel is coming back.” Ava’s words seemed to echo for a moment, heavy. 

“I don’t think that’s possible.” Beatrice began, fearing that Ava was having trouble coping with all that she had been through. 

“I can hear him... I can feel him... Like before.” Ava choked out her words, struggling to breathe. 

“Ava…” Beatrice stood, abruptly. If Ava had expected gentle comfort in that moment, she definitely didn’t receive it. 

“How could you keep this to yourself? Adriel’s return threatens everyone in the  _ world _ ? Do you grasp that? You feel guilty over the deaths of individuals, yet you keep this a secret?” Beatrice was screaming, she couldn’t help herself. “You couldn’t even tell  _ me _ ?” Her voice cracked on the last word. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Ava gasped, inaudibly. She seemed to have shrunken into herself since Beatrice began screaming. 

“This is so  _ irresponsible! _ We could have had a head start on him, an advantage that we’ve now lost, thanks to your selfishness!” Beatrice knew that she was being unfair, too mean. She was personally hurt, she felt betrayed that Ava would keep something like this from her. Beyond that, the OCS side of her was also angry. It was complicated, however, because most of that anger stemmed from the suffering that Adriel had caused Ava, specifically. 

Oftentimes, being mad at a loved one is a double edged sword. It isn’t the same kind of angry that you would feel if someone else hurt you. It’s more complicated than that, more nuanced. Seeing the impact your words have on your partner, especially in rage, can be devastating. Even if you have the  _ right  _ to be angry, you’re still hurting someone you care about. If you’re angry at a loved one for doing something that will hurt them, worst of all, it becomes even more twisted.

Being able to analytically think about her anger didn’t help Beatrice move past it, though. It didn’t help her calm down, nor did it stop her from feeling guilty. Her words hadn’t been wrong, either. Objectively, she was in the right. She loved Ava dearly and knowing that she was right didn’t make anything easier. Seeing the hurt in Ava’s eyes as she yelled, unable to stop, was heartbreaking enough. Add in the subject of their argument and it became a more than complicated situation. 

Beatrice wiped a tear from her eye as she sat on the edge of Ava’s bed. Ava had phased out of the room several minutes ago and Beatrice didn’t go after her. Maybe she should have. Instead, she headed back to the library, to tell her sisters what had transpired. When she opened the door, she found not only Camila and Lilith, but Mary had joined them too. 

“We have a situation.” Beatrice stated, hoping her voice sounded more even than her heart felt. 

“It sure seems like it. Do you want to fill us in?” Mary asked, her face serious. 

“Adriel’s back.” As Beatrice spoke, her sisters’ faces fell further. It was disheartening. 

“Now it makes sense.” Lilith whispered, earning herself a confused look from everyone. 

“Ava asked me to take her back to  _ Hell.  _ She wouldn’t tell me why. Now we know.” Lilith explained. 

“She wanted to see if he was still there. In the ice.” Camila concluded. 

“Where is Ava?” Mary wondered, looking at Beatrice. 

“I… I was angry when she told me. Angry that she had kept it from me. From us.” Beatrice admitted, feeling guilty, even in her justification. 

“I don’t blame you. I think we’re all angry.” Lilith told Beatrice.

“I am frustrated. But at the same time, I understand. I think. She didn’t know  _ for sure _ , maybe she thought it was just… I don’t know. I’m not trying to defend what Ava did, but I understand, at least.” Camila added, hating to see fighting within their ranks. 

“I understand too, but I’m plenty angry.” Mary stated. They all looked to Beatrice for a reaction. 

“I’m… I feel conflicted about this. I was harsh with her, maybe deservedly so. But the look in her eyes… I’ve never yelled at anyone like that.” Beatrice looked down.

Pink light filtered through the library’s windows, as the sun set in the distance. It was a beautiful view, even with no one there to admire it. Nature has a way of moving along, without human interaction. 

It was going to be a long night.


	5. Catharsis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are eased and wounds begin to heal. Unless....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to be the kewpie mayonnaise baby for halloween

Ava paced the grounds of Cat’s Cradle, violently alternating between equally destructive moods. Beatrice’s anger was justified, yet Ava still felt crushed every time she remembered. Which, unsurprisingly, was near constantly. She also wondered about Adriel as she walked, was this all a trick? Or was he really back? Maybe it was neither and she was just going crazy.  _ Maybe I’ve been crazy the whole time. I’ve spent the last few months fighting demons with a group of nuns.  _ A humourless chuckle escaped her lips as she took in the absurdity of the situation. 

Eventually, Ava found her way to Beatrice’s door. She held up her hand to knock, then paused, unsure if she should continue. From within, she heard a voice.

“Ava, you can come in.” 

“How did you know I was here?” Ava asked as she crossed the threshold, unwilling to dive directly into conflict.

“You walk like a horse.” Beatrice addressed her cooly from the desk.

Beatrice’s room looked as refined as she was. A small bookshelf was neatly stacked with various tomes, all of which looked boring to Ava. The workspace at her desk was minimal, with a couple notebooks and pens, nothing more. A few pictures of Beatrice and her sisters were tacked about the desk - reminders of simpler times. A single plant sat on one corner of the windowsill, an obvious gift from Camila.

“I’m sorry.” Ava took a step backwards, towards the door. “About before, not the horse walking thing.” 

“Ava…” Beatrice began, feeling conflicted. Half of her wanted to continue chastising Ava for her indiscretion. Whereas the other half simply wanted to take the halo bearer in her arms and assure her that everything would be alright. 

“I’m sorry!” Ava repeated. “I was selfish. But… I didn’t know  _ for sure.  _ Like maybe it is a trick, or something else, or… Or… Or maybe I’m just going  _ fucking  _ crazy.” She spoke too fast, her words oddly stilted. 

“Ava.” Beatrice tried again. “More than anything, I’m frustrated because you didn’t tell me  _ at all.  _ Regardless if Adriel has returned or hasn’t, I thought our relationship meant more to you. I thought  _ I  _ meant more to you. All of the conversations we’ve had, about trust, about openness… Yet you keep this from me.” Beatrice spoke more evenly than Ava, although the emotion was evident in her voice. 

“I didn’t want you to worry… I wanted everything to be happy… Normal.” Ava admitted, feeling guilty. 

“There is no  _ normal. _ We can pretend there is, sometimes, but there isn’t.” Beatrice stated, trying to avoid looking at the tears in Ava’s eyes. 

“I know. At least, I know that now.”

Beatrice crossed the room, bringing herself within an arm’s length of Ava. “I understand why you kept this from us. From me. Even if I’m angry, I understand.”

“I’m sorry.” Ava reiterated, looking down as her tears hit the floor. 

“I still  _ love you. _ ” Beatrice laid a hand on Ava’s shoulder as she spoke. 

“You do?” Ava seemed genuinely confused. 

“Of course.” Beatrice answered resolutely. Ava looked up, finally, with a teary smile. “And Ava?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry, too.” 

“Why?” Ava asked.

“I was…” Beatrice sucked in a breath. “I was too harsh, too mean. I was angry with you but… Well, I’m sorry. I don’t want to see you hurt again… Or worse. You keeping something from me hurts on it’s own, but when it’s something that could hurt you too… I was really upset.” Now it was Beatrice’s turn to struggle with her words. 

“Oh.” Ava didn’t know how to reply. Instead, she pulled Beatrice into a tight hug, savouring the warm contact between them. 

“We should get going.” Beatrice whispered into Ava’s ear. 

“Where are we going?”

“I’m not the only person who deserves an apology from you. Plus, we have work to do.” 

Ava felt like she was on trial as Beatrice pushed her in front of Mary, Camila, and Lilith. They gathered back in the library, to create some semblance of a plan. 

“Hi guys, I’m Ava, and one fun fact about me is -”

“Ava, for  _ fuck’s sake! _ ” Mary scolded, although she and Camila both hid smiles.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry I kept this from all of you. Really.” Ava apologised, her cheeks burning. 

“Ava, I can’t speak for everyone, but I forgive you. When you have a family, you don’t write them out of your life when they make a mistake. Instead, you help them correct it and treat them with grace.” Camila stated, simply, with a smile. 

No one else spoke immediately, so Ava explained herself further. “I just… I wanted to be  _ sure  _ before I told anyone. I thought… I thought I was going crazy.”

“I forgive you. But if you ever,  _ ever,  _ do something like this again, Beatrice will be the least of your worries.” Mary laughed as Beatrice gave her an angry look. 

All eyes were on Lilith, who finally broke her silence. “I forgive you as well, Ava. I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did when you asked me…” She trailed off for a moment. “I know the scars  _ that place  _ leaves on you, so I can understand your reticence.”

“Thank you.” Before Ava could continue speaking, she was enveloped in a giant group hug, orchestrated by Camila. 

After the hugs dissipated, it was time to discuss their next step. “It’s obvious what we have to do.” Lilith stated, with a sympathetic look in Ava’s direction. 

“Is it?” Camila’s eyes were focused on Lilith.

“I know it’s not  _ ideal. _ But I don’t see any other way for us to confirm Adriel’s status.” Lilith retorted. 

“I could try…” Ava began, thinking of her ability to track Adriel with the halo. 

“Let’s try that first, before you go jumping back into  _ Hell. _ ” Mary agreed. 

“Be careful.” Beatrice whispered to Ava as she sat on the stone floor. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to be conscious of the halo’s power coursing through her. Flashes of blue and red flooded her vision in her mind’s eye. Ava swore she could sense Adriel, although her sight was fuzzy. She couldn’t make out anything around her, nor hear anything. 

“It’s just… Flashes. Nothing concrete. I’m sorry.” Ava mumbled, as she reopened her eyes to reality. 

“Plan B it is, then.” Mary sighed. Ava felt heavy as she stood up.

“At least we’ll know, one way or another.” Camila added, although she didn’t sound particularly optimistic about it. 

Ava felt the cold before she opened her eyes. Her frozen breath hung in the air, as did Lilith’s. Claw marks and dents in the ice remained from their last visit to the frozen wasteland. As they crunched across the ice, Ava noticed blood stains, preserved in the cold. 

“You went in here, I think.” Lilith whispered, gesturing to a smooth section of ice.

“That looks like my blood.” Ava tried to joke, gesturing at the ground. It felt hollow. 

Taking a moment’s pause, Ava tried to gather her nerves. She had pushed Adriel deep into the ice, there was no way they’d be able to see him from the outside. She’d have to phase in. 

“Watch for the divinium. I’ll be right here to take us back, but still, please try not to bleed this time.” Lilith told her, as calmly as she could. 

“Thank you. I’m sorry you have to come back here.” Ava phased away before Lilith could reply. 

Once within the wall, Ava tried to phase carefully and slowly. Her head was pounding. Within seconds she was face to face with the frozen form of her enemy. She tried to gasp but the air seemed to be pushed from her chest.  _ He’s still here.  _ Despite the scare, Ava felt a rush of relief. As she turned around, she felt a familiar presence in her mind. 

_ Thanks for coming to get me, Ava.  _

Without any care, Ava scrambled back out of the wall, almost unaware of the Divinium that had pressed it’s way under her skin. She kneeled on the ice trying to get a breath in as she panicked. Thankfully, her wounds from the Divinium weren’t bleeding profusely, and her clothing was absorbing most of it. Thank  _ God _ for small miracles. 

“Was he -” Lilith’s question was interrupted by a momentous cracking sound. She and Ava averted their attention to the wall as the ice seemed to split down the middle. The ground shook, sickeningly. Transfixed, Lilith and Ava watched in silence as Adriel slowly extricated himself from his icy prison. His slow movements were surprisingly graceful, yet unnervingly creepy. 

“It’s funny.” Adriel smiled at both of them as they looked on, frozen in place. “If you had done nothing, I would have been stuck here. But being so close to the halo…” Adriel stepped closer to Ava, yet she didn’t move. “Gave me the strength I needed.”

Lilith moved to attack, suddenly, her claws growing as she moved. Ava followed suit. Instead of blocking or striking, Adriel moved around them. He was unmistakably skilled, but slower than he was last time they fought. With a slash, Lilith made contact, gouging deep into Adriel’s chest and neck. Ava followed up with a kick and several punches, executing her attacks as Beatrice had taught her. 

Adriel was pressed against the wall, obviously wounded, and Ava held him there. She was preparing to phase him back into the ice. In the split second before she began, he seemed to dissolve from her fingers, crackling out of existence. 

With the weight of Adriel’s words echoing in Ava’s mind, she screamed, smashing her fists into the ice where Adriel had been standing. Lilith looked on, silently, as the halo glowed in anger. Huge shards of ice fell to the ground as Ava channeled the halo’s power into her pointless attacks on the wall. Just as Ava was about to carelessly splatter blood across the floor, Lilith put a hand on her shoulder, bringing them both back to Cat’s Cradle. 

“We have a problem.” Lilith announced solemnly, as Ava folded into a nearby chair, feeling as though her strength was gone.

“That much is obvious.” Beatrice observed. 

“I was tricked.” Ava whispered. “ _ God!  _ I am so  _ fucking stupid! _ ” She kicked the chair next to her, knocking it to the ground. Beatrice flinched at the sudden outburst. 

“What happened?” Camila asked, moving closer to Lilith, her voice concerned. 

“Adriel was still trapped when we got there.” Lilith began, her eyes unfocused and faraway. 

“ _ Was _ ?” Mary barely managed to hide the fear in her voice. 

“He said I set him free. Being close to the halo set him free.” Ava admitted, her voice trembling, matching her bloody hands. 

“We can figure something out, though! We always do…” Camila tried to lift the oppressive hopelessness that filled the room.

“He’s weak right now. Except for the disappearing act, he fought like a human.” Ava added. She sounded completely detached.

“Then we have time, at least.” Beatrice reasoned, trying to fight the anxiety that was flooding through her. 

“We’ve fought him once before, we can do it again. We’re better prepared than we were last time.” Mary stated, trying to emulate what she thought Shannon would say, had she been there. 

“That’s true. We also killed the pope and revealed he was actually evil, dismantling a ring of illicit activity around the globe!” Camila chimed in, happy that someone else was trying to look at this with a positive lens. 

“I have a few plans, theories really, that I’ve been meaning to bring to Dr. Salvius at ArqTech… Some of which may help us against Adriel.” Beatrice mused, thinking of her notebook full of calculations and sketches. 

Ava looked up at her sisters, with both awe and confusion. As the cliché goes,  _ the night is always darkest before the dawn.  _ Their hopefulness, their willingness to fight by her side despite her mistakes made her tear up. Even as she dripped blood on the floor and felt Adriel’s fingerprints on her mind, Ava couldn’t help but smile. Somehow, deep in the pit of her soul, she felt hopeful. 

As her sisters strategised, and the night sky became that of the early morning, Ava remembered what Lilith had told her. 

_ Training and vows don’t make the warrior nun, it’s what’s in your heart. It’s what you fight for. It’s the team that you have behind you. _


	6. Amends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava begins to make amends as plans are formed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was really hating where this fic was going but now... idk

To say that Mother Superion flew into a rage when Ava explained the situation would be a colossal understatement. It seemed that every time Ava was in the office alone, she ended up in tears. This occasion was no exception to the rule. 

“What were you thinking?!” Mother Superion was standing behind her desk as she yelled. 

“I needed to be sure! What if I was going crazy?” Ava timidly tried to defend herself. Somehow, an angry Mother Superion was significantly more terrifying than a demon. 

“You should have come to  _ me  _ either way. You can’t handle everything on your own!” She slammed the desk as she chastised Ava. 

“I just thought -”

“You just thought what?!” Mother Superion interrupted. “That you would endanger yourself? That you would endanger us? Both?”

“I…” Ava trailed off.

“Ava. I cannot imagine what you and your sisters have been through.” Mother Superion began, her voice softening as she sat back behind the desk. “Your protection is part of my job. Protection extends past the physical, as you know. Even if this was just in your mind, you still should have come to me. It would be beyond understandable should you, or your sisters, struggle to cope sometimes.”

Ava took a deep breath, surprised at the sudden shift in Mother Superion’s voice. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve apologised a lot over the past several hours. Let’s try to make amends with actions, instead of words.”

“Okay, okay.” Ava replied.

“I wish that I could send you off to fight Adriel immediately, but without any method of containment, we’ll have to wait. He’ll grow stronger by the day...” Mother Superion stated. Beatrice was away at ArqTech as they spoke, planning a solution to this problem with Dr. Salvius. 

Earlier, Beatrice had explained her thoughts about Divinium amplification and combining holy rituals with science. Her words had completely flown over Ava’s head. Camila, on the other hand, was riveted. She had accompanied Beatrice to ArqTech, bristling with excitement. Lilith and Mary, however, felt as overwhelmed as Ava. They elected to stay behind and train. 

“I know that your scars have yet to heal. I wish that I could protect all of you from this, but I cannot. Hopefully you can understand that my harshness doesn’t come from a desire to be vindictive, but rather, a desire to strengthen all of you.” Mother Superion admitted, with surprising candor. 

“I understand.” Ava replied, simply. 

“If we could amplify a current and channel it through the Divinium, theoretically, we could increase the potency of it’s effects, correct?” Beatrice asked Dr. Salvius as they walked through one of ArqTech’s labs. 

“In theory, yes.” Dr. Salvius replied, as she thought about the implications of Beatrice’s theories. 

“Developing on that, we could use that Divinium to contain something powerful, something ethereal. Or… Someone.”

“Someone?” Jillian Salvius stopped walking and turned to look at the two  _ nuns  _ who accompanied her. 

“Long story short, the OCS built their entire organisation upon the alleged actions of the angel, Adriel. Except, it turns out he’s actually evil and his  _ halo  _ might not actually be a halo at all. We trapped him in  _ Hell  _ months ago, but he’s really powerful and he escaped… So, we need a new form of prison.” Camila burned through Adriel’s history without taking a breath while Beatrice looked on, unsure if she should laugh or cry.

“That’s… A lot to take in.” Jillian replied. Her mind was racing at the possibilities. Would it be possible to harness Adriel’s energy if he was contained? If he was even a fraction as powerful as the halo bearer, the opportunities were infinite. 

“I understand that, doctor.” Beatrice responded, politely. “Adriel’s return poses a threat to the entire mortal realm, to every human on earth.”

“As you’ve explained. I’m on board, you don’t need to convince me further.” 

“Thank you, doctor!” Camila exclaimed. 

“Sister Beatrice, do you think you could explain your calculations to me more thoroughly?” Dr. Salvius asked, gesturing towards a clinically white meeting room. 

“Of course.” 

Beatrice drew several diagrams, accompanied by various equations, on the large white board at the front of the room. Camila bristled with excitement as Beatrice launched into her explanation for the second time that day. Jillian Salvius looked on with fascination in her eyes.

“Sister Beatrice, if I may interrupt?” Dr. Salvius paused, as Beatrice nodded to her. “You have a remarkable grasp of advanced maths and science for someone with little formal training.”

“I was fortunate to receive a quality education.” Beatrice flashed a small, knowing smile as she spoke. While it was true, she neglected to mention all of her extracurricular study, study that continued long after she left school. 

“Dr. Salvius,” Beatrice began after several minutes of explanations. “I must re-emphasise that this is incredibly time sensitive. I wish it weren’t, but unfortunately it’s not up to me. My sisters and I will soon have to fight Adriel and he gets stronger by the day.”

“I understand. I will do what I can.” Jillian stood to escort Camila and Beatrice from the building. 

On the sunny sidewalk outside the ArqTech facility, handshakes and formalities were exchanged. “Thank you for helping us.” Camila said, grinning. 

“Of course. Although, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about the power I can extract from this  _ Adriel. _ ” She admitted, curious to see what the nuns’ reactions would be. Beatrice, who had been the picture of refinement during the entire meeting, answered brusquely. 

“Do with him what you wish. The more he suffers, the better.”

“Oh… Okay.” Dr. Salvius replied. She was simultaneously relieved that they didn’t care what she did with Adriel, yet distrubed at Beatrice’s sudden outburst. 

“Thank you again, Doctor.” Beatrice said a moment later, with an innocent smile on her face. 

“I’ll be in touch soon.” Jillian Salvius told them as she headed back towards the building. 

“That went well, Bea!” Camila enthused as they drove back to Cat’s Cradle. 

“I agree.” Beatrice replied, calmly looking out the window as the city whizzed by. 

“When were you going to tell me you’re a genius?” Camila asked, catching Beatrice by surprise.

“I’m not.” 

“Bea. Come on. Even the renowned Dr. Jillian Salvius thinks so!” 

“Camila, that isn’t what she said.” Beatrice stated.

“When did you learn any of this?” Camila wondered.

“I’ve been reading, I don’t know.” Camila’s fussing made Beatrice feel uncomfortable, like she was under a microscope, being examined. It reminded her of her parents, albeit Camila’s intentions were much more pure. 

“You’re selling yourself short and you know it.” Camila told her. Beatrice didn’t reply, instead opting to let Camila get the last word in. 

“We could hear Mother Superion yelling at you through the window. How’d it go?” Mary asked as Ava met her and Lilith in the courtyard for training. 

“At first it was really bad, she was yelling a lot. Then she showed some mercy and it was almost nice.” Ava replied, still thinking of Mother Superion’s kind words. 

“She’s surprising sometimes. Are you ready to train?” Lilith stretched as she spoke. 

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Ava answered as she mimicked Lilith and warmed up.

The three of them sparred until the late afternoon. There was an unspoken agreement among them not to mention Adriel or any of the other unpleasant experiences they had shared. Instead, they bonded over the routine of training, the mundane normalcy of it all. Each of them was aware that a battle with Adriel could be their last, so holding onto the happy memories was critical. Despite the knowledge of his return, the sisters spent the afternoon joking and laughing as they trained. 

As the sun sank lower in the sky, Beatrice and Camila approached, having returned from their visit to ArqTech. With a smile, Beatrice watched her sisters laugh and joke, unaware of her presence. Ava wore a huge grin and, for the first time in awhile, seemed unburdened by all that haunted her. Oddly enough, Camila looked at Lilith in the same way.

Knocking Mary to the ground, Ava noticed them, and waved. “How was it?” Ava asked once Beatrice and Camila reached the training area.

“It went well.” Beatrice stated.

“Well?” Camila looked as though she was about to explode. “ _ Well? _ Beatrice impressed Dr. Salvius because she is a freaking  _ genius!! _ ” 

“I… That’s not what happened, Camila.” Beatrice was blushing furiously.

“Sounds about right.” Ava smiled, putting an arm around Beatrice’s shoulder. “She really does have it all folks. Killer fighting skills, genius level intelligence, and she’s beautiful!” Everyone laughed as Ava acted as Beatrice’s hype man, much to her embarrassment. 

“She seems out of your league, Ava.” Mary teased.

“You are correct.” Ava replied, with a laugh. Beatrice wished she was the halo bearer, so that she could phase through the ground, away from this embarrassment.

“Do you really think I’m out of your league?” Beatrice asked Ava, later that night as they laid in bed together. 

“Umm…” Ava paused. “Well, yeah.”

“Why?”

“Beatrice, are you serious? You are so talented, you’re literally good at  _ everything.  _ I don’t know if you realise this, but I’ve kind of been messing everything up lately.” Ava tried to stay lighthearted as she spoke, but a shadow fell across her face.

“I’m not good at everything. You’ve taught me a lot, Ava.” Beatrice answered, simply. 

“I have?” Ava was confused.

“Maybe unintentionally, but you and being with you has taught me how to…” She took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to say what she meant. “You taught me how to  _ be myself. _ ”

“What do you mean?”

“Before we met I was so ashamed of who I am… And what I loved. I resented that part of myself.” Beatrice admitted. 

“I love you.” Ava whispered, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with her emotions for Beatrice.

“I love you.” Beatrice replied, smiling.

Ava pulled herself closer to Beatrice and kissed her forehead with an uncharacteristic gentleness. With a mischievous smile, Beatrice forced Ava’s head down, allowing their lips to meet. It was the first time they had kissed, really kissed, since their argument. Within their actions, the desperation was palpable and full of hunger. After several increasingly heated moments, Ava pulled away.

“I’m sorry again.”

“Ava, please. It’s alright.” Beatrice replied, her hair now much messier than it had been before. 

“I’m serious! I really screwed up. I feel like an idiot. Mother Superion seemed to agree with me on that this morning.” 

“You had to have known she was going to be mad.” Beatrice added.

“I know. I did. She was nicer towards the end, anyhow. She said that I should have told her, regardless of what I thought about it… That our protection was her responsibility.”

“It is.”

“And she advised that I apologise with actions, not just words.”

“I agree with her. Saying sorry without changing your actions is empty.” Beatrice noted sagely. 

“I’m working on it.” Ava sighed and turned to look up at the ceiling. She felt exasperated. 

“I think I know of an action you can take that will help you apologise.” Beatrice whispered, her tone playful.

“What is it?” Ava questioned, seriously missing what Beatrice was trying to imply. 

“I’ll have to show you.” She reached around Ava, forcing the halo bearer to face her again. 

“Ohhhh….” Ava realised what Beatrice meant and her face promptly went red. 

A familiar golden glow soon illuminated the room, glowing more and more brightly by the minute. Soon, it filled the hallway, nearly blinding any unfortunate passerby. Lilith had been returning from an evening walk when she ran into Mary and Camila in the hall.

“Seems they are making up…” Mary mentioned with a laugh. 

“That’s good for them.” Camila grinned.

“They should really consider some shades, or something.” Lilith added.

“You jealous, Lilith?” Mary teased, before heading back down the hallway.

“No…” Lilith whispered, after Mary was out of earshot. 

Camila gave her a look of a curiosity, before looking each direction down the newly empty corridor. Quickly, she pressed onto her tiptoes and lightly kissed Lilith on the cheek. Without waiting to see her response, Camila scurried away, back into the sanctuary of her room. Lilith stood alone, in shock, with a hand on her cheek. She remained there for several minutes before rediscovering her ability to walk. 


	7. Testing the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Punishment is served, pranks are had, tests are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am grumpy

“Ava and I already met privately, but don’t think that the rest of you are off the hook.” Mother Superion paused to glare for dramatic effect. “I am well aware of what  _ all  _ of you have been through and the choices that you have had to make. But the next time you decide to teleport to  _ Hell  _ and accidentally free Adriel, I’d like to be included beforehand. Do I make myself clear?” Each sister nodded, looking at the ground as they were chastised.

“I can assure all of you that I won’t be as nice about this, should it happen a second time. As far as punishment…” She stopped for a moment, an evil smile creeping across her face. “I think I’ll come run your training today.”

Ava had never been through Mother Superion’s infamous training punishment before, but from her sisters’ faces, she inferred that it would be miserable. 

“But Dr. Salvius called…” Beatrice began, before being interrupted. 

“Yes, I was informed. She won’t be ready for your visit until after dinner. There is plenty of time until then.” Mother Superion replied. No one else spoke.

“This is child abuse!” Ava cried, as she ran up the hill for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. 

“You’re not a child, even if you do act like one.” Mary told her, as she ran by Ava’s side. The day’s training exercise was simple, but not easy. Mother Superion had them line up as she made them perform various combinations of attacks or blocks. Every mistake meant a run up the hill behind them. 

Ava spent a  _ lot  _ of time running, as did Mary. Camila and Lilith ran considerably less during the day, although they weren’t able to evade Mother Superion’s keen eye. Each sister looked at Beatrice with envy, who only made two mistakes during the entire day. Ava realised later that she might have made a lot more mistakes because of  _ how much  _ time she spent looking at Beatrice. 

After three hours of this torture, Mother Superion felt as though their punishment had been served. “I trust we have learned a lesson here.” She told them, before heading back to her office. 

“Beatrice… You suck.” Mary gasped after Mother Superion was out of earshot. 

“That’s rude!” Beatrice put a hand to her chest, pretending to be dramatically offended. 

“Are you making a  _ joke _ , Bea?” Camila asked as she wiped the sweat from her face. 

“It seems I’ve been spending too much time around Ava.” Beatrice mused, her tone light. 

“That much is obvious.” Lilith chimed in as she unscrewed the lid from her water bottle. 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I thought that was kind of fun!” Ava said from the ground, her legs too tired to stand. 

“Did you actually?” Beatrice wondered as she looked down at Ava, while trying not to laugh at her. 

“Yeah! I haven’t  _ felt  _ my legs in years. So in a way, I’m grateful for the pain.” Ava replied. It was so obvious, once she said it, although none of her sisters would have thought this otherwise. Her tone, too, was disarming. She sounded genuinely happy, excited like a puppy, about something that others would complain about. It was one of many things that Beatrice  _ loved  _ about her. 

“Why do we all have to go to ArqTech?” Ava asked later, in between gruesome bites of her dinner. “I’m not going to understand anything that is said.”

“Dr. Salvius requested you and Lilith, specifically.” Camila told her as she gave Lilith’s hand a squeeze under the table. 

“Wait, really?” Lilith was surprised. 

“I think I know why.” Beatrice stated.

“Do you want to fill the rest of us in?” Mary questioned.

“She probably wants to test their abilities, to see if her containment solution will be able to contain Adriel.” Beatrice replied. 

“That makes sense.” Camila muttered, her thoughts faraway. “I wonder if Dr. Salvius wants to use him as a power source. Maybe she thinks that it can help her get Michael back.”

“Most likely. I hope he suffers every second that he’s there.” Beatrice agreed, once again demonstrated her brutal, but warranted, disdain for Adriel. She felt Ava’s hand on her arm after she spoke, which calmed her sudden anger. 

“I’ll drink to that!” Mary raised her glass of juice then took a huge swig of it. Most of which she spit back out almost immediately. 

Beatrice looked at Ava as she went wild with laughter, nearly falling off of her chair. Fondly, Beatrice remembered the conversation that they had shared about Shannon’s prank. With a laugh, she realised that Ava had remembered as well. Camila howled, laughing as much at Ava as she was at Mary’s reaction. Lilith’s reaction was more subdued, although not by much. 

“Ava, I  _ swear to God! _ ” Mary yelled as she pretended to punch her. As Mary continued to laugh and joke with her sisters, she hoped Shannon was looking down on them. She would have been happy to see the next halo bearer pay homage to her via prank. 

As they crossed the ArqTech parking lot an hour later, Mary was still getting laughed at. 

“Why did I even have to come to this?” She asked, as Camila and Ava made stupid cheese puns. 

“You didn’t…” Beatrice began, as a smile grew across her face. “But I figured you would prefer to be here than at home drinking cheese water.” 

“Beatrice, I can’t be-cheese you just roasted Mary like that.” Ava giggled, as Lilith groaned at her truly terrible pun.

“Everyday we stray further from  _ God _ .” Lilith grumbled, making a joke of her own.

“Everyone is just feeling  _ so _ funny today, huh?” Mary asked, with sarcasm dripping from her words. 

“The humour really helps us cope. You guys have all been so sad lately, unlike me.” Ava matched Mary’s sarcasm as she patted her on the back. 

“Let’s just get this over with, shall we?” Lilith told them as they walked through the sliding glass doors of ArqTech. 

“Thank you all for coming.” Dr. Salvius had been waiting for them in the lobby. “Follow me, please.” As they followed her down the hallway, Ava noted with a smile that the security guard was staring at her in fear. 

An elevator descended, deep into the facility, it took nearly a minute for them to reach the bottom floor. “This is where we keep the most sensitive experiments.” Jillian Salvius explained, unwilling to divulge any more information than that. As the sisters followed her through the corridor, their footsteps echoed on the metal floor. Doors studded the sides of the hallway, protected with complex biometric security. Eventually, they reached their stop, a door numbered  _ 703\.  _

“Here we are.” Jillian gestured into the cold room after methodically unlocking each of the six locks on the door. A small observation deck, with a railing, was the room’s only standing area. Beyond that, the floor fell away, revealing only an inky black drop into nothing. In the middle of this drop was a platform, adorned with Divinium chains. A small walkway joined the platform to the observation deck. On one side of the deck, a powerful-looking bank of computers stood, blinking. 

“This is amazing, Doctor.” Beatrice breathed. It truly was impressive. Hopeful, even. 

“Thank you. I made a few small adjustments to your initial plans, but there wasn’t much to correct. You may have picked the wrong side, Sister Beatrice.” Jillian told her. Beatrice responded with a smile. 

“Lilith.” Dr. Salvius turned to address her. “Do you want to go first?” 

“I don’t  _ want  _ to. But I will.” Lilith answered. Ava was surprised to notice that Lilith looked scared.

“I understand. Follow me.” 

It was only a few minutes before Lilith was chained in Adriel’s prison. Dr. Salvius returned across the walkway. A switch on the computer bank allowed her to retract the walkway, which she did. 

“Alright, Lilith. Please, give it your all and try to escape.” She called out, once everything was prepared. 

To Lilith’s credit, she did as she was asked. Several times she attempted to teleport away, as they had seen her do dozens of times before. Either the various failsafes that Dr. Salvius had built in or the Divinium chains kept Lilith tethered to her spot. As she struggled, her hair came undone, the untamed strands of grey making her look wild. After several minutes, she dropped to her knees, sweat glistening on her skin. Dr. Salvius looked pleased, despite the suffering she had obviously just caused Lilith. Ava felt even more nervous to take her place. 

All too quickly, Lilith rejoined them on the platform, leaning heavily against Camila for support. Ava followed Dr. Salvius out across the walkway. Gently, she closed the chains around Ava’s hands, feet, and torso - while marvelling at the blue glow they emitted in Ava’s presence. Across the divide, she met Beatrice’s eyes. A small comfort while awash with fear. 

Once Jillian had crossed to the other side, Ava began trying to escape. First, she tried the obvious by attempting to phase out of her Divinium chains. She was unsuccessful. Instead, Ava tried generating a shield around herself, thinking that she could force the shackles to break. Still no luck. Channeling the halo’s energy, Ava forced herself into the air, pulling the chains painfully taught. She felt them cut into her wrists and ankles. The familiar weight of exhaustion began pressing it’s way in on her, but she persevered. 

_ Give it your all. I don’t care if you’re tired. You owe it to your sisters, to the world, to ensure that this prison is secure enough to hold Adriel.  _

While she hung in the air, Ava generated a shockwave of gold, a last ditch effort to free herself. Thankfully, she failed. Slumping back to the ground in a heavy pile of chains, Ava smiled. She felt hopeful. More than anything, though, she felt like taking a very long nap. Preferably one where she could curl up against Beatrice. Ava grinned at thought, before her eyes closed to the world. 


	8. A New Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A journey begins amongst conversations and realisations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally finished legend of korra and i have a lot of feelings

Adriel dove from his hiding spot, beneath some low brush that lined the dirt trail. A scream echoed, for no one to hear, as the solo hiker dropped his pack. With as fast of a gesture as he was capable, Adriel grasped his head, destroying the hiker’s soul. Callously, Adriel let the man’s hollow body drop to the ground as he revelled in the small rush of strength. The rush only lasted for a moment, though, as he was painfully aware of how weak he had become during his internment. 

Without remorse, Adriel kicked the body into the bushes, throwing the pack in afterwards. Slow steps marked his return to his cave. Adriel felt overwhelmed with resentment for the halo bearer. He should have been welcomed into this world as a  _ God.  _ Instead, he hides in a cave like an animal, too weak to access most of his abilities. There are much less people here than in a city, meaning less souls for him to draw strength from. Adriel is aware that, in his current state, he wouldn’t benefit from the increasing population. 

“He’s in a cave, somewhere. Not far… I can feel it. He’s weak… Weaker.” Ava whispered, returning to reality. The testing at ArqTech had been exhausting, but time was of the essence when it came to Adriel. 

“Define  _ not far. _ ” Mary asked, looking at Ava with a tired expression. 

“Within an hour or two. North.” Ava breathed as she leaned her head against the hard stone wall. 

“I think I know where he might be.” Beatrice chimed in, already imagining a map of the region. “Ava, if we were to get closer would you be able to narrow in on Adriel?”

“Yes.” Ava didn’t open her eyes as she replied, although the sound of Beatrice’s voice made her heart sing. 

“First thing in the morning, I’m sending you after him.” Mother Superion ordered. “For now, get a good night’s sleep. I think everyone could use it. Neither Ava or Lilith is ready to fight right now.” 

She met no resistance on her decision to wait. Upon their return to Cat’s Cradle, Camila had taken Lilith to bed, as she was barely conscious. Ava had to be woken up to use her abilities to find Adriel. Going after him now, even in his weakened state, could be a death sentence. Beatrice helped Ava from the floor and down the hall, while Mary finished debriefing Mother Superion. 

After getting Ava into bed, Beatrice quickly left the room to brush her teeth. In the three minutes that she was gone, Ava was already asleep. Gently, Beatrice slid into bed next to her. 

“Goodnight Ava. I love you.” She whispered, gently placing a kiss on Ava’s forehead. Beatrice took a moment to admire Ava’s beauty, knowing that tonight could be the last they spent together. With a sigh, she tried to push that thought out of her mind before she fell asleep.

Adriel stood above Ava’s crumpled form, laughing maniacally. As Ava weakly stood back up, her last stand, he struck her down. _ For good _ . With her dying breath, Ava turned towards Beatrice, desperately searching for her face. As Beatrice charged forward, the only thought on her mind was revenge. Anger, pure and simple. A scream rose from her throat as…

“Beatrice!” Ava yelled, her hand on Beatrice’s shoulder, waking her from her nightmare. 

“Ava?” Beatrice was confused, at first. She could feel her heart hammering inside her chest and sweat coated her face. 

“Are you okay?” Ava asked, gently.

“I…” Beatrice still felt as though half of her mind was back in her nightmare. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise. I know I’ve woken you up plenty of times with my nightmares.” Ava replied, laying back down.

“Still… I…” Beatrice mumbled, gradually calming down. 

“Shh… It’s okay. I love you.” Ava patted Beatrice’s face, accidently, as she was already falling back to sleep. With a smile, Beatrice rolled onto her sound, putting an arm across Ava. Within minutes, they were both asleep. 

Lilith awoke a few minutes before the agreed upon time -  _ too early.  _ Her room was still half cloaked in darkness. Familiar pastel drawings adorned the walls and a growing collection of plants decorated the desk. Everything was familiar, yet, something was different. As Lilith woke up more fully, she realised with a start what had changed. 

Each of the rooms that lined the walls of Cat’s Cradle were unique. It was an ancient building, thus, it was unsurprising that there would be differences. Lilith’s room, fitting to her personality, always seemed several degrees colder than the others. Even in the heat of summer, Lilith always seemed to wake up shivering, cold in an empty bed. What struck her as different, this morning, was that she was still warm. 

Camila was still asleep, in the bed next to Lilith. Her curly hair spilled across the pillow, starkly contrasted by the white sheets. Lilith looked at her, feeling comforted and nervous at the same time. With a sigh, Lilith curled back into the blankets and enjoyed a few more moments of warmth. 

Everyone stood at the car, half an hour later, as they went over the plan once more. Camila had made each of them a coffee to stave off the yawning, which proved necessary. 

“Once we’ve weakened him enough, Lilith will teleport him back to ArqTech. Dr. Salvius is on standby, waiting for your arrival. We’ll drive back and meet you there as quickly as possible.” Beatrice explained, quietly, as Mary and Lilith packed the car with weapons. 

“Fighting Adriel without an army of the possessed will hopefully make this easier than last time.” Camila added, after taking a sip of her coffee. She took it with cream and sugar, albeit  _ much  _ less than Ava did. 

“Maybe. Don’t get complacent.” Ava retorted, way too sharply.

“ _ Tone. _ ” Lilith snarled, surprisingly herself at her defense of Camila. 

“I’m sorry.” Ava gave Lilith a curious look before continuing. “I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt. Again.” As Ava spoke, Beatrice was reminded of her nightmare. She was glad that Ava was taking this seriously, although it did little to ease her worry. 

“That’s alright, Ava. I understand where you’re coming from.” Camila said with a smile, blushing slightly as she thought about how Lilith had defended her. 

“Enough of this.” Mary stated as she closed the trunk of the car. “Let’s go. It’s time to  _ cheese  _ the day.”

“Mary! Did you just…” Ava’s grin was so big that Beatrice wondered if it hurt her face. 

“I did. Now let’s get going.” 

“Can I drive?” Ava asked. The sisters exchanged a silent look, before settling back on Ava. 

“Fifteen minutes, then we switch.” Mary told her with a serious tone. Beatrice swore that she could see the halo through Ava’s shirt as she ran to the driver’s side door.

“Great. We’ll get a chance to die before we even get there.” Lilith joked as she climbed into the backseat. 

“Shhh… I’m concentrating.” Ava whispered, her face scrunched into an odd expression. With extreme concentration, she backed the car out and turned it around. Slowly, too slowly, she began driving down towards the town. Away from Cat’s Cradle and away from safety. 

“Ava, you can go a little bit faster.” Mary said, as Ava creeped down the dirt road.

“But… Safety.” 

“We’ve fought literal demons and you’ve been to  _ Hell.  _ I think you can go faster than ten miles per hour.” Mary had a point. Carefully, she sped up, reaching a more acceptable speed. Despite all of the jokes, everyone was impressed with Ava’s newfound driving abilities. 

After her promised fifteen minutes, Ava was relieved to give up driving. It took too much concentration in its newness. Mary took her place and Ava sat in the passenger’s seat, occasionally offering vague directions, trying to follow Adriel’s energy. Beatrice kept a hand on her shoulder, from the backseat, a constant presence for which Ava was grateful. 

Lilith took a deep breath. She had a lot she wanted to say, yet she wasn’t quite ready to say it. Instead, she opted to grab Camila’s hand, squeezing it tightly. The gesture didn’t communicate all that she wanted it too, but it would have to be enough for now. 

“Mary, turn off here.” Ava commanded quietly after another hour of travel. Mary did as she was told, without a word. 

“Is this the place?” Camila asked, still hand in hand with Lilith in the backseat. 

“He’s here.” Ava responded resolutely, with confidence. Beyond the car, a vast expanse of canyons, mountains, and forests stood before them. A massive wilderness area, thankfully with little tourism, was where Adriel was hiding.  _ Not a horrible place for a deadly showdown, honestly.  _ Ava thought, with a light smile. She felt a spark of hope rise within her chest as she and her sisters exited the vehicle.

After leaving their vehicle in the tiny, overgrown parking lot, Ava led her sisters down a narrow path. She could feel the halo buzzing within her, pushing her in the right direction. They were dressed as civilians, to avoid suspicion, although everyone was carrying at least two weapons. The Divinium sword was slung across Ava’s back, although she also had a large knife strapped to her belt loops. 

Beatrice walked by Ava’s side, holding her hand. Ava couldn’t help but wonder if the halo was reacting to Adriel’s presence of Beatrice’s. She looked beautiful in the early morning sun, it highlighted the refined contours of her face. 

“Beatrice? Do you think we could spend some time outdoors… One day? Preferably without the threat of death and violence hanging over us?” Ava whispered, timidly. 

“Maybe I could finally teach you to swim as well…” Beatrice replied, unable to hide her smile. 

“That would be nice.” Ava mused, completely distracted from their current mission. Instead, she was imagining a life with Beatrice, different to the one they already shared. 

“Can you two  _ focus _ ?” Mary whispered, from behind them, although there was laughter in her voice. 

Several paces behind Mary, Camila and Lilith walked together. “You stayed in my room last night.” Lilith said, quietly, hoping that the awkwardness she felt wasn’t evident in her voice. 

“I wanted to make sure you were alright…” Camila trailed off. She was wondering if she had made a mistake. 

“It was nice.” Lilith felt lighter in admitting it. “Warm.” 

“You’re not… angry?” Camila seemed small as she asked.

“What?” Lilith stopped walking. “Of course not!”

“You really  _ have  _ changed.”

“People keep telling me that.” Lilith paused for a moment. “Camila,  _ when  _ we get through this, do you want to… Maybe do something, just the two of us?” Lilith almost teleported away after asking; she wasn’t used to feeling awkward or nervous.

“I’d love to.” Camila answered, quietly, having trouble hiding the smile on her face. Gently, she took Lilith’s hand in her own.

With only the barely audible sound of crunching steps in the dirt, they headed deeper into the forest. Closer to Adriel and closer to battle. Birds chirped around them as wind gently rustled the trees. It almost seemed like too peaceful of a morning to disturb with violence. 


	9. Turning Tides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A battle occurs. No spoileys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beep boop another update

“He’s up there.” Ava whispered as she pointed away from the trail and up a sloping canyon. There were several caves cut into the rough stone faces that lined the canyon walls. Beatrice pulled out two knives, an accessory for each hand. Ava heard the familiar clicks of gun safeties as Mary and Camila both prepared their weapons. 

“Let’s try to stay quiet, maybe we can gain the advantage if we surprise him.” Mary offered as she began treading through the long grass. 

_ Ava. I’ve been waiting for you and your friends to show. Don’t think this will be quick and easy. I’ve bested you before, remember? _

Ava felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as Adriel whispered within her mind. She froze, unable to continue walking for a moment. Beatrice laid a hand on her back, face full of concern. 

“He knows we’re here.” Ava told everyone, her voice full of fear. 

“That hasn’t stopped us before.” Lilith stated, continuing the walk up the hill. Ava admired her confidence.

Camila discovered the first dead body in the grass. She recoiled as she nearly stepped on it, making an unintelligible noise. 

“What is it?” Beatrice asked, taking a step towards Camila. Her face dropped in an instant, upon seeing it. 

“Another innocent dead.” Camila said in a gravelly tone. Quickly, she said a few words of prayer before moving on. Ava felt as though an extra serving of guilt had just been added to her plate. 

Four more bodies marked their walk to the top of the hill, each of which was given a quick prayer by Camila. In her overwhelming guilt and fear, Ava couldn’t help but wonder if she and her sisters would face the same fate soon. The morbidity hung in the air, unable to be blown away by the wind nor melted by the bright rays of sun. 

“My favourite group of nuns. I’m so  _ glad  _ to see you.” Adriel spoke, slowly, as he stepped out from one of the caves and into the clearing at the top of the hill. Upon his reveal, Beatrice immediately began attacking, a knife already spinning through the air. Without losing his unnerving smile, Adriel plucked it from the air, and threw it back. Luckily, Beatrice managed to avoid it. 

_ I’ll kill her first.  _

Adriel spoke in Ava’s head - her love for Beatrice had been obvious on her face. As Adriel took a step forward, a shotgun blast echoed through the cannon, and a massive hole appeared in his chest. As blood dripped from the wound, he turned to look at Mary. 

“That wasn’t very nice.” He spoke as though he was chastising a small child for misbehaving. This was terrifying, especially as they watched in horror as his chest seemed to knit itself back together. 

The time for words was over now, as each sister attacked. Working as a team, in unison, Adriel barely had a moment for a counterattack. Camila kept her distance, her gunfire popping through the forest, providing cover for each of her sisters. Beatrice and Lilith were both close to Adriel, methodically striking. Each of their slashes sprayed his blood on the stones behind him. Despite Adriel’s innate healing, Mary still provided plenty of shotgun fire. At the very least, it gave them a few seconds respite from a counterattack. Ava fought defensively, using her shield to keep her sisters safe, as needed. 

“Enough of this!” Adriel shouted from within the barrage of attacks. With his small remaining amount of power, he generated his own shockwave, not unlike that of Ava’s. Everyone went flying into the grass, landing heavily. Lilith, having been so close to him, didn’t have time to teleport around it. Trying to phase around it was impossible, Ava discovered, and she too flew through the air. She landed heavily and she felt her bones break as she slammed into the rocks. Hopefully, the others had a softer landing. 

Trying to get air back into her lungs, as her bones quickly creaked back together, Ava looked around. None of her sisters had gotten up, but Adriel was walking purposefully towards Beatrice, who was laying in the grass. A heated rage burned through Ava’s veins as the halo propelled her from the ground. She closed the distance between her and Adriel in a moment, just as Beatrice turned to face him in horror.

“I agree, Adriel. Enough of this.” Ava turned his own words against him. She placed her hand on his forehead, just like she had seen him do to innocent civilians. Her feet left the ground as Ava felt the halo’s energy flow through her, stronger than it had before. Adriel screamed as Ava tightened her grip. It was almost impossible to watch, the halo was glowing so brightly. As Adriel continued to howl, Ava’s light began to fill him as well, glowing from his eyes and mouth, shooting into the sky. It was a powerful sight. 

After several minutes, his shouting ceased, and a quiet fell back over the canyon as he dropped to the ground. Ava joined him in the dirt a moment later. By this time, each of her sisters had recovered and had watched Ava in awe. 

“What the  _ fuck  _ was that?” Mary asked as they quickly converged on Adriel and Ava. 

“ _ Language.  _ Lilith, are you ready to take him?” Beatrice looked at Adriel as she spoke. 

“We do what we have to do. See you at ArqTech.” Lilith put a hand on Adriel’s shoulder, preparing to take him, when Camila stopped her. 

“Wait, before you go…” Camia began, surprisingly timid for someone with an automatic rifle in her hands. 

“What?” Lilith paused, her voice was gentle. Camila didn’t verbally answer, instead kissing Lilith for the second time in the last few days. This time, however, the kiss landed squarely on her lips. Camila seemed unbothered by their audience. It was a quick kiss, time was of the essence, but Lilith’s smile seemed to hang in the air for a moment as she teleported away. 

“Don’t think we aren’t going to be talking about  _ that  _ on the ride home, young lady.” Mary told a blushing Camila. “How is she doing?” Mary turned to ask Beatrice, who was assessing Ava’s condition.

“She’s breathing, raggedly. Her heart’s beating too fast. No blood though.” Beatrice brushed Ava’s messy hair from her eyes and held her head out of the dirt. 

“Let’s get out of here.” Camila said, helping Beatrice and Mary lift Ava. Between the three of them, her slight frame wasn’t too difficult to carry down the hill and through the woods. 

“Before we leave, is everyone else okay?” Camila held up a first aid kit after stacking her guns back into the car. Beatrice and Mary paused for a moment, taking stock of themselves, now that the adrenaline of battle had subsided. 

“I think I’m okay. Few bruises. Nothing a good night’s sleep and a few glasses of whiskey can’t fix.” Mary chuckled, as she climbed in the car. 

“I’m alright as well.” Beatrice whispered, before getting in the backseat and tenderly putting an arm around Ava. 

“A rare stroke of good luck. Maybe my prayers were answered.” Camila looked up at the sky, then put the first aid kit back. She thought of Lilith, hoping that she made it back to ArqTech safely. 

“So…” Mary began, looking at Camila who was driving. “You and Lilith?” 

“We…” Camila felt her face burning. “It’s new. I don't know. It just sort of happened. She’s changed a lot, you know.” 

“I know. She might be plagued by trauma, but she’s also kinder now. More understanding.” Beatrice noticed nearly everything that happened around Cat’s Cradle, but it would have been nearly impossible to avoid Lilith’s dramatic change in character over the past few months. 

“I’m starting to feel like a fifth wheel here.” Mary thought of Shannon, desperately wishing she was still with her. 

“Mary.” Camila took a hand off of the wheel, setting it on Mary’s shoulder. “Whatever happens, we are a team first and foremost. You will never be a fifth wheel, because you are an important and necessary part of us. Okay?” 

“Okay, okay.” Mary smiled as she wiped a tear from her eye. 

“I agree with Camila. Lilith isn’t the only one who’s changed, Mary. You used to be a lot more of a loner, always off doing your own thing, on your own mission. Now, you’re a team player. A leader. Shannon would be proud.” Beatrice told her, earnestly.

“It’s like you two are  _ trying  _ to make me cry.” Mary whispered as she swiped more tears from her face.

“We’ve all been through so much. It’s almost ridiculous. Trauma has broken us and then built us back up again. These scars will take a long time to heal. Yet, there have been positive changes within each of us.” Beatrice concluded. Ava laid across her lap, still unmoving. 

“Speaking of positive changes…” Camila looked away from the road for a moment to glance at Ava. “What was  _ that _ ?”

“You don’t know?” Mary asked. “You built an entire archive that detailed the history and abilities of every warrior nun.”

“There’s never been anything like this.” Camila stated. “None of the other warrior nuns have ever faced the sheer amount of challenges that Ava has and  _ none  _ of them have ever done… Whatever it was she did to Adriel.”

“Hopefully she wakes up from this one.” Beatrice mumbled, her focus on Ava’s still face.

“She will.” Mary set a hand on Beatrice’s knee. “She will.”

“Have faith, sister.” Camila added.

As they sped back towards ArqTech, they were hopeful, yet anxious. So far, they had made it through their battle relatively unscathed. Maybe it was the past haunting them, but Beatrice couldn’t help but feel as though they’d gotten off  _ too easily.  _ As if, something had to go wrong. She tried to shake the thought from her mind as she held Ava. 

When they pulled into the ArqTech parking lot, it was obvious that something had gone wrong. Three police cars were dotted around the front entrance, doors left open as though they were suddenly abandoned. Caution tape was wrapped around the main entryway and the glass doors were smashed in. 

“This is not good…” Camila breathed as she parked the car. 

“Understatement of the year. What’s our game plan here?” Mary asked, as she moved to get out. “We can’t just leave Ava in the car.”

“Agreed.” Beatrice noted as she looked at Ava. “Do we carry her in or…”

Before anyone answered, Mary opened the back door, and slapped Ava across the face. Hard. 

“Mary what the  _ fuck?! _ ” Beatrice flew out of her seat to defend Ava, when she heard a small voice. 

“Beatrice?” 

Immediately, she felt the anger evaporate, as she turned to Ava. “Are you okay?” 

“I think Mary slapped me.” Ava croaked, her voice hoarse. 

“She did.” Beatrice glared at Mary, who only laughed at her. 

“That’s okay. I deserved it for the cheese thing. It’s not as bad as the time she pushed me off a cliff.” Ava smiled and opened her eyes, slowly. 

“A little overprotective there, huh Beatrice?” Mary teased as they pulled their weapons out of the trunk. 

“I’m not justifying that with a response. Let’s go.” Beatrice was embarrassed at her behaviour, although she realised that Mary was doing what needed to be done. 

As a team, they headed towards the building. Mary and Camila took point, their guns drawn and ready. Beatrice walked behind them, knife in one hand, while the other helped steady Ava. She was awake, barely, with the Divinium sword held loosely in her hand. Her other arm was wrapped around Beatrice’s shoulders, as her legs could barely support her weight. 

Ducking under the police tape, glass crunched under their feet. The entire waiting room had been destroyed, as if a storm had ripped through. Ava felt her heart hurt as she saw the security guard strewn over the desk, dead. Two other guards lay dead in a corner, as well as a civilian near the elevator. No one spoke. 

Turning down the hallway, they once again ventured into the unknown. 


	10. Containment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The situation at ArqTech is sorted out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woop woop

It seemed like a lifetime ago that Camila and Lilith shared an evening walk in the Cat’s Cradle gardens, whereas in reality, it was only a few days. Despite the events that haunted each of them, they both revelled in the presence of one another. Everything was new and exciting. Kind. Initially, Lilith had only intended for it to be a short walk, enough to calm Camila down. Instead, they spent several hours wandering in circles, talking about everything and nothing all at once. 

“What scares you?” Camila asked, a total non sequitur after her last question about literary preferences. 

“What scares me?” Lilith echoed the question, barely registering the meaning of the words. 

“I’ve been trying to be more upfront with myself about what I’m afraid of and I’ve shared some of my fears with you, too. But I’m curious, what makes the brave and mighty Lilith tremble?” Camila explained, slightly dramatically. 

“I don’t think  _ Hell  _ scares me anymore.” Lilith paused, remembering all that she had experienced down there. “I don’t like it, obviously. But I don’t hold the same fear as I used to, rather, I’ve accepted the eventuality that I may end up there.”

“You’ve continuously fought for the right side, despite everything, despite a few stumbles along the way. I have no doubt that you’ll be sent to the kingdom of  _ Heaven _ .”

“I wish I could be as sure of that as you are.” Lilith replied, genuinely. 

“Is that the only thing?”

“I feel responsible for innocent deaths now, way more than I have in the past. I don’t know what’s changed, or what’s wrong with me, but…” Lilith trailed off. “My abilities aren’t  _ God-given,  _ but I still feel a burden… A responsibility to save people from the darkness, even though…” Lilith didn’t know how to explain any further, so she stopped talking altogether. 

“I think I understand what you are saying.” Camila offered her a kind smile. “It’s not unlike the burden that Ava feels, as the halo bearer.” 

“I suppose you could phrase it like that.” Lilith mumbled, painfully aware of the irony of the situation. 

“You’ve both faced so much, in such a short amount of time. You two will be OCS legends, for sure.” Camila tried to turn the conversation in a more positive direction as she started to regret asking her question, after seeing the effect it had on Lilith’s demeanor. 

“I’m sick of people getting hurt… Getting killed. Because I… We weren’t fast enough, not strong enough…” The logical side of Lilith’s brain was trying to reason with her, arguing that the innocent deaths weren’t entirely her fault - or her fault at all. Yet, the guilt felt inescapable. 

“I know how you feel…” Camila whispered, as she stared at the ground. 

The building seemed empty as they navigated the austere hallways of ArqTech. After several minutes, in a room with glass walls, they caught a sight of Dr. Salvius. At the table in the meeting room, a large group of police and security were gathered. She was at the front of the room, animatedly speaking, although she was inaudible through the glass. Mary strong armed everyone back, thinking it unwise to be seen. 

“Just in case.” She whispered. Too late, however, as Jillian Salvius had caught a glimpse of them before they disappeared behind the solid wall. Politely, she requested that the group of men excuse her for a moment, as she ventured into the hallway. 

“Sisters.” She greeted them, quietly. 

“What happened here?” Camila asked, her eyes wide.

“There was an incident, which I am currently trying to smooth over with the police right now. Lilith is fine, don’t worry. Adriel is contained.” Dr. Salvius pressed a set of several keycards into Mary’s hand as she spoke. Her tone was rushed. 

“Thank you, Doctor.” Beatrice replied as Jillian hurried back into the meeting room. 

Mary struggled with the stack of security keycards at the elevator, until Camila tenderly helped her. Expertly, Camila sorted through them, keying in the codes and activating the RFID chips in the right order. Soon, the elevator lurched and they began their sickening descent into the basement once more. 

In Ava’s dreary, half asleep state, the basement hallway seemed to stretch. It was like a nightmare, where you ran and ran, only to find that you could never reach your destination. Her breath hitched at the realisation, as anxiety seemed to flood her lungs. 

“Ava?” Beatrice breathed, sensing the sudden change.

“Scared…” This all Ava managed to choke out. Beatrice tightened her grip around Ava’s waist as she whispered gentle words into her ears. 

“703, this is us.” Mary spoke with a gravelly tone. 

“I hate this place.” Camila said as she methodically opened each lock on the door. After a few minutes, the door opened with a pneumatic hiss.

It was obvious Lilith had been crying. Beyond the hollow look that she seemed to take on after a bout of powerful overexertion, her eyes were rimmed with red. With a shudder, Camila realised what had happened upstairs. Holstering her gun, she hugged Lilith, grateful that she was still alive. Everyone joined in, feeling as though the oppressive weight of uncertainty had been lifted. 

After breaking apart, Mary asked what everyone had been thinking. “What happened up there? Did he kill those people?” She gestured to Adriel, who was still unconscious in his shackles.

“No, I…” Lilith felt her body shake as she tried to explain and Camila knew at that moment her theory was correct.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Camila stated, simply, as she reached out for one of Lilith’s hands. 

“If it weren’t for you, Adriel would likely still be free.” Beatrice spoke up, trying to ease her friend’s mind, knowing too well the weight of the guilt. 

“That must be why the police are here…” Mary whispered, working through what she had learned. “Sudden explosion at ArqTech, it must have tripped a ton of security measures.”

“Essentially.” Lilith’s voice was ragged. “Dr. Salvius said she would handle it - that what I needed to focus on was confining Adriel.”

“She was right…” Ava said, slowly and tiredly, as she stared at Adriel. “You did the right thing.”

“I…” Lilith shook her head as if she was trying to erase the thoughts from her head. “I’m happy to see all of you.”

Before anyone else could speak, the door hissed open again. A harried-looking Jillian Salvius stood in the doorway. 

“The police have been dealt with, you’re all in the clear.” She had an air of authority as she spoke.

“Thank you.” Lilith stepped forward. “I’m sorry I -” 

“It’s alright. I know it wasn’t intentional. It’s my fault really, I should have had the room cleared in anticipation of your arrival.” Dr. Salvius gave Lilith a small, sad smile. 

“I tried to get down here directly…” Lilith looked at the ground, desperate to hide her face. “Whatever shielding you have built into the walls down here made it impossible. I’m sorry.”

“Lilith, please. It is an unfortunate result, I won’t lie to you. Sometimes, these things happen, as sad as it is. What you did today was nothing short of heroic, please try to remember that.” Jillian’s words were kind, although privately she thought that no price was too high for the power Adriel could provide. 

Lilith didn’t look convinced, although she gave Dr. Salvius a nod in agreement. Camila pulled her in close as the conversation concluded. Before anyone else could speak, a horrible roar ripped through the room. Adriel had woken up, startling each of them, Ava most of all. Despite everything, though, he looked terrible. Weak. 

“Dr. Salvius. May I have a word with him?” Beatrice asked politely, as the sound of screams and rattling chains filled the room. 

“Of course.” She replied, before giving Beatrice a quizzical look.

“Thank you.” Beatrice took a step forward towards the extending walkway, as Mary offered Ava an arm of support. 

“Beatrice… He’s dangerous.” Ava rasped, her weak voice not conveying the strength of her emotions in the slightest. 

“So am I.” Her tone was indecipherable.

Ava watched in horror as she crossed the walkway. Adriel’s creepy smile hung on his sunken face and Ava knew that face would haunt her dreams for years. Beatrice kneeled before his broken form, unsheathing a Divinium knife that she kept on her calf. Calm whispers were audible, although Ava couldn’t make out what Beatrice was saying. Each whisper was accented by a slice of the knife, as Adriel’s blood coated the floor beneath her feet.

Slowly, they witnessed the impossible. As Beatrice stood, Adriel looked  _ scared.  _ No one spoke as she walked back towards them, wiping the blade on the fabric of her shirt. 

“What did you say to him?” Camila wondered in a small voice, as she looked between Adriel and Beatrice. 

“What needed to be said.” Beatrice replied darkly. “Now, let’s go home.”

“From now on, this is as  _ good  _ as it gets.” Beatrice growled under her breath as Adriel struggled against his chains.  _ Slash.  _

“Oh Beatrice, you were always my favourite.” Adriel smiled as he spoke, blood splattering from his lips. 

“Drop the act. I designed this prison and Dr. Salvius has full reign to drain the power out of you, every single day, for eternity.”  _ Slash.  _

Adriel’s face fell, his façade cracking. “Please.” Beatrice returned his smile now, as he begged. 

“You took advantage of us, of Ava, to escape from  _ Hell.  _ Thus, I took it upon myself to create your own, personal  _ Hell  _ here. Where you can…”  _ Slash.  _ “Atone for your sins. Or just suffer, I don’t really care.” Beatrice spoke quietly and methodically. Her words were loaded with emotion, despite their cold enunciation.

“Not very sisterly of you.” Adriel choked out a laugh, although it was obviously a last ditch attempt to garner some pity. Perhaps, he sought to appeal to any potential shred of empathy that Beatrice held for him. 

“You’ve caused my sisters and I a lot of pain. I don’t even know  _ how many  _ innocents you’ve killed. Frankly, I think this is what  _ God  _ would want.”  _ Slash.  _

  
Adriel didn’t reply, he knew that his fate was sealed. “Ava grows in power every time you see her. But, if you even  _ think  _ about escaping, about hurting anyone… Ava will be the least of your worries, I assure you.” Beatrice stood and walked away, before he could reply. 


	11. 1 Peter 4:8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations are had and confessions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Self harm (be safe <3)

“We captured Adriel and we’re  _ still  _ home in time for dinner!” Ava tried to lighten the mood as they sat at the table. After a long meeting with Mother Superion, they were dismissed for dinner. Despite their victory, no one seemed to feel like celebrating. This didn’t stop an exhausted-looking Ava for giving it her best effort, though.

“It doesn’t seem like there’s much to celebrate.” Lilith bit, looking equally exhausted. 

“I…” Ava swallowed her retort, feeling guilty. Beatrice pressed a hand into her back, a small comfort. 

“We can celebrate that this is, in fact, actual juice.” Mary held up her glass as she spoke, trying to lighten the tension between them. 

“ _ Orange  _ you glad it is?” Camila asked, unable to hide her smile. 

“Yes! Camila!” Ava grinned back at her. 

“Oh my  _ God. _ ” Mary put her face in her hands, feigning embarrassment. 

“Hey, I think it’s  _ grape  _ that everyone is getting along.” Beatrice couldn’t help but join in. Mary groaned at the pun, while Ava and Camila giggled. It was hard to imagine that, only a few hours ago, Beatrice had been brutally threatening someone. Granted, it was Adriel, so it was well deserved. Still, Ava couldn’t quite shake the image from her mind.

“What you did today was amazing.” Beatrice whispered to Ava, as they crawled into bed together later that evening. 

“I don’t know…” Ava looked away, unable to accept the compliment. 

“It was. How did you even know to do that? What was that?” 

“When Adriel kills people, to feed on their souls or life force or… Whatever it is. That’s how he does it. I wasn’t even sure if it would work… It felt like I was creating a shield within his body and pushing it out. I was in his mind as I did it… I could tell it hurt him… Bad.” Ava stumbled over her words, unsure of how to verbalise her thoughts. 

“You’re amazing, Ava.” Beatrice concluded, pulling the stuttering girl in closer. 

“I’m amazing? You’re amazing! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you’re a badass.” Ava enthused as she remembered Beatrice speaking with Adriel, although she tried to ignore the trickle of fear in the back of her mind. 

“There’s something you’re not saying.” Beatrice was nothing, if not perceptive.

“I…” Ava was caught off guard. “You scared him. Nothing  _ ever  _ scares him. When you spoke to him… You didn’t seem like you. Even if we win the battle, if you lose yourself along the way, we’ve lost the war.”

“He deserves it.” Beatrice exhaled, finding herself once again surprised at Ava’s analysis of a situation. 

“I’m not saying he doesn’t! I’m just saying… I was scared for you. Of you, even. Of what you are capable of when angry.”

“Ava, he almost killed you. Multiple times! Not to mention all of the time he spent mucking about in your mind! Seeing how badly he hurt you… It makes me feel outside of myself. Cold and hollow, but powerful, like I can do anything.” Beatrice admitted. 

“I’m just… I don’t know. I’m sorry.” Ava apologised, gently, as she curled into Beatrice’s chest.

“Don’t apologise. I understand where you’re coming from.” Beatrice calmed down as Ava pressed into her. “If I lost you, I would lose myself, too.” 

“I feel the same about you. I guess that’s what love is, though.” Ava surmised, almost casually. 

“It’s intense.” Beatrice felt like her heart would explode sometimes, it was so full of emotion.

“ _ In-tents,  _ you mean.” Ava chuckled softly. 

“Bold joke for someone who doesn’t know how to set up a tent.” Beatrice laughed.

“Maybe one day this beautiful girl I know will teach me.” Ava looked up at Beatrice with a glint in her eyes. 

“Maybe. You’ll have to introduce me to this girl.” 

“Beatrice! It’s you.” 

“I know, Ava, but I can make jokes too.”

“That you can.” Ava wiggled around in the bed, getting more comfortable. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Beatrice replied. Ava was asleep a minute later and Beatrice was quick to follow. It had been a long day. 

Lilith had managed to hold her emotions together during dinner, but the lonely evening afterwards had brought out her turmoil. With shaking hands, she grabbed her desk, pulling it away from the wall and slamming it against the floor. It smashed with a satisfyingly loud noise. Lilith thought she heard herself scream, although she wasn’t sure. Next came the bed, from which she ripped the blankets and sheets, throwing them to the floor. A haunting laugh filled her throat as the sheer panic set in.

Taking pause, Lilith surveyed the mess she had created. None of it had made her feel any better. Pacing back and forth, her breath in her ears, she felt trapped within the cold stone of her room. She threw a fist into the wall, then another, desperate to replace the pain in her heart with something more physical. Blood ran down her arms, her knuckles bruised, before she stopped. This hadn’t helped. 

After the day she had, Lilith didn’t have the energy to teleport outside. Instead, she walked, slightly off balance, like a drunk. Drops of blood left a trail behind her, but she didn’t notice nor care. In the cool evening breeze, Lilith felt like she could finally get an entire breath in, although it was a small comfort. Escaping the confines of her room removed one of the distractions that had been keeping her from  _ feeling  _ in the first place. 

“Lilith?” Camila approached the door, which had been left slightly ajar. For Lilith, this was highly unusual behaviour. When Camila pushed the door open all the way, she gasped. The room was ransacked, completely trashed. It looked as though everything had been turned upside down. About to turn around and walk away, Camila noticed the dark spots of blood that littered the floor. It took Camila all of a minute to track Lilith down, her grey hair glowing reflecting moonlight in the inky darkness. 

Lilith paced through the damp grass, her feet bare, since she didn’t bother to put shoes on as she ran out. She paused, suddenly, hearing a noise from behind.

“Lilith, please.” Camila whispered, slowly stepping forward, closing the distance between them. Lilith didn’t answer, instead, she watched Camila wordlessly. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Camila said as she pulled Lilith’s shaking body into her own. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“Camila… I…” Lilith mumbled, sinking to her knees, overwhelmed. 

“I know, I know. It’s okay.” Camila didn’t try to reason with her or discuss what she was feeling at length. Instead, she was content to be the calm, comforting presence that Lilith needed. 

A sob escaped her body, heavily wracking her aching body. Another, then another each echoed in the empty field. Gently, Camila held her as she cried, resolute and unmoving. Time seemed to flow around them, losing meaning as they held one another in the dark. Eventually, the sobs began to slow, and Lilith started to feel as though she may be able to function once more. 

“Come on, let’s go inside.” Camila took Lilith’s hands in her own, surveying the damage that the stone walls had done. “We’ll clean this up, first.”

“I’m sorry.” Lilith choked out, feeling both embarrassed and grateful.

“Don’t apologise, it’s okay.” Camila whispered as she guided Lilith towards the building. 

In the infirmary, which was thankfully empty that night, Camila tended to Lilith’s swollen and bloodied knuckles. With care, she cleaned the open wounds, even more gently than she would have normally. As she wrapped them up, Lilith finally spoke in a full sentence, surprising them both.

“I don’t want to go to sleep yet… I don’t know if I  _ can  _ sleep right now.” Lilith admitted, feeling ashamed at her weakness.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to. I’ll stay up with you, if you want…” 

“I would like that.” 

“Me too.” Camila smiled as she finished dressing Lilith’s wounds. “Good as new. Next time, maybe pick a softer target.”

A few minutes later, they were both in the massive kitchen of Cat’s Cradle. Once mealtimes were over, the kitchen was empty, and Camila was free to use them as she saw fit. This wasn’t a privilege that all sister warriors were privy to, but Mother Superion had a soft spot for Camila. She also had a soft spot for chocolate chip cookies, but who doesn’t? 

Without speaking, Camila guided Lilith into a chair next to the counter. Then, she pulled several mixing bowls from the cabinet. She gave the largest, metal bowl a dramatic spin as she worked. 

“What should we bake tonight?” Camila asked, genuinely wanting Lilith’s opinion.

“Um…” Lilith hadn’t spent much time in the kitchen, her youth had been occupied primarily with fighting and study. “Something that tastes good? That’s stupid, everything you make is delicious.”

“Something that tastes good… You’ve given me a lot to work with here.” Camila smiled as she floated around the kitchen, gathering ingredients. Lilith knew what she was doing, trying to distract her, but she didn’t care. Everything Camila did came from such a kind place that her goodness was almost infectious. Beyond that, she wasn’t wearing her habit and Lilith couldn’t help but admire her face. 

“Weigh out three hundred grams of flour for me, will you?” Camila passed her a bowl, a kitchen scale, a measuring cup, and a large bowl. The sudden command rang in Lilith’s head, shaking her from her thoughts. 

“Yes ma’am.” Lilith gave her a salute, unable to suppress a laugh. 

After several minutes of mixing, pouring, and the like, there were several trays of cupcakes in the oven. As the delicious smell of chocolate cake filled the air, Camila knew this was Lilith’s favourite, even though she’d never told her explicitly.

“So… You kissed me.” Lilith mentioned, timidly, as she stirred the ingredients of her frosting together. 

“I did.” Camila froze. Part of her had decided that it hadn’t really happened, that she had imagined it. Hearing Lilith mention it, however, had shattered the illusion. 

“In front of our friends.” Lilith could see the effect her words were having on Camila, as her face grew redder by the second. While she genuinely wanted to discuss it, Camila’s flustered reactions were too cute to resist. 

“Yes. You should have heard Mary going on about it in the car.” Camila smiled as her ears burned. 

“I can only imagine.” Lilith didn’t continue talking immediately, instead opting to watch Camila squirm as she failed to maintain her composure. 

“I didn’t know if I would ever see you again… If… If… He…” Camila spoke way too quickly, her words getting jumbled up.

“I know what you mean.” Lilith looked up from her frosting, finally, to meet Camila’s panicked eyes. “It was nice.” 

“It… Was?” The relief on Camila’s face was almost audible. 

“It was.” Lilith stopped stirring and grabbed one of Camila’s hands, ignoring the pain that shot through her knuckles. 

“You’re getting sugar all over me.” Camila laughed, as Lilith pulled away her sugar-covered hand. 

“My bad…” Lilith replied with a devilish grin, before scooped up a handful of frosting and flinging it at Camila. 

“Lilith!” She shouted, laughing even harder, as she returned the favour. 

The oven timer went off, just before a full blown food fight erupted between the two of them. With a shared chuckle, Camila pulled their cupcakes from the oven. Even more overwhelming than before, the smell of chocolate filled the air. 

“Let’s try this again.” Camila said, gesturing to the frosting mess they had made. “We can leave a tray outside everyone’s doors. It will be a nice surprise for everyone to wake up to, after the day it’s been.”

“You’re a good person, Camila.” Lilith whispered, as she wiped the counters clean. 

“This is a convent, essentially. We’re all good people.” Camila retorted. Lilith was unsure if she was playing dumb or if she was genuinely unaware of how special she was. 

“Not like you. You’re different. Selfless.” Lilith was surprised at how easily the words came to her, normally, talking about emotions was like pulling teeth. 

“It’s hard, sometimes, being in the OCS. For all of us. The sisterhood, the friendships are fantastic and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But the violence, the death… That doesn’t get easier with time. I try to do what I can to make people’s days a little bit better…” Camila had never told anyone this, not in these words.

“You have a beautiful soul, Camila.” Lilith stated, simply. She was surprised that she wasn’t more nervous as she spoke. Even the next words she managed to say, without incident.

“I love you.”


	12. Job 7:13-14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each sister is lost in slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an odd chapter, no doubt. I promise this will have a happy ending.

_ Mary: _

“ _ Jesus! _ Shannon, you scared me!” Mary shouted, as Shannon doubled over in laughter, having just phased through the wall.

“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain!” Shannon chastised Mary between her giggles. 

“You’re lucky that you’re the halo bearer, one of these days I’ll shoot you out of instinct.” Mary scolded, although she was unable to fully hide her smile. 

“You know you love me.” Shannon teased, pulling Mary in closer. 

“I do.” Mary replied, her voice suddenly a whisper. They shared a kiss, as the halo warmed the entire room. In an odd, divided way, Mary was aware she was within a memory. Despite her awareness, she didn’t care. Getting to live through her happiest memories with Shannon once more, before she  _ changed,  _ was a blessing. 

“No more of this.” Shannon suddenly pulled away, with a smile. “We are going to be late. 

“Always business.” Mary laughed as Shannon phased through the wall. Heading for the door, Mary took a moment to be grateful for Shannon’s presence in her life. Opening the door, however, didn’t reveal the hallway that should normally be there. 

As the familiar walls of Cat’s Cradles dissolved around her, dry heat and dust filled her lungs. Ava walked ahead of her, as they traversed the mountains, a familiar memory from months ago. Suddenly, Ava turned around to speak.

“Mary, I appreciate you helping me, but I don’t know if I can do this.” She said, quietly. Mary had forgotten how much Ava had changed. 

“I don’t care what you think. I know you will and I know you can. End of story.” Mary spoke without thinking, as a passenger in her own memory. 

“Take your own advice.” Ava replied and Mary froze. This is what happened and that’s  _ not  _ Ava’s voice. It was Shannon’s. 

“What?” Mary was dumbfounded. 

“Take your own advice. What? You can dish it out but you can’t take it?” Shannon’s voice continued to come out of Ava’s body. The effect was disconcerting. Mary stared, unsure of what to say. 

“Step up, be a leader. Enough of this lone wolf routine, Mary. It’s time to be a part of a team.” 

“I thought I already had…” Mary looked down, ashamed. 

“You’ve improved, I’ll give you that. There’s more you  _ could  _ be doing.” Ava continued to tell her, in Shannon’s voice. 

“I’ll try.” 

“You’ll do more than try, you don’t have a choice. The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives.”

_ Camila: _

Camila hummed to herself as she baked, soft music swam through the air from a radio perched on the windowsill. The kitchen was sunny, long golden rays streamed through the stained glass windows, painting colourful patterns across the floor. Singing along to the song, she sifted flour into a mixing bowl, before adding the rest of the ingredients. It was simple, peaceful.

Into lightly greased cake pans, she poured the batter. Carefully, she slid them into the oven. Routine. As the song changed to the next, she danced around the kitchen, now gathering the ingredients for frosting. These were some of her favourite moments at Cat’s Cradle, even if they were spent in solitary. 

Each cake layer cooled on a wire rack as she cleaned up the mess she had made, still humming along to the music. With practiced hands, once the cakes had cooled, she assembled her masterpiece. Each layer of cake was separated by a frosting layer, the work immaculately done. Camila took a moment to admire it, before delicately placing it into the fridge for later. 

Later, Camila found herself in the cheerful presence of her sisters, gathered around the table for dinner. 

“That’s a beautiful cake, Camila!” Ava enthused, always a big fan of baked goods. 

“Agreed, well done.” Beatrice agreed, much more subdued. 

“Everything you make is fantastic and I’m more than happy to eat it.” Mary garnered a laugh with her words. 

Lilith stood behind her, with a tender hand on Camila’s lower back. “It’s beautiful, just like you.” Camila felt herself blush at the words. 

“Hopefully the inside looks as good as -” Camila abruptly stopped speaking as she cut the cake, upon realising that maggots were spilling out from the insides.

Her sisters vanished from the table and the room around her went dark. Camila was suddenly alone, save for the bugs that swarmed the table. 

“I don’t understand…” She whispered, as she desperately willed her eyes to see through the impenetrable darkness. 

“Drop the housewife act, you’re not innocent. You’re a killer, just like the rest of them.” A deep voice spoke, shaking the room. Looking down at her hands, they were slick and red, coated with blood. 

_ Lilith: _

Lilith couldn’t tell what was louder as she ran. Her footsteps echoing through the metal halls or the pounding of her heart, which hammered against her rib cage. Disjointed bodies of the security team chased her through ArqTech’s basement level. As they pursued her, they howled, an inhuman call.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to kill you!” Lilith bawled as she pelted through the halls, trying every door. None of them would open, though, leaving her trapped. Finally, breathless, she pulled a door open, separating herself from the dead. 

“Lilith, how nice to see you.” Adriel spoke in a measured tone. Lilith stared at him, still in his prison, as she leaned against the back of the door. 

“Adriel…” Her voice felt hollow. 

“You should work on forgiving yourself.” He smiled as he spoke. 

“Why should I listen to you? You’re literally evil incarnate.” Lilith could barely hear herself speak over the pounding of blood in her ears. 

“Am I? This is a dream, so technically, I’m you.” His words seemed to hang in the air. Lilith felt taken aback by the realisation, but at the same time, she had known this wasn’t real the entire time. 

“It’s still a cavalier suggestion.” She whispered, wondering if she would ever find peace again. 

“You didn’t seem to feel so remorseful when you tried to kill Ava.” Adriel spoke calmly. Without warning, his form began to shake, morphing into Lilith. She was now looking at herself, mirrored within Adriel’s prison. 

“That’s different… I’m different now.” She said, to herself. 

“Are you?” The  _ other  _ Lilith asked, before laughing maniacally. 

“I think so…” Lilith looked down, suddenly less sure than she had been a moment ago. 

“You don’t sound so sure.” 

“I’m not.”

Lilith looked up again after she spoke, but her surroundings had changed. She was back at Cat’s Cradle, in the garden. Everything was  _ wrong,  _ she noticed, as she took in her surroundings. The garden was hopelessly overgrown, the buildings still. It was unmistakably empty. 

“Why?” She breathed.

_ Beatrice: _

“Please  _ God,  _ no…” Beatrice whispered between sobs, as she held Ava’s broken body in her arms. Blood streamed Ava’s wounds, yet the halo did nothing. It seemed dormant. Several hands grabbed her shoulders, trying to pull her away from Ava. From Ava’s  _ body.  _ Beatrice felt a scream escape her.

“No, no!” Beatrice shouted, as her sisters tried to drag her away. With her yells, they dissolved, floating away into the ether. As suddenly as they appeared, a golden glow grew, emanating from Ava.

“Beatrice?” She gasped, her voice broken. She hadn’t yet opened her eyes.

“I’m here.” Beatrice replied, as tears stung her face.

“Who?!” Ava, despite being mortally wounded, flew to a standing position, her face contorted with fear. “Who are you?!”

“Ava, it’s me.” Beatrice took a step forward, extending a hand towards Ava. 

“Get back!” Ava fumbled backwards, tripping awkwardly over the bodies that littered the ground. “Whatever you are, stay back!” The fear in Ava’s voice was palpable. 

“I don’t understand…” Beatrice mumbled.

Cold water took her breath away, as she washed her face. It was an early morning in Cat’s Cradle, a weekend, but she had risen for training anyhow. After drying her face, Beatrice looked in the mirror, only to be shocked again. Timidly, she reached for her reflection, tracing her features against the glass. She didn’t recognise herself. 

“Who am I?” She wondered aloud, not expecting an answer. 

“You’re dangerous, a trained killer.” Mother Superion appeared behind Beatrice, a haunted reflection in the mirror. When Beatrice whipped around, however, she was gone again. 

“I’m more than that.” Beatrice tried to hold onto what little confidence she had remaining. 

“Are you?” This time, the reflection that spoke to her was that of Jillian Salvius.

“I don’t know…” Beatrice felt defeated. Her knuckles were white from gripping the sink so tightly. 

“I strongly suggest you figure it out.” Dr. Salvius warned, before fizzling out of existence just as suddenly as she appeared. 

“I’ll try.” 

_ Ava: _

Sister Francis’s face hung over Ava’s as she woke up with a start. “ _ Jesus, fuck!”  _ Ava cried, at the shock of it. A hard slap knocked her head to the side and she tasted blood in her mouth. 

“Watch your mouth, demon child.” Sister Francis spit.

“That’s rich coming from you.” Ava retorted, trying to hide the panic that was rising in her chest. 

She couldn’t move, despite her best efforts. Ava couldn’t help but wonder if her months with the OCS, with the halo, had all been a figment of her imagination. Maybe she truly was insane, or it had all been a hyper realistic machination of her mind, a byproduct of her awful upbringing. Escapism, if you will. 

Ava closed her eyes, trying to force the thought out of her mind. It couldn’t be, she tried to reassure herself. The OCS  _ was  _ real. This was just a nightmare, some sick dream. She squeezed her eyes and focused, willing herself to wake up. Sickenly, she felt the bed turn underneath her as the ground fell away. 

Cold air bit at her cheeks as she reopened her eyes. Icy walls extended above her, expansive and massive.  _ Hell, of course.  _ Ava could have laughed. She may have been in  _ Hell  _ again, but at least she could walk. She took a moment to savour the feeling as she crossed the frozen ground. As she oddly expected, Adriel was pressed against the other side of a frozen wall. He watched her intently. 

“Hello, Adriel.” Ava greeted him surprisingly formally. Everything felt fake. 

“Ava, it’s nice to see you.” He smiled at her. It was a kind smile, leagues apart from the terrifying one he usually wore. 

“Do you need a hand?” Ava stuck her hand through the ice as though it was water. 

“Thank you.” Adriel took her hand, using it to pull himself from the frozen prison. 

“Anything for you.” Ava could feel an anger buried within her, although the artificial happiness of the dream state suppressed it within her. 

“You’re the best. I’m going to go kill your friends now.” Adriel whispered, even though his face remained kind. Before Ava could reply, he turned to water, flowing through her fingers and soaking the ground. 

Footsteps echoed behind her, so Ava turned quickly. Each of her sisters stood, looking sick, looking dead. 

“You’ve killed us all, Ava.” They spoke in threatening, terrifying unison. The words echoed across the cavern as Ava recoiled, trying to run away. It was like a sick cartoon, she ran and ran, yet she didn’t move. Her fake sisters pulled closer.

“You’ll die alone, just as you were meant to.” They chorused, once they had closed the gap. 

“No, I won’t! This isn’t real! It can’t be!” Ava cried, only half believing her words. Within the dream, the halo activated just in time, dropping Ava through the ice and into the unknown. 

  
  
  


With a hearty gasp, Ava sat bolt upright in bed, her shirt soaked with sweat. As she caught her breath, she looked at Beatrice who was still asleep next to her. Despite the calmness of sleep, Ava couldn’t help but think that Beatrice’s face looked more troubled that it usually did in slumber. As Ava tried to settle down, she gave Beatrice a quick and gentle kiss on the forehead. 

  
“ _ I’ll try  _ to be better. For you.”


	13. A New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice talk, Ava finds out about... Something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love lilshotgun, don't get me wrong. in this fic though, i just think mary isn't over shannon yet and not really ready to love. also i didn't plan this with camila and lilith getting together at all. sometimes, when you write, stuff happens that you don't plan. -\\_(o_o)_/-

“I didn’t sleep well last night.” Ava admitted, as she curled around Beatrice, lit by the early morning sun that creeped through the window. 

“Me neither…” Beatrice replied, although she was grateful for the warm cuddles that the morning brought. 

“I’m sorry…” Ava whispered as she brushed a stray strand of hair out of Beatrice’s face.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it though?” If I hadn’t had the stupid idea to free Adriel in the first place, which ended up letting him out, which caused… Well, a lot of problems as you know. Then, I was stupid  _ again,  _ freeing him a second time, and causing even more problems. Our lives, our sisters’ lives would be a lot easier if I wasn’t so  _ fucking  _ stupid.” Ava’s words were rushed and the outburst surprised them both. 

“Ava, stop.” Beatrice put a finger to Ava’s lips, trying to stem the accelerated flow of guilt. “None of these decisions were yours alone. If there were any guilt to be had, which I’m not convinced there is, it would be shared between us.”

“Still... I…” Ava began to argue before Beatrice cut her off.

“No arguments.” She concluded. Her tone was resolute. 

Ava pulled her closer, content to change the subject. After several minutes of quiet cuddling, Ava couldn’t help but ask.

“What is haunting you?”

“Haunting me? Ghosts aren’t real.” Beatrice knew what Ava was referring to, but she played dumb in her relutance to discuss it. 

“Okay. First of all, we fight  _ literal demons,  _ so I find your blasé dismissal of ghosts a little questionable. We’ll circle back to that later.” Ava sighed, before continuing. “Beatrice. I like to think that I know you pretty well by now. I can tell there’s something you’re not saying… I can see it in your eyes.”

Beatrice averted her gaze, a lame, last ditch effort to hide herself away from Ava. For all of Ava’s flaws, however, she wasn’t stupid. Recognising the ploy, she pulled Beatrice’s face back towards hers, reaffirming the eye contact between them. 

“I dreamed about what you said last night.” Beatrice whispered, realising that her fate was sealed. 

“What I said…” Ava looked faraway for a moment, recalling the conversation. “Oh…”

“Am I just a killer?” Beatrice turned onto her back as she asked, putting a few inches between her and Ava. 

“No, of course not! That’s not what I said!” Ava took a deep breath, before sitting up. “I was surprised because I’ve  _ never  _ seen such a darkness in you. Even when you’ve fought before, you were still  _ you.  _ I don’t know if this is making sense…” Ava pushed her hands through her hair. “You’re an amazing woman. You’re a badass, you’re a genius, you’re kind… But yesterday, it was like she was  _ gone.  _ Just for a moment but…”

“Enough, Ava. I get your point.” Beatrice’s voice had a slight edge to it and she didn’t sound convinced. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Ava turned away, her feet dangling over the edge of the bed. Mentally, Beatrice chastised herself for messing up this conversation, she hadn’t wanted to hurt Ava’s feelings, but the pain in the halo bearer’s voice was evident. 

“You didn’t… Ava please, turn around.” Beatrice requested and Ava acquiesced. “The thought of losing you makes me feel physically ill. Knowing what Adriel has put us through, you especially, makes me feel equally sick. I couldn’t just… I had to…” Beatrice choked on her words, unable to complete her thought.

“I understand.” Ava laid back down next to her. “I’m still sorry for what I said… I think if I lost you the halo would blow up half a city block.” Ava tried to joke, although it felt hollow. Instead of replying, Beatrice pulled her in tightly, back into the warm embrace of the bed. They spent several more minutes basking in this warmth, before Ava suddenly shouted. 

“Wait! We’re going to be late for training! Beatrice, what were you thinking?” Ava scrambled out of bed, haphazardly throwing training clothes and shoes around the room. 

“Ava, were you listening during our meeting yesterday?” Beatrice asked, her voice full of laughter.

“Uh… No? I was barely awake. Why? Why aren’t you getting ready? Why are you laughing?” Ava was frantically trying to find a pair of socks.

“We were granted ten days of leave. Mother Superion said it was  _ well overdue. _ ” Beatrice explained, although her mind was elsewhere. Ava had slept in only a t-shirt and underwear and her dancing around the room in a rush made her skin burn. 

“What?!” Ava looked dumbfounded as she stopped what she was doing. 

“Sorry, I should have asked you if you knew yesterday.” Beatrice whispered halfheartedly, still distracted by Ava’s body, made even more beautiful by the golden sunlight filtering through the window.

“What does leave in the OCS actually mean?” Ava asked as she crawled back into bed. “Do we still have to go to mass? Can we leave Cat’s Cradle and go places? If so, where can we go? Hypothetically, if I still wanted to train, could I?” Questions came tumbling from Ava’s mouth at hyperspeed. 

“Mass is optional, training is optional. Yes, you can leave if you want, but you need to provide notice to Mother Superion.” Beatrice calmly worked through Ava’s questions as they held one another. 

“We should do something fun!” Ava whispered, her mind already running through the different possibilities. 

“Define fun…”

“I’m not sure yet. Maybe Camila will help me plan something, since the rest of you guys are  _ boring _ .” Ava giggled as she spoke.

“Well, if I’m so  _ boring,  _ then tell me why you should get anymore morning cuddles.” Beatrice retorted, matching Ava’s smile, yet climbing out of bed. 

“No! Come back! I’m needy!” Ava reached after her, extending her arms comically from under the blanket. Beatrice laughed as she retrieved her clothes from Ava’s desk. Then, a pause. 

“What is it?” Ava wondered, quietly, as Beatrice stared at the habit in her hands. 

“I don’t want to wear it.” Beatrice replied. Her voice sounded constricted. 

“Do you… Sorry, I don’t know the rules, exactly. Do you have to?” Ava desperately tried to remember everything she knew about Catholicism, which granted, wasn’t much. 

“It’s not that cut and dry, I’m afraid.” Beatrice spoke quietly as she pulled her robes over her head. Then, she pulled her hair into a neat, tight bun.

“You look beautiful.” Ava whispered, as she looked at Beatrice with an unmistakable intensity. 

“Thank you, Ava.” Beatrice turned around, placing a quick kiss of Ava’s cheek. “I think I might spend some of this time off redefining my relationship with  _ God. _ ”

“Whatever you need, I’m there to help.” Ava replied, gently, understanding that this was a sensitive topic for Beatrice. It was also something she knew little about. 

Beatrice gave Ava a smile, before tossing her a pair of pants from the mostly empty dresser. Reluctantly, Ava pulled them on. The only thing motivating her to get out of bed was the rumbling in her stomach. Maybe, just maybe, the desire to be close to Beatrice also played a part in Ava’s motivations. 

“It seems as though Camila came by last night.” Beatrice noted as she swung the door open. 

“Huh?” Ava stepped forward, confused. Beatrice turned around, brandishing a large plate, stacked with cupcakes. At the sight, Ava’s eyes light up, an image Beatrice wished she could save forever. 

“There’s a note.” Beatrice observed, plucking it from the top, as she gently set the tray on Ava’s desk. 

“Will you read it to me?” Ava mumbled, her mouth already full of cupcakes, face smeared with frosting. Beatrice laughed. 

“Dear Ava (and Beatrice, we know you’re in there), here are some cupcakes. We thought it might be a nice surprise after everything. Love, Camila  _ and  _ Lilith.”

“They’ve been hanging out a lot lately. I’m glad they are friends.” Ava smiled. 

“Friends? I think they’re more than…” Beatrice trailed off, realising that Ava had been unconscious for  _ the kiss _ , as well as the conversation about it in the car. Ava stared at Beatrice.

“Are they…” Ava tried to think of a good word. “Together?” 

“I don’t know if they’d define it like that, at least not yet.” Beatrice paused for a moment. “Before Lilith took Adriel to ArqTech, Camila kissed her.”

“WHAT?!” Ava shouted, her excitement completely unbridled. Before Beatrice could respond, Ava was gone, running and phasing towards the dining room. 

“Who was going to tell me?!” Ava was on the edge of yelling, as Mary, Lilith, and Camila sat at their table, looking at Ava in confusion. Each of them looked tired.

“Tell you what?” Mary asked.

“That…” Ava points to Lilith, then to Camila. They exchange an awkward look, before Mary starts laughing. 

“Oh my  _ God. _ ” Mary swiped a tear from her cheek as she tried to get a deep breath in. 

“Ava. Camila and I are sort of…” Lilith didn’t continue. They hadn’t discussed the exact nature of their  _ relationship _ and Lilith felt as though it was becoming a little too real, a little too quickly. 

“Like you and Beatrice.” Camila concluded, just as Beatrice joined Ava.

“What about Beatrice?” She asked, curiously. It was rare that Beatrice would choose not to cover her head, especially at a meal, and she garnered a look from her sisters.

“We were just telling Ava about…  _ Us. _ ” Lilith finished her sentence, trying to ignore the warmth it made her feel.

“Well, don’t let me interrupt.” Beatrice chuckled as she wandered off to get a tray of food. Ava followed suit shortly afterwards. 

“Thank you for the cupcakes, Camila. They were delicious.” Ava thanked Camila once she had sat back down, with a tray full of non-cupcake breakfast. 

“Lilith helped too, but you’re welcome.” 

“Not really. Mostly I just made a mess and stood there.” Lilith added, as she squeezed Camila’s leg under the table.

“Thank you both.” Mary chimed in. “They were delicious.”

“Agreed, thank you.” Beatrice also voiced her gratitude.

“Okay, so did everyone else know about Camila and Lilith?” Ava asked, receiving a nod. “What about our leave?” 

“Man, Ava, you really were out of the loop.” Mary chuckled again. A surprisingly eventful breakfast almost made her forget her dream from the night before. 

“I’m gathering that. But what are we going to  _ do _ ?” Ava continued, looking around at each of her sisters. 

“What do you mean?” Lilith wondered. “About what?”

“Well, we haven’t had free time in a while… Or ever, really. We should do something fun! To celebrate!” Ava was obviously more excited than anyone else.

“I think you and I have very different ideas of fun.” Mary told her.

“That’s true, but…” Ava trailed off, trying to think of something that would please everyone. 

“I think I might have an idea.” Camila looked at Ava. “Do you want to meet me after breakfast to talk about it?” 

“Finally, someone gets it.” Ava was grateful that someone else seemed excited. 

“I can’t even imagine where this is going.” Beatrice muttered, her mind running through the possibilities. 

“Don’t imagine, don’t think about it.” Ava waved her hands. “It’s going to be  _ a surprise. _ ”

“Somehow, that’s worse.” Lilith said sardonically. 

“You are all haters.” Ava fake pouted as she ate her second breakfast. 


	14. As Nicki Minaj Requested

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A light, fluffy day at the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im super bored today, so if you're reading this, ask me literally anything in the comments. i promise i'll answer you :) <3

An hour's drive had taken the sisters, with varying degrees of reluctance, to a secluded beach. Sharp stone cliffs protruded from the shoreline, calming the surf. It was a weekday and far enough into shoulder season that they had the beach to themselves. A lucky break, surely, because Ava seemed to be always making a scene. 

“Wait.” Ava whispered, her eyes wide as they pulled into the tiny dirt lot. “Are you guys  _ allowed  _ to wear bathing suits? Are you allowed to swim? Is this a sin?”

“Honey, everything’s a sin if you actually read the bible.” Mary laughed as she opened the car door. 

“There aren't always hard and fast rules, if that’s what you’re asking.” Lilith offered, following Mary out of the vehicle. 

“Alright. I’m making a rule of the day. No talk about demons, religion, the OCS, or anything else. Okay? Today, we are just a fun group of  _ gals,  _ hanging out, going to the beach.” Camila commanded as she pulled a cooler out of the trunk.

“Once again, Camila reigns supreme as my favourite.” Ava muttered, retrieving another bag from the car.

“That stings.” Beatrice whispers to Ava, earning her a smile and a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“Oh, Ava. I got you something.” Mary dug through one of the bags, trying to hide the devilish grin on her face. Eventually, her arm re-emerged. She held up a pair of arm floaties, the kind they make for toddlers. 

“Thank you!” Ava plucked them from Mary’s hand with surprising enthusiasm. “I just don’t know if they will fit my massive guns.” She flexed, revealing  _ maybe  _ a  _ shadow  _ of a muscle. 

“It was supposed to be a prank. It’s not funny if you laugh too!” Mary closed the trunk as she spoke, turning towards the azure water. 

“You’ll have to try harder, next time!” Ava patted her back as they walked towards the beach together. “Hey, you know what would have been really funny? I wish I had thought of it sooner.”

“What?” Mary was genuinely curious what Ava was going to say, as was everyone else, who followed close behind. 

“Remember that time I fought the wraith demon, in the butcher’s shop?” Ava asked.

“You didn’t just fight him in a butcher’s shop… You beat the  _ ever-loving shit  _ out of him with different cuts of meat.” Mary replied, recalling the event with a smile. 

“I should have said  _ nice to meat you. _ ” Ava laughed as she told her joke, although no one else thought it was particularly funny. 

“Oh my  _ God. _ ” Mary put a hand to her face. 

“As much as I love the puns, and I do, you two are already breaking the  _ one rule _ I set for today!” Camila chastised them with a light heart. 

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll resume my silly teenager act.” Ava flipped her hair as she spoke. 

“What’s to resume?” Lilith asked with a grin.

“Bold roast, grandma.” Ava replied, gesturing to Lilith’s flowing grey hair. 

“Low blow…” Mary whispered. 

“Ava, I  _ will  _ drown you.” Lilith threatened, although it was completely empty and accompanied with a laugh. 

As they continued to roast each other, Beatrice put a hand on Camila’s shoulder, separating the two of them from the group by a couple of paces. 

“I’m proud of you.” Beatrice said quietly, with a kind smile. 

“I could say the same to you.” Camila replied.

“Camila.” Beatrice sighed. “You got thrown into this young, you hadn’t been with us that long before Shannon…” 

“I know. It was my first mission.” Camila looked down.

“I remember.” Beatrice felt the ocean breeze on her face as she spoke. “You’re a fantastic fighter and you have a kind soul. I’m happy that everything hasn’t… Taken that from you.”

“It seems like it might, sometimes.” Camila admitted.

“I understand. We’re all here for you, okay? Just like you are for us. It goes both ways, okay?”

Camila followed Beatrice’s graze towards their sisters. “Everything has changed, hasn’t it?” She asked, her tone sad. 

“Maybe not everything…” Beatrice whispered, as she watched Lilith and Ava try to push each other into the sand while Mary laughed. 

“Maybe…” Camila couldn’t help but laugh as she began walking again. 

The five of them sat in a semi-circle, facing the water, on a huge blanket that Lilith had  _ borrowed  _ from Cat’s Cradle. Camila had packed a massive cooler, full of more food than they could probably eat in a day. Knowing Ava, though, maybe it was just enough. Somehow, Mary had managed to bring along a case of beer, too, although no one knew where or when she had gotten it. 

“Are you ready to swim?” Beatrice asked Ava, after several minutes of sitting and talking in the sand.

“Well, I’ve already died once. What could go wrong?” Ava mutters, her excited nervousness palpable. 

“I doubt this will be that bad.” Beatrice stood up as she chuckled. With her usual grace, she pulled off the linen pants she had been wearing, revealing her surprisingly tan legs. A moment later, her white t-shirt was folded and tucked away. 

In just her navy blue bikini, she held a hand out to Ava’s, who’s mind didn’t seem to be working correctly anymore. She stared at Beatrice for several seconds, unable to move. Eventually the sound of everyone laughing snapped her out of her stupor and Ava stood up with an awkward cough. 

Following Beatrice’s lead, Ava stripped off her own clothes, revealing a matching blue bathing suit. “Matching bathing suits?” Mary laughed. “Couple goals.” The sarcasm in her voice was more than apparent. 

“This is Beatrice’s…” Ava suddenly felt self-conscious. “I don’t actually have a bathing suit.”

“Beatrice? Did you find a bathing suit you liked and just buy several of them?” Lilith asked, the humour in her tone evident. 

“Yes? Why not?” Beatrice didn’t see why this was so funny or weird. 

“If we are going to be spending more time out of the  _ habit,  _ a shopping trip is probably overdue.” Camila said, with a covert look towards Lilith.

“Speak for yourselves, my wardrobe is amazing.” Mary spoke up, gesturing to her all-black bathing suit cover-up. 

“Mary, no offense, but I was locked away for years and even I know that wearing all black to the beach is a fashion faux pas. Have you ever considered wearing a colour?” Ava smiled as she teased Mary. 

“Okay Beatrice, go let her drown please.” Mary replied, matching Ava’s tone. With a laugh, Beatrice took Ava’s hand and led her towards the water, explaining some basic safety tips as she went. 

“Hey Mary?” Camila asked. “I kind of agree with Ava about... Wearing a colour.” 

“Maybe we can get matching hawaiian shirts.” Mary gestured to Camila’s hawaiian shirt, which she had thought would be perfect for a day at the beach. Which it  _ was. _

Gently, Beatrice guided Ava into the calm surf, until the water lapped at their knees. Despite Ava’s best efforts to suppress how she felt, she couldn’t deny the fear she was habouring. 

“Ava? Are you alright?” Beatrice asked knowingly.

“I know I’ve faced much scarier stuff than this but…” Ava looked out at the vastness of the ocean. 

“You don’t need to feel ashamed for being scared. It’s normal. We’ll start slow.” Beatrice smiled as she held Ava’s hand, a beautifully reassuring gesture. 

Beatrice patiently demonstrated basic strokes, as Ava stood in the shallow water, watching intently. After several minutes of detailed instruction, Beatrice rejoined Ava.

“Are you ready to try for yourself? I’ll be right next to you the entire time.”

“I’m ready.” Ava nodded, although she maintained a death grip on Beatrice’s wrist. 

“Try to stay calm. Panicking and thrashing about are some of the worst things you can do in the water.” Beatrice explained as the water level rose to their chests.

“Calm. Got it.” Ava replied, looking anything but.

“Calm.” Beatrice echoed, trying to make an impression. Surprisingly, for all of Ava’s fear, she picked up swimming quickly. Within two hours, she could move around in the waves with confidence. Obviously, she still had a long way to go, but it was impressive for a single day.

“Call the Olympics, a new champion has come to town!” Ava yelled as she walked back towards her friends, posing dramatically as seawater dripped from her hair. 

“It went well, I take it?” Lilith wondered with a smile, genuinely happy to see Ava  _ not  _ suffering, for once. 

“It did!” Ava’s grin was infectious. 

“Good job, Ava.” Camila enthused as she handed her a beach towel. 

“How did she actually do, Beatrice?” Mary asked as Beatrice joined them shortly after Ava had. 

“Surprisingly well, truly.” Beatrice smiled and Camila handed her a towel as well. 

“Like I said,  _ Olympic champion. _ ” Ava repeated herself. 

Beatrice sat down on the blanket, content with the sun’s warmth drying her skin. Ava quickly joined her and the halo provided a second source of warm light. Staring at it, Beatrice felt lost in thought as she remembered their journeys together. She was vaguely aware of conversation and laughter happening around her, although she was deaf to it. Instead, she gently traced the scar that Adriel left on Ava’s shoulder with her fingers, so lightly that Ava barely felt it. Oddly enough, the halo reacted to her touch. 

“Beatrice? Are you done playing light up with the halo? Do you want to eat?” Camila asked her as she held out a sandwich. 

“What?” Beatrice didn’t hear anything that was said, although she gratefully took the food, only now realising how hungry she was. 

“Welcome back.” Mary laughed, knowing perhaps better than anyone, what Beatrice felt. 

“So it was a rave, right? Chanel invited me and it was on an  _ island.  _ Not only that, but it used to be a prison.” Ava was telling Lilith, who seemed surprisingly interested, about the rave she attended before she had joined the Order. 

“A prison?” Camila chimed in, her attention now fully turned towards the story.

“Yeah, in the olden days. Like, the 1800’s.” Ava said this with confidence and no one sought to correct her.

“Anyways, it was insane. It was old and rusty inside, but it was cool to think about the history that happened there. Although I guess you guys probably think about that at Cat’s Cradle all the time…” Ava trailed off for a moment. Beatrice couldn’t help but admire her beauty as she spoke with such enthusiasm. Even without the glow of the halo, the sunlight seemed to focus on Ava more than anyone else, illuminating her angelically. 

“There were a lot of…” Ava shook her head then continued. “Sorry, Camila I broke the rules. There were some… Unsavoury activities taking place and I’ll just leave it at that and let all of you fill in the blanks. Plus, everyone was doing drugs and a lot of them.”

“Did you?” Mary wondered, having already seen the crazy of drunk Ava. 

“Uh…” Ava cautioned a glance behind her, at Beatrice, who she felt would disapprove. “I tried… I don’t know what it was. Everyone was doing it, they were these little pills…” 

“For future reference, taking random drugs from strangers might not be the safest course of action.” Beatrice mumbled, always the voice of reason.

“I agree.” Ava casually placed her hand on the inside of Beatrice bare leg, just above her knee. “That’s why you should always take drugs with your friends!” Ava added, earning a laugh from everyone.

Several hours passed and the sun sank low above the waves. Although the air was growing colder, none of the sisters wanted to leave yet. Without much discussion, Mary gathered a huge pile of driftwood from the around the beach and Camila stacked it into a neat pyramid. A quick snap of her claws later, and Lilith coaxed a fire from the wood. Thankfully, Beatrice had been thinking ahead; she had packed some warmer clothes for each of them. Gratefully, Ava pulled a hoodie over her sun kissed skin, savouring the comfort. 

If one were to observe the sisters from afar, their current setup would appear almost like that of a movie. A coming-of-age film, perhaps. Five attractive young women, gathered around a fire, talking and laughing. You’d never expect them to be trained killers or nuns who fight demons, that’s for sure. Regardless of their occupation, however, the scene would be beautiful. An orange-painted sky served as the backdrop for their silhouettes, with a dancing fire between them. 

“Ava, do you want a beer?” Mary asked, have already cracked one open for Lilith and Camila.

“I… Sure.” Ava said, curious at the very least. 

“Beatrice?” 

“Why not?” Beatrice responded. Mary passed each of them a cold one, after popping open the top. 

Unlike Beatrice, who always seemed refined, Ava scrunched up her face after the first sip, unsure if she hated it. “That’s… Maybe an acquired taste… Actually, I don’t hate it.”

“I’m inclined to say the same.” As usual, Beatrice shared Ava’s sentiment, although she expressed herself much more elegantly. 

“A toast,” Mary stated, holding her bottle skyward. “To all of us. It’s been some real  _ shit  _ lately, but we’re all still here and we’re all still breathing. And who knows, we might have another apocalypse on our hands tomorrow, but there’s  _ no one  _ I’d rather face it with than you lot.” Everyone’s bottles smashed together loudly, echoing across the beach. 

“I’d also like to say something…” Lilith began, without Mary’s confidence. “I’d like to apologise. To each of you. I wasn’t always a very good sister to any of you, I caused a lot of strife within our ranks, which is completely antithetical to the purpose of our Order. I let my family’s pressure cloud my judgement and that is unacceptable, I’m sorry. Especially to you, Ava.”

“Lilith, you’ve apologised to me multiple times already. I forgave you months ago.” Ava answered from Beatrice’s lap, where she was comfily perched. 

“I know but, -”

“No buts. You’ve saved my life a bunch of times since then, so we’re even. Anyway…” Ava’s voice grew quieter. “At the beginning I kind of understand where you were coming from now.” Beatrice’s entire body tightened at Ava’s admission.

“Honestly, same. Although I opted for the less permanent option of kicking you off a cliff.” Mary added, trying to ease the sudden gloom that sprung up. 

“Can we all agree that everyone is a loved and important member of our little team and call it a day? No more apologies.” As Camila spoke, she pressed herself closer to Lilith.

“Can I say some thank yous, instead?” Ava asked with an indecipherable tone. 

“You may.” Beatrice answered for Camila, curious as to what Ava would say. 

“Okay…” Ava took a deep breath before beginning and Beatrice took the opportunity to wrap her arms around the halo bearer. “Lilith, thank you for taking me to…  _ You know…  _ And making sure I made it out again. I know it was hard for you, yet you did it anyways. It’s funny, I used to be terrified of you… But now, I consider you one of my closest friends.” 

“You could continue being terrified if you wanted.” Lilith growled, although her tone was unmistakably light. She only joked to hide the tickle of tears that seemed imminent. 

“I still am, a little bit. Even if you do look like Dumbledore.” Ava jokes back, for the same reason. 

“Camila.” Ava started speaking before Lilith could respond. “You are a ray of sunshine and the kindest person I know. Before anyone says it, I am aware I don’t know very many people. But I’m not stupid, I know that Camila is special. She is, by far, the best of us and the glue that holds us together.” 

Unlike Lilith, Camila was unable to disguise her tears. They had started down her face from the moment that Ava first said her name. For the first time, in a while, they were tears of happiness. She smiled at Ava and rested her head on Lilith’s shoulder. Deep down, she could feel herself beginning to heal and accept everything that had happened. 

“Mary. Oh, Mary.” Ava chuckled through watery eyes. “You give off real… I don’t know, loose cannon or lone wolf vibes, but I know the truth. You’re a big softie. As much as you might want to go off and do your own thing, you care about the team. You care about the OCS. You care about  _ us. _ If it weren’t for you, I likely wouldn’t even be here…” Ava stopped talking, her throat felt painfully closed. 

“Don’t tell anyone, I have a mystique to uphold.” Mary whispered, apparently not immune to Ava’s words. 

“I won’t, don’t worry.” Ava laughed, remembering how intimidated she was by Mary when they first met. 

“Finally, Beatrice.” Ava turned around, although she was still wrapped around Beatrice. “Firstly, you are so insanely out of my league in every way, so thank you for even giving me the time of day.” Ava opened with a joke, trying to lighten the mood. Everyone laughed, sans Beatrice, who looked at Ava with a warm intensity. 

“Seriously though, you are  _ everything  _ to me. I feel so privileged every day to know that you are by my side, no matter what. You’re brilliant and kind and…” Ava wiped the tears from her eyes as she smiled. “I’m so lucky to know you. I’m thankful everyday that you’ve let me into your life and I’m careful…” She choked on her words before trying again. “Careful not to take a day for granted.”

Beatrice’s brown eyes filled with tears at Ava’s words and she was envious of the ease with which Ava expressed herself. She kissed Ava quickly, before whispering to her.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” The world seemed to fall away from them for a moment, as their eyes locked onto one another. 

“Okay, enough of these  _ emotions _ .” Mary stood up as she spoke, a slight slur in her voice. They had all been drinking after a long day in the sun and it became apparent that everyone was a little bit tipsy. 

“I have just the thing.” Camila rifled through her bag, as she too fought off the effects of the alcohol. After a couple seconds, she pulled a wireless speaker from her bag, as well as her phone. 

  
Music played across the empty beach as night fell. They danced around the fire, kicking sand into the air and singing along with the music. Everyone felt lighter than they had in ages, happier than they’d maybe  _ ever  _ been.


	15. A Crisis of Faith at Brunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sisters eat food and there's... I don't know, foreshadowing and shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the people who made legend of korra really didn't need to make kuvira that hot, but they DID.

After their happy day at the beach, everyone got a full night’s sleep. No nightmares, for once, for any of the sisters. Instead, everyone slept well into the late morning, missing breakfast, mass, and training entirely. Not that they were required to attend while on leave, but the departure from routine was slightly disarming. 

Beatrice turned to look at Ava, who by the change in her breathing, seemed to be waking up. For once, she looked well-rested, as the bags that become a commonplace feature under her eyes had faded considerably. In addition, her cheeks were flushed slightly, Beatrice couldn’t help but feel as though Ava looked considerably healthier than she had the day before. 

“What are you looking at, creeper?” Ava whispered as she awoke. 

“Even though your hair is… Interesting this morning… You still look beautiful.” Beatrice admitted, unwilling to hide how she felt. 

“You’re no slouch yourself.” Ava ran a hand across Beatrice’s cheek as she spoke. 

“You look like you slept well.” 

“I did, for once.” Ava sighed happily, pulling herself closer to Beatrice. “Did you?”

“Yes.” Beatrice answered simply, placing a quick kiss on Ava’s forehead. 

“Did you have fun last night?” Ava asked quietly.

“I did.” Beatrice answered honestly. There was something bothering her though, tugging at the end of her brain, that she couldn’t quite place. She filed it away, for the moment, hoping her brain would wake up more later. For now, she was content to lay alongside Ava, enjoying the rarity of a peaceful moment. 

“I’m glad. Thank you for teaching me how to swim.” 

“More practice is still in order, although I’m significantly less worried about you drowning, now.” Beatrice felt Ava laugh from within her cocoon of blankets.

“You shouldn’t have been too worried before, I can literally fly… Well, not fly, but float a bit.” Ava muttered. Secretly, she hated how Beatrice worried for her. Did she worry for Beatrice, of course. But deep down, she couldn’t shake the thought that she was a burden. 

“Of course. You really are  _ something. _ ” Beatrice gently combed her fingers through Ava’s hair, her voice reverent. 

“Beatrice.” Ava pulled her head up, her dark eyes meeting Beatrice’s. “I love you so much. I never thought… Well, I knew that…” She stuttered, before sighing and beginning again. “I never thought that I would get to experience  _ love  _ at all, being trapped in the orphanage but even…”

“I understand.” Beatrice interrupted Ava’s disjointed sentences. “I feel the same, albeit amongst different circumstances.” 

“I feel so lucky… When I’m with you.” Ava whispered. 

“Once again, Ava, I find myself envious of your innate ability to express exactly what you mean, without turmoil.”

“You’ll just have to try harder to free yourself from the bondage of high society.” Ava spoke in a poor imitation of Beatrice’s accent and formality.

“Are you saying I should speak more like you?” Beatrice smiled, barely able to suppress the laugh that was rising within her. 

“Erm… No. I like how you talk.” Ava replied, squirming away from Beatrice who was trying to tickle her under the blankets. Soon, she found her mark, and Ava’s squeals filled the room. 

Half an hour later, everyone was gathered in the kitchen, at one of the chef’s tables. It seemed as though Ava and Beatrice weren’t the only ones who were well rested, rather, everyone had gotten a hefty amount of sleep. Camila seemed to be the most awake of the group and she carried a pot of coffee to the table, returning a moment later with a small pitcher of cream and a bowl of sugar. 

“ _ Bless _ you, Camila.” Mary whispered as she gratefully poured the steaming coffee into a mug. 

“Seconded.” Beatrice mumbled, as she filled up her mug afterwards. Both of them drank their coffee black. 

“Umm… Ava? Are you serious right now?” Lilith questioned, a few minutes later, as Ava added  _ ten  _ spoonfuls of sugar to her already heavily creamed coffee.

“It’s gross otherwise, I don’t know how you guys drink it like that?” Ava gestured to Lilith’s coffee, also black. 

“I understand, Ava.” Camila stood behind her, pausing for a moment in her journey around the kitchen. Everyone suppressed a laugh at her words; Camila’s coffee preferences were far away from Ava’s diabetic disaster.

“Finally, someone gets it. Do you need help cooking breakfast… Lunch?” Ava asked, realising that it was now midday. 

“Sure, come on.” Camila headed towards the stove and prep tables, followed closely by Ava, who kept her  _ ‘coffee’ _ in hand. 

“You look happy, Beatrice.” Lilith observed, once Camila and Ava were out of earshot. 

“I am.” Beatrice was snapped back to reality by Lilith’s words, prior to them she had been watching Ava, her heart content. Lucky. 

“Who knew? All it would take to break the  _ mighty Beatrice  _ was a tornado of a woman with magic powers. We should have known!” Mary laughed, as did Lilith. Beatrice couldn’t help but smile. 

“I wouldn’t have expected it either…” Beatrice trailed off, her thoughts returning to Ava, and the thoughts that lay just outside of her consciousness. 

“I get what you mean.” Lilith whispered, her eyes following Camila around the kitchen. None of them were wearing their habits, not even Camila, who had remained the most devout throughout their journey. 

In the weeks and months since Adriel’s initial release, Beatrice, Camila, and Lilith had each wondered extensively about their vows. During their OCS training, as well as study of the scripture, they were taught that he was a  _ divine  _ being. Obviously, such was not the case in reality. It gave each of them pause, there were so many questions that were still left unanswered. 

What was the halo? If Adriel wasn’t an angel, what was he? Perhaps more pertinent, Adriel’s true origins made the Catholic roots of the OCS seem less critical to their success. Thousands of thoughts, hundreds of implications of this needed to be sorted through by each of the nuns. Though it was a complex web of thoughts, there was really only one that mattered. Was it necessary to be a nun  _ and  _ be a member of the OCS? It seemed Lilith had been right after all, there really was a  _ crisis of faith. _

“Gently crack each egg into the pan. Here, let me show you how to break the shell without getting any of the bits in the pan.” Camila demonstrated how to break an egg and it dropped in the pan with a satisfying sizzle.

“Okay....” Ava copied Camila’s movements, her face screwed up in concentration. 

“Good! Now, once they begin to brown along the edges, carefully flip them. Be gentle when you slide the spatula underneath, so you don’t break the yolk.”

“Is this okay?” Ava asked a moment later. Her voice and face were both serious; she was determined to get this right. 

“Perfect.” Camila said, after a glance at Ava’s work, before turning back to her own tasks. 

Shortly afterwards, an impressive spread covered the table. “Camila, be honest, how much help did Ava give you?” Mary wondered, giving Ava a friendly elbow as she spoke.

“More than I anticipated. She might be a good cook one day.” Camila replied, grinning at Ava. Lilith squeezed her hand underneath the table, causing a blush to spread across her face. 

“What should we do today?” Ava broke the silence after several minutes.

“I…” Lilith quickly realised she had no ideas and wished she hadn’t begun to speak, as everyone turned to look at her. “... Have no idea. My entire life has been consumed with religion and the OCS. Given some time off, I realise I have no idea what to do with myself.”

Beatrice looked at Lilith with curiosity as she spoke. Even a couple of months ago, Lilith would never have divulged such a closely held truth in a casual setting like this, or at all. With a start, however, Beatrice realised the same was true of her. 

“I feel the same way.” Beatrice admitted, awash in her thoughts. 

“You guys need hobbies.” Mary muttered.

“What are you going to do, Mary?” Ava looked at her intently.

“I don’t know. Ride around on my motorcycle, shoot guns, drink whiskey? You know, girl stuff.” Mary tries to joke, unwilling to reveal her true plans for the day. She wanted to spend time with Shannon, or at least, at her grave. Mary had a lot she wanted to say, although she was on the fence about believing in Shannon’s ability to hear her from beyond. 

Ava leaned back in her seat, feeling content and warm. She felt calmer than she had in awhile, despite the darker thoughts that swam through her mind. Oddly, she was at peace with her decision, although she knew she couldn’t reveal her plans yet. Or at all. If she could speak with Adriel without anyone knowing, she would be keeping them safe from risk. Better yet, she could find answers to the questions that plagued them all. 


	16. The Grey Area

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nuns of the group struggle to reconcile their vows with their actions and Ava teeters on the edge of a dangerous mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is legit (i think) the worst chapter ive written yet

Beatrice spent the afternoon alone, in the library. Oddly, she felt comfortable, despite her inner turmoil. When she first came to Cat’s Cradle, before she had developed any friendships, she had spent hours in the library. It was almost a second home to her within these walls. As the afternoon sun creeped through the windows, she barely looked up, distracted by the dusty volumes that laid around her. 

Closest to her lay a bible, a gift from her parents years ago. Beatrice’s mind wandered as she stared at it, looking at the worn cover and annotated pages. Frustratedly, she rifled through the pages. She had already known that there wasn’t anything about nuns in the bible - but for some reason, she had still expected to find some type of guidance within the thin pages. With tears in her eyes, Beatrice read a passage that she had underlined years ago, although the pain felt fresh. 

_ 1 Corinthians 6:9-11: Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. _

Beatrice remembered the first time she had read this passage; it was her first semester at boarding school. With a clear lack of subtlety, her father had marked the page with a post-it note, for her to discover later. Hot tears stung her eyes now, just as they did then. Despite the condemnation from the bible, however, Beatrice felt conflicted. Being with Ava felt more holy than anything in her life ever had; Ava was an essential part of her being. 

Confusion wasn’t something Beatrice was used to feeling. She was undoubtedly brilliant, shockingly so, and she was used to solving problems with efficient ease. The conflict that she felt within, however, had been a problem that haunted her for years. Realistically, Beatrice knew that she would have to face it eventually, although the realisation didn’t make anything easier. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment, as the last of her tears fell away. Was this a problem she couldn’t solve? The prospect of it was intimidating, to say the least. 

A knock at the door interrupted Beatrice’s work. She looked up, surprised to see Lilith standing in the doorway. 

“It seems I’m not the only one struggling with…” Lilith looked down, although Beatrice understood exactly what she meant. 

“It looks that way.” Beatrice gestured towards the empty seats around her. “Do you want to join me?” 

Lilith sat silently, scanning the books that coated the table. “You’ve been busy.”

“It appears so.”

“Any breakthroughs yet?” Lilith wondered. It would have been easy to assume that she was being sarcastic, but one look at her drawn face confirmed the seriousness of the question. 

“Not really.” Beatrice admitted, her frustration obvious. Neither of them realised Camila had entered the room as they had been conversing. 

“Well, you know what they say.” She walked in, finally announcing her presence. “With enough eyes, all bugs are shallow.”

“What?” Lilith looked at her like she was crazy. 

“It’s something people say in programming. Like, computers.” Camila sighed, joining them at the table. “Nevermind. Just, I’m here to help, okay?”

“I’m glad to have you. Both of you.” Beatrice offered them a warm smile. Her subtext was clear. Not only was she glad to have them at the moment, but with everything that had happened, she was glad they were both still alive. 

After several minutes of quiet reading and contemplation, Camila broke the silence with a question. “If Adriel isn’t divine, what  _ is  _ he?”

“The OCS is built on lies.” Beatrice whispered, her eyes darting around the room as she struggled to contain her panic. 

“Wooooooo!!” Ava yelled within her helmet, from the back of Mary’s motorcycle as they sped along the ocean road. From within her own helmet, Mary laughed, more amused than annoyed. Ava loved the feeling, the wind and the speed, it was something that she never dreamed she would be able to experience. 

Mary maneuvered the vehicle with unmatched grace, away from the ocean and up a winding hill. After several tight twists and turns, they reached a small plateau. A rough, wooden fence lined the edge, overlooking a phenomenally gorgeous view of the ocean. The noise of the engine cut off and Ava climbed from the back of the bike, removing her helmet. Wordlessly, she took in the view, her mouth ajar. 

“I used to come here…” Mary joined Ava. “With Shannon.” Ava froze at her words, not immediately sure how to respond. It took her a few moments before she could force out a sentence. 

“I’m sorry, Mary. I can’t imagine… I just…” Ava shook her head, trying to force her way to a clearer mind. “I’m sorry you lost her and got stuck with me.”

Mary looked at Ava for a moment, fighting the sadness that threatened to rise from her chest. “I definitely wasn’t your biggest fan, at first.” Mary paused to laugh for a moment. “But I always believed in you, before anyone else did.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just… Maybe I’m just stubborn and I forced you along for the ride. Maybe I thought it’s what Shannon would have wanted. Maybe… Maybe it doesn’t even matter. We’re all here now, yourself included, and that’s what really matters.”

Ava didn’t respond, instead, she let Mary’s words sink in. She thought of all the times that the halo had spurred her into action and the things that it had  _ told  _ her. 

“Mary?” Ava whispered, after minutes of silence, quiet admiration of the view. 

“Yes?”

“I can hear her sometimes. Or sense her, maybe that’s a better way to say it. Within the halo.” Ava spoke in sentence fragments, although Mary understood what she was saying. 

“Ava, I need to be honest with you about something…” Mary looked down, unsurprised at Ava’s words. 

“Are you okay?” Ava looked at Mary, taken aback by her continued openness. 

“I avoided you, a lot, after… Well, you know.” Mary felt odd finally admitting this to Ava. 

“I thought…” Ava trailed off, her memories felt corrupted with darkness.

“You reminded me so much of  _ her.  _ I know you were going through some really hard stuff… I feel guilty for not being there to help you. In your determination, or fear, I don’t know… There was so much of Shannon surrounding you… I just couldn’t do it. I was weak.” Mary’s voice cracked as she spoke, unable to continue holding back her tears. 

“Mary… I don’t blame you.” Ava gave Mary a long, tight hug before she continued to speak. “I understand.”

“It wasn’t fair though -”

“None of this has been fair.” Ava interrupted. 

“Maybe some of Beatrice’s wisdom has finally rubbed off on you.” Mary forced a laugh.

“Hey!” Ava gave her a gentle slap on the arm. “I have my own wisdom, thank you very much.”

“Hmm… That remains to be seen.”

“And here I thought you finally liked me.” Ava pouted, with an air of drama. Mary’s face suddenly softened. 

“I do like you, Ava. I love you.” Mary put an arm over Ava’s shoulders. “But if you think that means I’m going to stop making fun of you…” Mary laughed. “Then you’d be wrong.”

“Okay, okay.” Ava felt warm and happy. She never dreamed she would have a friend, let alone an entire group of them. “But remember, I’m still winning in the prank war.”

“For now.” Mary mumbled, as she climbed back onto the motorcycle. 

“Forever!” Ava cried, as she pulled the helmet back on. 

One of the older books slammed against the wall, a cloud of dust emerging from it. Beatrice didn’t realise she had gotten so angry, yet the momentary lapse of decorum didn’t make her feel any better. 

“Bea…” Camila stood from her chair, reaching out for Beatrice’s hand.

“Why isn’t there an answer to this?!” Beatrice pulled away from Camila, her voice teetering on the edge of a shout. “Why am I even here?” 

“Do you want to be here?” Lilith asked, still seated at the table, although she had rotated her chair to face Beatrice. 

“Yes, I do.” Her shoulders slumped and she felt defeated. “I can’t imagine doing anything else.”

“You don’t  _ have  _ to be a nun to stay within the OCS, you know.” Camila whispered as she crept closer to a shaking Beatrice. 

“It’s all I’ve ever known…” Beatrice looked down, ashamed to be showing her weakness.

“I know how you feel. Granted, you and I didn’t take the same path here, but we were both forced down it all the same.” Lilith muttered, her voice unreadable. 

“I’m sorry…” Beatrice met Lilith’s eyes. 

“Don’t apologise. With everything… It was only a matter of time before we would have to weigh our commitments to the church against the pile of changes we’ve gone through.”

“Lilith…” Beatrice began, only to be cut short.

“Enough, Beatrice. Sometimes your brilliance only makes your problems harder to solve. You love it here, you love Ava, you love all of us. You’re a fantastic fighter and you have an incredibly sharp mind. This is your home, more than anywhere else. Nun or not, these are the realities that  _ won’t  _ change.” Lilith spoke sharply, although her words came from a place of love. 

“I don’t know if I can accept that…” Beatrice sighed. “I still have so many thoughts, so many questions, so many  _ conflicts. _ ”

“Bea.” Camila grabbed her arm and led her back to the table. “Sometimes, there isn’t an easy answer. This isn’t a math problem. The Church has so many rules, many of which are contradictory in themselves. If you try to find a place among them, you never will.”

“At worst, I’m part demon. At best, I’m marked by the darkness of  _ Hell.  _ I think the only way I can continue fighting with the OCS, which is all I want, I need to embrace the chaos. It seems this might be what you need to do, as well.”

“Embrace the chaos…” Beatrice let the words sink in and weighed the concept in her heart. 

“This isn’t a black and white issue.” Camila was speaking to herself as much as she was to her friends. “We’ve all sinned since we’ve taken our vows. Probably dozens of times, if we’re being honest. Yet we’ve also saved the world multiple times and killed demons.”

“Does that balance it out?” Lilith asked, unsure of where Camila was going with her speech. 

“That’s not our call to make. There is no human that exists, or has ever existed, that has the power to weigh each of our sins and good deeds, to decide our fate. That power lies solely in the hands of the  _ Lord. _ ”

“I’ve said this before, but Camila, you are wise beyond your years.” Beatrice felt slightly lighter.

“Bea? Have you considered that some of your reluctance and stress about your faith may stem from something…” Camila hesitated, unsure if her words were going to be well received. “From events that shaped you at a much younger age. 

Beatrice stared at Camila, her face drawn. “We’re all a little…” She paused, before cracking a surprisingly big smile. “A little  _ fucked up _ , aren’t we?”

“Definitely. But if we’re fighting the good fight, does it matter?” Lilith asked, matching Beatrice’s grin. 

“The good fight.” Camila echoed, before pulling two of her best friends in for a slightly tearful hug. 

Later, in bed, Beatrice and Ava caught up, having spent the latter half of the day apart. “Mary took me on her motorcycle, which was  _ so cool _ ! I’m going to have to talk to Mother Superion about letting me get one.”

“That seems like a  _ great  _ idea.” Beatrice replied, sarcastically. 

“Mary and I also talked about Shannon.” Ava’s tone changed completely, catching Beatrice off-guard. Mary was probably the least open of any of them. 

“Really?”

“Yes. It was sad, but nice. I feel as though we understand each other much better now.”

“I’m glad for both of you.” Beatrice answered, unwilling to press Ava for more details. She would explain, or wouldn’t, when she was ready. 

“How about your day? What did you do?” Ava was full of enthusiasm.

“I…” Beatrice sighed quietly, awash in a mixture of emotions. “Lilith, Camila, and I had a long discussion about our vows.”

“And?” Ava gazed at Beatrice with fierce curiosity, knowing the stress Beatrice had been feeling about her faith lately. 

“I’m not sure. Everything is complicated.”

“Beatrice, you are the smartest person I know.”

“Perhaps, but… Well, sometimes it takes true intelligence to realise that there isn’t an answer to the questions you’re asking of yourself. Sometimes, you have to be okay with existing in the grey area.”

“I don’t understand…” Ava whispered, as she watched Beatrice desperately try to explain. 

“Camila explained it better, she’s always had a better mind for the abstract than I do. For right now, I’m content to let the answers I need find me. Wearing the habit or not wearing it doesn’t define my devotion to  _ God _ , my actions do. Regardless of my affiliations and their strength, I will continue to fight for the OCS… For the light.”

“You are a strong woman, Beatrice.” Ava said, her voice quiet in worship of Beatrice’s words. 

“Perhaps… I could say the same about you.”

“Do it then, I dare you.” Ava replied, her teasing tone unmistakably hungry.

Beatrice fell asleep almost immediately after the golden glow faded from the room, the rush of endorphins forcing her to realise the extent of her tiredness. As Ava dozed next to her, she dreamed of their day prior, of Ava, of the ocean. Beatrice remembered exactly how Ava felt in her lap, the closeness and the happiness shared between them. Her smile hurt her cheeks, even in the dreamlike memory of it all. 

She watched, tearfully joyful, as Ava thanked each of her sisters in turn. A tugging feeling nagged at her, edging along her subconscious. 

The halo burned painfully, forcing Ava from slumber, just as she knew it would.  _ How did I know it would? _ She didn’t stop to consider it, instead she silently swung her feet to the floor, careful to not disturb Beatrice. As quietly as she could, Ava crept through the dark halls of Cat’s Cradle, towards the office. Phasing through the wall, she retrieved the keys to one of the cars. 

Her hand ached from how tightly she was grasping the key ring. Ava pushed the anxiety she was feeling away, as she slowly pushed open the exterior door, taking care to keep it from creaking. Cool night air washed over her as she walked outside, a welcome relief against her warm skin. Crossing the courtyard was tense, if anyone happened to be looking out their windows, they would see Ava’s glowing silhouette creeping away. 

As Ava reached the car, surprisingly breathless, she was interrupted.

“Where  _ the actual fuck _ do you think you’re going?”

Beatrice awoke suddenly, cold, and gasping for air. “They were goodbyes!” She breathed, reaching for Ava, only to find the bed beside her empty. At the beach, Beatrice had been surprised and touched at the depth of Ava’s thank you’s to everyone. Only now, she realised, they seemed like final words more than anything. Ava’s last thoughts, a happy note to end on. Even the thought of it made Beatrice feel sick, like the ground was spinning beneath her.

  
“Maybe… It’s a coincidence.” She looked towards the other side of the bed, a clear indent where Ava  _ had  _ been. With a shaking hand, Beatrice reached out, the blankets were cold in her grasp. This only confirmed her fears, Ava had been gone for awhile. Trying to push the sickening anxiety out of her mind, Beatrice stood, quickly pulling on a pair of shoes. 


	17. Trust your Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several conversations (arguments?) occur and no one seems closer to any answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes, there isnt a clear and easy answer to inner turmoil. life's messy.

“Do you feel any better?” Camila asked Lilith as they lay together, after their long sojourn in the library. 

“No, but yes?” Lilith sighed. 

“I get what you mean.” Camila matched Lilith’s sigh. They both laid on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. Even the cheerful surrounds of Camila’s room did little to lighten the load of their thoughts. 

“You’re a good person.” Camila her after several minutes of silent contemplation. 

“I don’t know if that’s true…” Lilith whispered, not meeting Camila’s eyes. 

“Look at me.” Camila commanded. After a deep breath, Lilith obliged. 

“You’re a good person.” Camila spoke slowly, while she held Lilith’s face. “I’ll just believe it extra, until you do. Okay?”

Lilith couldn’t help but smile, the determination in Camila’s face was too cute to ignore. Sitting up and twisting in an impossibly fast motion, Lilith straddled Camila’s smaller body. Before Camila could protest, she pinned her hands to the bed. 

“Would a good person do this?” Lilith asked, after placing several kisses on Camila’s face, lips, and neck. 

“I… I’d like to think so.” Camila whispered, in a sleepy daze. Lilith rolled back to her side of the bed, an even bigger smile spreading across her face. 

“There’s a huge botanic garden, about an hour’s drive away. They are putting on a big exhibit this weekend. Do you… I know it’s not your thing… But would you want to go with me?” Camila wondered quietly, still having trouble stringing a full thought together. 

“I’d love to.” Lilith responded immediately. While she didn’t share the same interest in plants, she would never turn down an invitation from Camila. 

“It’s a date, then.”

“I might need to find something to wear…” Lilith realised, thinking of her closet that was most full of training clothes and traditional attire. 

“I can lend you something.” Camila offered. Lilith looked at Camila, then back at herself, barely suppressing a laugh. 

“I’m pretty sure anything you had would be quite short on me.” 

“That’s true. I’m pretty sure all of us could use some clothes, especially if we are going to be spending more time out of the  _ habit. _ ” Camila took a moment to admire Lilith’s sharp features. “We might have to go  _ shopping. _ ” She said the last word with a devilishly mischievous smile.

“Shopping.” Lilith turned the word around in her mind. “Sounds like… An  _ event. _ ”

“With Ava, everything is an event. Without intervention, I’m pretty sure her wardrobe would be entirely costumes.” Camila laughed at the memory of Ava in her beloved Spiderman costume. 

“Her and Beatrice make an odd couple, don’t they?” Lilith closed her eyes as she spoke, thinking of her friends. 

“They do. I think…” Camila paused in her nervousness. “I think the same could be said about us.”

“Are we a couple?” Lilith asked, trying to mask the evil grin she had.

“We… I.. Have…” Camila stuttered, before looking at Lilith’s face. “You’re a jerk!” She exclaimed, slapping Lilith with one of her pillows. 

“I’m excited for our  _ date. _ ” Lilith admitted, after Camila was done. 

“Me too.”

“Where  _ the actual fuck _ do you think you’re going?” Mary asked, suddenly appearing from the side of the vehicle.

“I’m… Uh…” Ava flustered as she tried to think of a convincing lie. “Just going for a drive.”

“You’re a terrible liar. Give me the keys.” Mary held out a hand. Ava acquiesced without further intimidation needed. 

“Where are we going?” Ava asked timidly, a few minutes after Mary had forced her into the car. 

“Where  _ were  _ you going?” Mary responded, without taking her eyes from the road. 

“To see Adriel.” Ava admitted. She knew she was already in trouble, might as well be honest.

If Mary were anyone else, someone without years of training, she would’ve crashed the car at that moment. Instead, she pulled over, before turning her attention to the increasingly terrified halo bearer. 

“Why?” Mary wasn’t yelling, although her voice conveyed her anger easily. “What possible reason could you have? Were you just going to walk into ArqTech and ask to see him? In the middle of the night? Did you tell  _ anyone _ ?” 

Ava didn’t speak immediately, instead opting to let Mary’s words wash over her. In truth, her questions were valid, some of which Ava hadn’t really considered. Maybe she wasn’t quite the bastion of maturity that a halo bearer ought to be… Maybe she wasn’t even close. She felt the tips of her ears go red as shame burned within her. 

“He has  _ answers.  _ I know he does. Or, the halo does? Sometimes it’s hard to tell where my thoughts stop and the halo’s begin…” Ava muttered, as she shrunk away from Mary. 

“How do you know?” Mary wondered, the anger suddenly evaporating. 

“I just…” Ava thought for a moment, before realising she had no idea. “I just… do?” 

“Even if you’re right, which I’m not convinced of, why go alone? In the middle of the night? Without telling anyone?” Mary’s words were softer now.

“I… Don’t know. I just felt… Compelled.” Ava sounded faraway, as her thoughts wandered. “I wasn’t entirely… Myself.”

“Ava…” Mary was looking squarely at the halo bearer.

“Ava?!” Beatrice’s voice sounded restricted, her breaths laboured from her run through Cat’s Cradle. There was a car missing from the courtyard, she realised with a start. She doubled over, less from the exertion and more from the implications of the discovery. 

With quick, nervous steps, Beatrice paced around the courtyard, nervously running her hands through her hair. It was unlike her to not have a plan, a logical response, but when it came to Ava… When it came to Ava, Beatrice sometimes found her analytical mind totally overwhelmed in emotion. Not that this was a bad thing, necessarily, but she needed to  _ do  _ something. 

“Camila?” Lilith whispered. She had been standing at the window, opening it to let in some fresh air, when she saw Beatrice in the courtyard. 

“Yes?” Camila responded from the bed, only half paying attention as she read. 

“Beatrice is in the courtyard… Freaking out, from the look of it.” Camila was up in a moment after Lilith spoke. 

“Beatrice?” Camila shouted as she and Lilith exited the building a moment later. The worry in Camila’s voice was obvious.

“Ava took a car, she’s missing, I don’t know where she went…” Beatrice was talking uncharacteristically quickly. “Something feels wrong.”

“Let me get Mary, maybe she saw something.” Lilith added, crackling away a moment later. 

As they waited for Lilith to return, Camila held Beatrice gently, trying to calm her slightly. After a minute or two, Lilith returned, her face surprisingly grave. 

“Mary’s gone, too.”

“What?” Beatrice’s thoughts were suddenly even more scattered. 

“What would Mary and Ava have done together, that they couldn’t tell us?” Camila asked, her confusion genuine. 

“We can’t assume they’re together… Maybe…” Beatrice trailed off, knowing there were too many permutations, possibilities, to list. 

“Beatrice.” Lilith set a heavy hand on Beatrice’s shoulder. “Calm down.”

“But, what if -”

“No  _ what-ifs.  _ Come on, Camila and I will stay up with you while we wait for them to get back.”

Camila watched Lilith guide Beatrice back into the building, a look of admiration on her face. It had only been a few nights ago that she had stayed up with Lilith, to calm her down, to be the friend by her side. A laugh escaped her as Camila walked towards the door. Lilith’s goodness was so obvious, Camila wondered how she couldn’t see it in herself. 

“Not just…” Ava struggled to explain to Mary what she had felt. Tears were coating her cheeks, but she didn’t care. “I thought I could get Adriel to tell me more about the halo… More about the OCS… So that we would at least… Know.”

“You’re just like her, sometimes.” Mary laughed as she felt tears of her own sting her eyes.

“Like…” Ava stopped speaking, realising who Mary was referring to. 

“So willing to charge into a situation, bravely, without thinking about it. It’s not a bad trait for a leader, but it's…  _ Dangerous. _ ” A sob shook Mary’s chest. “Why are you so determined to handle everything alone?” Mary’s voice was hoarse and Ava wasn’t sure if she was asking her, or asking Shannon. 

“I’m sorry…” Ava’s words were nearly inaudible. 

“It’s… Alright.” Mary sighed and restarted the car, pulling back onto the road. “You’ve done a lot of stupid  _ shit,  _ Ava. As dumb as this was though, I’m not sure if it even makes it into the top five.”

“That’s fair.” Ava debated whether or not she should phase through the car and run. Ultimately, she decided against it. 

“No harm, no foul. Okay?” Mary looked expectantly at Ava. “Okay?”

“Okay, okay. I’m still sorry.”

“I know. Your intentions were good, pure. And, no one got hurt.” Mary felt relieved.

“If I bring someone with me and go in the day -”

“You’re not dropping this, are you? Why are you so convinced that you  _ need  _ to talk to him?” Mary bit, the edge in her voice not missed by Ava.

“I just… Am.” Ava felt a fresh wave of tears as the halo burned between her shoulder blades. She didn’t know how to explain the waves of compulsion she had about it, so she didn’t try. 

“If I were you, I’d think of a better explanation.” Mary told her, as calmly as she could. “Beatrice is going to demand a better explanation.” Ava’s blood ran cold at the realisation.

“Maybe…” Ava tried to think of a way to avoid the conversation, just as Mary turned up the drive that led to Cat’s Cradle. 

“Out of time, kid. Good luck.” Mary glanced at her quickly. “I’d strongly suggest not keeping this a secret, we all know how well that went last time.”

“I won’t.” Ava grumbled, slightly angry at the memory.  _ I really am fucking stupid, aren’t I? _

“Ava.” Mary parked the car. “You’re not alone, trust your team.”

“I’ll try…” Ava whispered as she slipped out of the car. 

At the sound of the car door, Beatrice flew from her chair, abandoning Camila and Lilith. They followed, albeit more slowly, as Beatrice’s footsteps echoed through the hall. Ava and Mary stood in the courtyard as Beatrice busted through the heavy doors, her face flushed and teary. With graceful speed, she hurtled towards Ava, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Ava, what the  _ fuck?!” _ Beatrice shouted, despite herself. Ava flinched at both her tone and obscenity, as Mary quietly sidestepped the duo.

“Come on, let’s leave them to it, I’ll catch you up inside.” Mary whispered to Camila and Lilith, who were standing in the doorway. Without another word, they disappeared into the building, leaving Ava and Beatrice alone.

“I -” Ava managed to stammer out a word, before Beatrice cut her off.

“After we went to the beach, there was something bothering me about what you said…” Beatrice wiped the tears from her eyes, callously. “I couldn’t quite place it but then… They were  _ goodbyes,  _ Ava. Weren’t they? Your final thoughts to each of your sisters?”

“I… I…” Ava stuttered, her thoughts thrown into disarray by Beatrice’s chastisement. 

“What have I done to make you not trust me?” Beatrice’s voice changed, the loud anger replaced by a soft sadness. Defeat. 

“I do trust you.” Ava looked down, she felt ill. “I wanted to protect you, all of you. I…” In admitting her feelings, Ava only now realised how she felt. “I hate needing  _ help  _ all of the time, not knowing anything. I’m like a stupid, newborn baby. Except, I’m an adult woman, who has powers, and seems to constantly be in life or death situations.”

“Ava…” Beatrice whispered, shocked at Ava’s sudden outburst.

“Can you see why that might be  _ fucking frustrating? _ ” Ava’s voice was on the edge of a scream, the halo’s light penetrating the night. “The most  _ powerful  _ halo bearer that’s ever lived, yet she has no actual skills and can’t do literally  _ anything _ without help!”

“Ava, calm down.” Beatrice took a step forward, trying to keep her voice calm.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you, okay?” Ava’s tears dripped to her shirt. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, nor was I trying to say I didn’t trust you…”

“Tell me what?”

“I was going to see Adriel.”

Beatrice froze at Ava’s words, bewilderment etched into her fine features. “Why?” 

“He has… Answers. To a lot of our questions.” 

“How do you know?” Beatrice looked at Ava as she carefully chose her words.

“I… I don’t have a good explanation, okay? I’ve just… Had a feeling. It gets stronger every day… I’m not sure if it’s me thinking it, or the halo…” Ava’s words, and thoughts, were disjointed. 

“Or Adriel could be trying to trick you. Trying to  _ hurt  _ you.” Beatrice’s voice cracked as she thought of each time she’d held Ava’s damaged body. As each time she’d bore witness to Ava’s damaged  _ mind.  _

“Beatrice.” Ava’s shoulders slumped forward, the posture of defeat. “I’m sorry.” The fire and anger seemed to be extinguished. 

“It’s alright.” Beatrice gently took one of Ava’s hands, only then realising that they were trembling. “Let’s go inside and try to calm down. We can discuss this more calmly in the morning.”


	18. Proverbs 29:18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava has a dream. Mary gets an answer. Then, an interruption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beep boop

Blue light, thick with fog, hung against the stone walls of the building. A few inches of water covered the floor, splashing each time she took a step. Ava was confused, unsure of her surroundings, but an unknown force propelled her forwards. An ornate set of double doors stood before her, looking heavy and important. With a shove, she pushed them open, revealing the inside of a church.

Ava slowly surveyed her surroundings, feeling calm and weirdly apart from herself. Each breath hung in the air, crystalised for a moment, in the chilly air. Ice crawled up the sides of the pews, although it seemed to glow as if it was infused with Divinium. Eventually, Ava’s eyes made their way to the altar, where a woman stood, watching her. 

“Shannon?” Ava whispered, as she slowly crept closer, water lapping at her ankles. 

“Ava. It’s nice to see you.” Shannon’s voice echoed ethereally. Taking several steps closer, Ava stared at Shannon with reverence.  _ This has to be a dream.  _

“You… Too?” Ava mumbled, her confusion obvious. 

“You have a lot of self-doubt. You’re a good halo bearer.” Shannon didn’t break eye contact as she descended from the altar, moving closer to Ava. 

“What is this?” Ava asked, remembering the last time she saw Shannon in a dream. 

“This is all inside your head, you tell me.”

“Is it? Or is it the halo?” 

Shannon shrugged. “I wasn’t the bearer for that long, but you quickly realise that there isn’t always a  _ one or the other  _ answer to your questions. The line between you and the halo within you is blurry at best.”

“Even in my dreams, there are no answers. I should have gone to Adriel.” Ava muttered as she looked down, speaking mostly to herself. 

Suddenly, a pair took her shoulders, grabbing her violently. “What did you say, child?!” Ava looked up in shock, the person holding her was no longer Shannon. Instead, Areala stood before her, her strength obvious.

“Areala?” 

“Why did you mention that  _ devil’s  _ name?” She released Ava from her grip, but the anger was apparent on her face. 

“I… Sorry. I know he’s bad, but he might be the only one with answers.” Ava felt flustered, even within her own dream.  _ My awkwardness is inescapable, even within my own mind.  _

“What are the answers you seek?” Areala’s voice seemed to emulate from the walls of the dream cathedral. 

“Where to begin?” Ava looked upwards, her stare lost in the fog that swirled around them. 

Ava took a deep breath, trying to organise her messy thoughts. “What is Adriel, actually? Father Vincent said it was impossible to kill him, is that true? What is the halo? If Adriel isn’t an angel is the entire OCS built on a lie?” Questions poured out of her mouth as Areala gazed upon Ava with an unmatched intensity. 

“Does it matter?” Areala responded with a question of her own, halting Ava’s train of thought.

“What?” 

“Does it matter?” She reiterated, before continuing. “Regardless of the origin of the halo or the foundations of the Order, it’s effect in the human realm remains the same. They save  _ lives.  _ They protect people from demons, from  _ finding out  _ about the existence of demons, thus maintaining order. Maintaining peace.”

“Yes, but…” Ava trailed off as Areala’s words sank in. “That only answers some of my questions.”

“I’m getting there, don’t be impatient.” Areala said, before turning into Shannon once more. The change happened within an instant, one woman dissolving into another. 

“Hi again, Shannon.” Ava greeted her, unsure of what else to do.

“Ava.” She nodded, as she walked a semi-circle around the frozen pews. “Maybe you don’t need to  _ kill  _ Adriel to get the rest of the answers you’re looking for.”

“What do you mean? Plus, I don’t think I can kill him…” Ava was painfully aware of the complexity of the situation.

“Most likely not, but reducing him to a more…  _ Mortal  _ state could do the job.” Shannon offered her a surprisingly big smile with her words.

“I don’t… I can’t do that…” Ava felt unworthy as she spoke. 

“Why not? You have the power. You were close before.” 

“I was?” Ava looked at her reflection in the shallow water.

“It won’t be easy, but for you, it’s likely possible.” Shannon’s eyes burned with intensity. 

Ava felt the warmth of the halo in her back, as it seemed to respond to Shannon’s words. Within moments, the golden light spread, forcing the creepingly icy fog from the room. The water that had coated the floor steamed away, leaving dry stone behind. Shannon looked on, her kind face calm. Somehow, Ava knew she would be waking up soon.

“Wait!” Ava called as the dream started to slip away. Shannon turned towards her. “Is there anything you want me to tell Mary?”

“Tell her I love her, that I’m waiting for her.” A single tear slid down her face. “I’m so proud of her.”

“I’ll make sure she knows.” Ava replied, before the golden light fully enveloped the room, dissolving the landscape around her. 

“Good morning, Ava.” Beatrice mumbled, still half asleep herself. 

“Beatrice!” Ava sprang out of bed, her heart full of hope. Beatrice looked at her in shock, this was  _ not  _ normal morning behaviour. 

“Ava, are you alright?” 

“I talked to Shannon in my dream!” Ava was pulling on a pair of pants as she spoke, only to realise they were on backwards. “And Areala!” 

Before Beatrice could ask anymore questions, Ava was gone from the room, although she hadn’t turned her pants around. With slower and more refined movements, Beatrice pulled on some clothing and followed Ava into the hallways. There was a  _ lot  _ that one could say about Ava, but no one would ever be able to accuse her of being boring. 

“Beatrice.” Ava held a hand against Beatrice’s chest in the hallway, as they stood outside the doors of their friends. “I have something private I need to tell Mary, will you find Camila and Lilith?”

“Okay, I will.” Beatrice wanted to ask what Ava had to say to Mary, but she was too tired to press it right now. She turned to walk down the hall, towards Camila’s room.

“And Beatrice?” Ava called, causing Beatrice to look back. “Knock first, just in case they were…  _ You know. _ ”

“Ava, oh my  _ God. _ ” Beatrice groaned, but hid a smile as she padded across the large stones that lined the halls. 

“Mary…?” Ava whispered as she peaked into Mary’s room. It was early, and unsurprisingly, Mary was sprawled across her bed, snoring. She still had her shoes on from the night before, Ava realised, feeling guilty for disrupting her life again, only hours later. Still, she crept closer, tapping Mary on the shoulder and saying her name again. 

“Mmmph…” Mary turned, her eyes closed as she mumbled. “Ava, why… Are you… In my room…?”

“I know, it’s early.” Ava looked at the photos of Shannon that Mary had taped to the wall. “I promise I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.” At that, Mary rubbed her eyes grumpily, pushing herself into a sitting position. 

“Spit it out, kid.”

“There’s something I need to tell all of you, but that’s not why I’m here alone…” Ava swallowed, scared to continue, nervous of the effect her words might have. “I spoke to Shannon last night, in my dream, through the halo.”

Mary stared at her for several seconds before speaking. “And?” Her voice was tense, constricted. 

“She told me that she loves you and that she’s waiting for you… And…” Ava, despite having never known Shannon, felt a wave of sadness crash within her chest. “She wants you to know that she is proud of you.”

Instead of speaking, Mary looked down, trying to hide her tears. Ava had no way of knowing that she had provided answers to the questions Mary found herself constantly asking at Shannon’s grave. As Mary’s thoughts raced, Ava wrapped her arms around her. Neither of them were big huggers, but in that moment, nothing felt more fitting. 

After a couple more tears were shed, Mary and Ava met their sisters in the hall. Without a word between them, they headed to the library. Everyone was curious about what Ava was going to say, curious about what happened last night. Maybe more importantly, each of them could sense that the possibility of closure was drawing nearer by the hour. 

Once they were sitting at the library table, which was still missing two chunks, Ava finally began to speak. “Hi, sorry I woke everyone up, but this couldn’t wait. Plus, I really shouldn’t be keeping things from anyone…” She cast a guilty glance at Beatrice. “So here we are.”

As Ava took a breath to speak, the door burst open, and Mother Superion stepped into the room. Several of the younger nuns followed behind her, their faces drawn.

“There you all are. I know you’re on leave, and I apologise for this, but there’s been an incident.” Her voice was clipped and rushed. 

“What happened?” Beatrice stood up as she asked.

“There was an explosion. At ArqTech.” Mother Superion looked surprisingly nervous as she took a deep breath. “Possible demon sightings, although unconfirmed.”


	19. Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confrontation at ArqTech.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slightly late update, this chapter was the hardest to write yet.

Dr. Salvius’ staticky voice filled the car as Mary sped towards the plume of smoke that had risen into the air. Beatrice held the phone out and everyone gathered around it, eager for a status report. 

“I managed to  _ *bzzz*  _ hold off the police, told them it was a  _ *bzzzz*  _ experiment that went wrong, no injuries. They trusted  _ *bzzz*  _ our private team to handle it. There are  _ *bzzzz*  _ things here - not human.” The line went dead before anyone could offer a reply. 

“Well, small piece of good news, no police on scene.” Mary muttered as she accelerated. 

“When we get in, stay together. We have no idea what we’re going up against.” Beatrice told the team, as she slid knives into various holsters on her body.

“I have a hunch…” Lilith whispered. She and Ava quickly exchanged a look. 

“You don’t think…” Ava trailed off, hoping desperately that Lilith’s theory was incorrect.

“It’s definitely possible, if not probable.” Lilith retorted, letting everyone else fill in the blanks of her conversation with Ava. 

ArqTech’s private security had locked down the perimeter, although there were dozens of people gathered around outside. Mostly, they were civilians, although there were several members of the press dotted about. Slowly, the crowd parted, allowing Mary to maneuver the car into the parking lot. One of the guards gave them a nod and opened the gate, allowing them to continue. It seemed as though they were expected. 

_ Ava, you finally made it. _

Ava shuddered as Adriel whispered into her mind. “He’s talking to you, isn’t he?” Beatrice asked, although it was barely a question. She put a hand on Ava’s shoulder as they walked into the building, weapons out. 

“He knows we’re here.” Ava replied, as she tried to shield her mind.

Inside the building, the power had either been cut as a security measure, or whatever happened had damaged the generators. Either way, the rooms were dark, lit sporadically with dim red security lights. They walked slowly, close together, broken glass crunching underfoot. For all the people that worked at ArqTech’s facility, the halls were surprisingly empty. 

“There’s blood.” Camila whispered, gesturing to a splatter on the floor with the barrel of her weapon. 

“Weapons hot.” Mary replied, leading them through the eerie halls. 

As they turned into the main lab, Ava felt her jaw literally drop. During their last visit to ArqTech, Dr. Salvius’ portal had been non-functioning. Now, however, it glowed and spun sickeningly. Screams could be heard from the other side, as the black and red mass swirled within. 

“That’s not a gateway to  _ Heaven… _ ” Lilith stated the obvious. 

“Maybe we can shut it off. Camila?” Beatrice gestured towards the control panel. She and Camila quickly closed the gap towards it, attempting to shut down the link between worlds. Ava stood silently, almost hypnotised by the darkness. 

“It’s not responding…” Camila muttered as she manipulated the control panel with frantic movements. “I don’t even think it’s connected to the power grid.”

“It’s not powered by electricity.” Ava said, suddenly. She didn’t know how she knew, but there wasn’t a shadow of doubt in her mind. 

“How do you know?” Mary stared at Ava. 

“It’s  _ him. _ I know it is. I can feel it.” Ava took a deep breath, realising what she had to do. “I can end this.” Ava sounded surprisingly confident as she spoke.

“Beatrice, follow Ava downstairs.” Mary took command, issuing orders not unlike Shannon might’ve in their situation. “Camila, Lilith. Come with me to secure the building.”

As Mary, Camila, and Lilith quickly filed out of the room, Ava gestured to Beatrice. “Grab my hand.” 

“Ava…” Beatrice began to protest before Ava interrupted her. 

“You know better than I do that the elevators aren’t going to be running if the power isn’t on. It’s probably one of the first things you noticed when we walked in here.” Ava noticed Beatrice nod slightly. “So we either waste time trying to find a set of stairs, while people possibly die, or I phase us down.”

“Are you sure?” Beatrice’s voice was quiet and concerned. 

“Trust your team.” Ava offered her a small smile. “Now, hold your breath.” Beatrice barely had time to take a breath before they were sinking through the floors of the building. After a few bizarre and confusing moments, they found themselves in the basement hallway. 

_ Almost there, my dear Ava. _

“Shut up!” Ava shouted suddenly, startling Beatrice. 

“Ava?” Beatrice reached out, reacting unconsciously to the pain in Ava’s voice. After a moment, Ava righted herself and shook her head. 

“I’m sorry… He’s loud.” Ava rubbed her temple as she spoke.

Without replying, Beatrice led her down the hallway, to the infamous room  _ 703\.  _ “It’s locked.” Ava whispered. Beatrice gave her a look, waiting for Ava’s brain to catch up to her mouth. “Oh!” She exclaimed, after an awkward moment. A second later, they had phased through the wall. Adriel glared at them from his prison, a sick smile crossing his face. Ava matched his stare, as Beatrice forced the door open from the inside.  _ Just in case.  _

Gunshots echoed in the distance, small pops from several hallways over. “It’s a  _ fucking  _ maze in here!” Mary breathed, as she ran towards the sound, followed by her sisters. Without speaking, Lilith grabbed them both by the shoulders, teleporting closer to the sound of the bullets. 

“We don’t have time to waste.” She explained, after Camila and Mary caught their breath. Being back at ArqTech was already difficult for Lilith, having more deaths on her hands would be borderline unbearable. 

As they turned the corner, wincing at the volume of the gunshots, they found themselves face to face with a demon. Three members of the security team were firing at it, although their standard lead bullets didn’t seem to be having much effect. 

“Get out of here!” Camila shouted, as she immediately began to unload a full clip of Divinium bullets into the beast. The men didn’t argue, thankfully, and they disappeared into a nearby room a moment later. 

Mary matched Camila’s fire, blasting shell after shell into the demon’s chest, while trying to dodge it’s gnashing teeth. Lilith drew closer, using her claws to slice it’s stomach open. Putrid and thick black goo poured from the wound, quickly coating the floor. Within moments, the beast flopped heavily onto the tiled floor. Camila unsheathed a Divinium blade, calmly slitting the demon’s throat. It howled as the floor opened, swallowing the beast back to  _ Hell.  _

“How many more do you think there are?” Camila asked, as she put the blade away and reloaded her gun. Before either of her sisters could answer, a horrific scream echoed through the building as a response. 

“At least one more!” Mary replied, as the three of them took off running once more. 

“Ava. Beatrice. How  _ lovely  _ of you to  _ drop in  _ for a visit.” Adriel’s words dripped with venom, although the weakness in his voice was obvious. 

“Close the portal. This isn’t a fight you can win.” Ava’s voice shook when she spoke, which surprised Beatrice. Ava clearly had the upper hand in this fight, if one could even call it that, yet she still seemed scared. Why?

_ You can’t kill me and I’ll never give you the answers you want. _

Ava stepped forward as the halo began to burn within her. She stared at Adriel, loathing every fibre of his being, every ounce of suffering he caused. 

“It doesn’t matter if you’re dead.” Ava whispered, remembering the messages from her dreams. 

“Ava…” Beatrice warned, but Ava was deaf to it. 

“It  _ doesn’t matter  _ if you’re dead.” Ava repeated, walking towards Adriel. She laughed under her breath, not unlike Adriel had done in the past. The parallel was disconcerting. 

“Ava, wait!” Adriel cried out, his face betraying the act he tried to play. 

“Enough waiting.” Ava’s voice seemed to echo as she placed a hand on Adriel’s chest, her golden light filling the dark room. He screamed, obviously in pain.

“Stop… Stop…” Adriel begged, after only a minute. Ava removed her hand, the halo dimming. Beatrice watched from the walkway, ready to step in at a moment’s notice.

“The halo…” Adriel was gasping for breath as he spoke. “It  _ is  _ divine. I stole…” 

“Why? From who?” Ava held her hand about Adriel, not an idle threat. Beatrice looked on, her thoughts confused. Ava seemed detached, yet angry. 

“Is that… A joke? A halo… So powerful… Especially for you.” Even in pain, Adriel looked up at Ava, smiling with his final word. 

“For me…” Ava dropped her hand, obviously thinking about Adriel’s words. He seemed to recover slightly, as Ava stood there, oblivious to everything. 

“Surely you’ve figured it out by now…” Adriel began to taunt her again. His words pulled Ava from her thoughts, she glared at him.

“What does that mean?” Ava shouted, her anger getting the best of her. She could feel, deep in her mind, a revelation tugging at her subconscious. 

“Dr. Salvius! I’m glad to see you’re okay!” Camila exclaimed, having found the esteemed doctor and several of her colleagues locked in one of the meeting rooms.   
“It’s great to see you.” She seemed grateful, albeit genuinely shaken.   
“What happened here?” Lilith asked, lacking any of the tact or grace that Camila had. 

“Well…” Dr. Salvius looked down, unsure of how to explain. “We were running a test, on Adriel, on his energies. After several days, we managed to get the portal open, but it’s wrong… Different than it was with Michael.”

“You opened the gates of  _ Hell,  _ instead.” Mary told her, words void of sympathy. 

“I’m sorry, what?” One of the scientists whispered from behind them. 

“We can explain more thoroughly later.” Camila spoke quickly. “The way we came is safe. Down this hallway, to the left, and out the building. Don’t come back in until you hear from one of us, okay?” 

“Alright, alright.” Jillian gestured to the group, staying behind for a moment. “Thank you.” She whispered, before following everyone out of the building. 

“Just get out safe.” Mary cautioned.

“There’s more demons up ahead.” Lilith said, after the civilians were out of earshot. 

“How do you know?” Camila asked, with a gentle hand on Lilith’s arm. 

“I can… Sense it.” No one had a response to that, so they worked their way through the facility in silence.

Glass shattered, loud and dramatic, as a demon burst through a giant glass panel. Mary blasted it on sight, knocking it to the ground and buying them a few seconds of time. Quickly, Camila darted behind it, Divinium tipped arrows penetrating the demon’s thick, mottled skin. This demon was smaller than the last one, although twice as fast, knocking Lilith from her feet before she could get a solid attack in. She tumbled through the broken glass haphazardly, earning a few cuts and bruises. 

“You good?!” Mary shouted, while providing covering fire. 

“Fantastic.” Lilith stood quickly, angrily, barely feeling the impact. She teleported up close to the demon, pushing a clawed hand into its chest, before the beast had time to react. As it fell to the ground, Lilith retracted her claws, wiping the demon’s blood on her shirt. 

“Very ladylike.” Mary laughed, as she put two Divinium shells into the demon’s brain, sealing it’s ticket back to  _ Hell. _

“You’re her  _ blood _ .” Adriel spit, reluctant to give up his secrets. 

“What…?” Ava was confused, although Beatrice knew what he meant right away. 

“That’s not possible!” Beatrice shouted, angry that Adriel was trying to toy with Ava’s mind. Again. “Areala didn’t have any children.”

“Is that what they’re teaching you over there?” Adriel threw his head back, a deep laugh filling his lungs. Ava didn’t speak, she just looked back and forth between Adriel and Beatrice, eyes wide. 

“It’s not…” Beatrice was teeming with fury. “It’s the truth.”

“I was  _ there. _ ” Adriel stood up, his chains clanging against one another. “Areala had a single child… Whom my  _ lovely  _ Ava here happens to share a bloodline with.” He turned to look at Ava’s stunned face. “Didn’t you ever wonder why the halo brought you back to life? Why you’re more powerful than the rest of them ever were?”

Beatrice glared at Adriel, then turned her gaze to Ava, who still hadn’t spoken or moved. “Areala was sworn to the Church, she took her vows.” Beatrice realised how hypocritical her words were, but she didn’t care. This had to be a trick. 

“You’re correct, of course. But…” Adriel’s smile seemed to intensify in creepiness. “That didn’t stop me.” His implication hung heavy in the air, for a moment, before Ava snapped back to life. 

The halo glowed so strongly as Ava moved to grab Adriel that the light seemed to be flowing around her, emanating from her skin, from her being. Grasping Adriel’s head in both hands, Ava put a glowing thumb through each of his eyes, their screams mingling together in the air. As Ava’s feet began to leave the ground, so did Adriel’s, who began to glow as well. 

In a transfixed state of awe, Beatrice watched them both rise, as Ava’s light seemed to fill Adriel. Wind began to whip through the room, swirling powerfully around the glowing halo. The dim emergency lights flickered. The chains that kept Adriel imprisoned swung together as they glowed blue. He seemed to be growing weaker as Ava held him suspended, his once all-powerful body failing to protect him.

Ava could feel the exhaustion sinking in, but she forced herself onwards, her dreams from the night before still fresh. Adriel’s darkness was being absorbed into her, she could feel it mingling with her own being. Ava hoped she would be strong enough to contain it. Adriel kept trying to push into her mind, trying to create an opening for himself, but she managed to repel his attacks. 

Time seemed to stretch around them as they hung in the air. In reality, Ava’s defeat of Adriel took  _ maybe  _ a minute. In her perception, however, it seemed to last hours. With a final, pained scream, she dropped a now-blind Adriel to the ground. In her tired state, Ava dropped from the air. Thankfully, a strong pair of arms caught her before she hit the ground. 

“I did it…” Ava whispered as she looked into Beatrice’s kind eyes with a smile. Beatrice wiped Ava’s tears from her cheeks.

“You did it.” Beatrice replied, feeling as though she had just witnessed a miracle.  _ Maybe she had. _


	20. Romans 12:18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does anything actually matter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW at bottom

“Ava did  _ what _ ?” Mary asked, incredulous. She was sitting on one of the beds in the infirmary, next to Lilith who was getting stitched up as they spoke. 

“She…” Beatrice looked at Ava, who was propped up in the next bed over. She was awake, but only just. “I’m not even sure I know how to explain it.”

“Adriel is mortal now.” Ava rasped.

“But unkillable?” Camila wondered, trying to find logic in a situation which wasn’t necessarily logical. 

“Yes.” Ava replied, fighting to keep her eyes open.

“That makes sense.” Lilith was sarcastic, but not mean as she spoke. 

“He doesn’t have any of his abilities… His powers… Or darkness.” Ava stated slowly. 

“So we won? Somehow no one died at ArqTech, the gate is closed, the demons are dead, and Adriel will never be a threat again?” Mary failed to conceal the smile on her face. 

“It might not be that simple…” Beatrice began, looking at Mary, then back at Ava. In Beatrice’s mind she still saw Ava as she was in the basement, as an absolute bastion of power. Camila had been right all along. 

“It never is…” Mary sighed, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“Ava?” Camila asked gently. 

“Hmm?” Ava replied.

“How did you do it?” Her question was so simple. Ava had demonstrated powerful abilities before, but this was truly on another level. 

“Shannon… Areala told me that I could do it.” Ava said this as though it were common sense, as though her sisters would perfectly understand what she meant. Obviously, such was not the case, and everyone stared at her. Ava took a deep breath and laid her head back for a moment, trying to gather the strength for a proper explanation.

“Okay. I woke everyone up early because I had a dream where Shannon and Areala were both speaking to me. Except, it wasn’t a dream… It was like the halo allowed us to make contact. It’s happened before…” Ava felt everyone’s eyes and attention on her. “They said I could reduce Adriel to a mortal state, powerless, even if he couldn’t die.”

“There’s more.” Beatrice whispered, remembering Adriel’s words. They were shocking and ran counter to most of what was taught at the OCS but… Beatrice couldn’t deny that his revelations made sense, that there  _ might  _ be a hint of truth somewhere. 

“We don’t know for sure...” Ava looked up at Beatrice, her eyes brimmed with tears. Ava had been desperately trying to push Adriel’s words from her mind. 

“It makes  _ sense _ , though.” Beatrice replied, leaving her sisters in confusion at the weird, half-conversation between her and Ava. 

“Maybe, but…” Ava sighed, feeling defeated. “Adriel said that… That I share a bloodline with Areala.”

“Areala didn’t have children.” Lilith stated, a split second before Camila began to say the same. 

“That’s why I thought too, but…” Now it was Beatrice’s turn to leave a sentence unfinished. 

“Adriel said the child was his.” Ava finished her sentence, her voice dark.

“But that…” Mary was trying to put the pieces together, although her biblical studies at the OCS were minimal at best. 

“It wasn’t consensual, most likely.” Beatrice muttered, unable to conceal the anger that burned within her.

No one spoke for several minutes after that, each sister lost in thought and considering Adriel’s words. Finally, Camila spoke up.

“Ava…” Her voice was gentle and kind. “Your powers are far beyond that of any halo bearer in history, rivalling those of Areala herself.”

“And the halo doesn’t normally  _ resurrect  _ people either.” Lilith added. “The OCS has used dead bodies to hide the halo from demons for centuries.”

“Okay, I just want to go on record and say I believed in Ava first.” Mary jokes, quietly, trying to lighten the tension in the room, mostly for Ava’s sake. 

“I’ll get you a sticker that says:  _ I told you so. _ ” Lilith retorts, giving Mary a light slap on the leg.

“There’s something else.” Ava interrupted their jokes, her voice gravelly. 

“Last night, I wanted to go talk to Adriel, to get answers about the hundreds of questions I have, that we  _ all  _ have. Today, I got the answer to some of those questions. We know the halo is divine, although Adriel didn’t tell me who it was stolen from. We know about Areala, even if…” Ava stopped herself as everyone listened intently, trying to get back on track. “In my dream, Areala told me that it  _ doesn’t matter. _ ” Beatrice froze, remembering Ava’s usage of the phrase with Adriel.

After several deep, shuddering breaths, Ava continued speaking. “Maybe she’s right. Regardless of the halo’s exact origin, regardless of the OCS origins and Adriel, it doesn’t matter. We save people everyday. In just the last few months, how many times have we saved the  _ entire world? _ Demons are going to keep coming and we’re going to keep fighting them, because it’s the right thing to do.”

Ava’s words seemed to hang in the air and minutes passed before anyone spoke again. It was impossible to deny that Ava was right. Being aware that one doesn’t know something is a singular issue, but accepting it is another entirely. Beatrice could feel her brain trying to analytically sort out every piece of information, to place it in a neat package. This was antithetical to Ava’s words, she knew this, but old habits die hard. 

“Beatrice, don’t think so hard. You might hurt yourself.” Camila whispered, finally breaking the silence with a grin on her face. Beatrice felt herself blush, she could only imagine the look she wore on her face. 

“I… Sorry. I’m trying to logically work my way through all of this and…”

“You think too much.” Ava placed a hand on Beatrice’s leg as she interrupted. 

“So, what now?” Lilith asked, feeling somehow overwhelmed and peaceful simultaneously. 

“I can’t speak for the rest of you, but…” Ava looked up at the stained glass windows that adorned the infirmary. “I want to keep doing what we are doing. Helping people, saving lives, fighting demons. The whole nine yards.”

“You’re really okay with not knowing?” Beatrice’s voice was that of disbelief. 

“I am.” Ava’s answer was simple, resolute. 

“What’s to say we won’t discover more answers along the way?” Camila wondered, her eyes firmly set on Beatrice. There was an unmistakable feeling of hope among them, a new understanding of their mission. Beatrice managed a smile, her appreciation of Camila’s words etched into her eyes. 

“I think this calls for a celebration.” Mary stated.

“Oh no…” Beatrice replied, grateful to be pulled from her thoughts. But, she still remembered the sick embarrassment of their last ‘celebration.’

“It’ll be fun!” Camila laughed, as she set a hand on Lilith’s shoulder. Beatrice exchanged a quick look with Ava.

“Alright.  _ We’re  _ in.” Beatrice smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: r*pe mention


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, at a journey's end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you made it this far, thanks for reading. This was my first ever fanfic/creative writing project ever, so... Yeah! For everyone who commented, thank you, it keeps me motivated to write more and update daily.
> 
> I have several ideas bouncing around about new stories, new adventures for our sisters here. I guess we'll see what comes next. 
> 
> <3

Surreal. That’s how they felt. After everyone, Ava especially, rested during the afternoon, Camila took it upon herself to play stylist. Even Mary went along with it, surprisingly, letting Camila dress her in clothes that weren’t black or grey. As they stood on the club’s ocean-facing deck, the mood was unmistakably light, even if it didn’t feel real at all. 

“Mary, you look really nice in a little bit of colour.” Ava whispered as she hid her face behind her drink. 

“Don’t get used to it. This is for celebratory purposes only.” Mary ran a hand over the hawaiian shirt, identical to the one that Camila was wearing. “Tomorrow we’ll be back to trench coats and leather.”

“Maybe that’s for the best…” Ava grinned as though she was winding up for a joke. “Camila definitely wore it best.”

Ava squealed as Mary took a swat at her, while everyone else laughed. Beatrice watched the chaos unfold, between her friends, her sisters. The last time they had gone out together, she had felt like such an outsider, an interloper within a group that didn’t need her. So much, almost immeasurably, had changed since then. Beatrice certainly never expected fighting demons and avoiding death would bring her this type of confidence, but of course there was another factor.  _ Ava. _

For years, Beatrice was convinced that she could force herself into this life. With her head down and feelings locked away, she nearly succeeded. Originally, she had never wanted to join the Church, disquieted at the prospect of becoming a nun. Over time, she found herself comfortable. Enjoyment may be too strong a word, but Beatrice couldn’t deny that many of her days spent at the OCS had been bearable. She even had a few friends. If she had to bury a part of herself to maintain that, then so be it.

“Beatrice?” A voice snapped Beatrice from her thoughts. 

“What?” Even her response sounded faraway. 

“Do you want to dance with me?” Ava was looked up with her, eyes wide with loving concern. 

“Of course.” Beatrice responded with an undoubtable sureness in her voice. Even with only a single drink in her system, she wasn’t the same woman she had been last time Ava had asked.

Ava slipped her fingers through Beatrice’s leading her into the breezy club. A slow song played from the DJ’s booth, and for once, it wasn’t Mary’s doing. Perhaps this time, it really was fate. 

“What were you thinking about?” Ava asked, after wrapping her arms around Beatrice’s waist. 

“About how I’ve changed.” Beatrice’s answer alone highlighted the differences from the woman she used to be. Never before had she been so forthcoming with personal information, confident in her thoughts. 

“Oh…” Ava hid her face, unsure if Beatrice was referencing the good or the bad within herself.

“Ava, no.” Beatrice put a hand under Ava’s chin, forcing their eyes to meet. Only then could Ava see the smile on Beatrice’s face. “It’s a good thing.”

“Oh!” Ava echoed, although this time she took on an entirely different tone. 

“It’s been a long few months. I’m not sure what it was, or if it was any singular thing, but…” Beatrice took a deep breath and tried to slow her racing heart. “I love you, truly, in a way I never thought I was capable of - worthy of. In a way that I told myself I could  _ never  _ experience, because it would be wrong somehow.”

“Beatrice.” Ava breathed, feeling her breath hitch at Beatrice’s sudden outpour of emotions. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“That’s okay. You don’t need to say anything.” Beatrice placed a quick kiss on Ava’s forehead before continuing. “You’ve always been so  _ free _ , Ava. Of course, you’ve changed immensely during your time in the Order, for better and… Worse. But, you’ve always been  _ free,  _ in a way that I had no choice but to envy.”

“The thought of you, envying me, is truly bizarre.” Ava managed to squeeze out a quick laugh. “Even a few weeks ago, I don’t know if you would be telling me all of this.” Ava admitted, quietly and slightly scared of Beatrice’s response. 

“I know.” Beatrice wasn’t angry at Ava’s words, she was right. “It’s not that I didn’t feel it, trust me, I did. I just… Couldn’t admit it out loud, yet.”

“I’m happy you did.” Ava kissed Beatrice’s exposed collarbone that peaked out from the sleeves of her tank top.

“Me too.” Beatrice felt her body grow warmer, in a way that was unrelated to the stifling temperature on the dance floor. “And Ava?”

“Yes?”

“Now that things have calmed down, I’m excited to spend more time…” Beatrice shuffled through her mind, searching for an explanation of how she felt. “I’m excited to spend more time on  _ us. _ ”

On the other side of the dancefloor, Camila and Lilith shared their own dance, their own conversation. “If you had told me that you and I would end up…  _ Together… _ I wouldn’t have believed it.” Lilith admitted, her cheeks flushing at the admission. 

“I used to be scared of you…” Camila flashed her a smile. “Now I know you’re just a big softie.”

“Hey. Bold talk from a girl in a hawaiian shirt.” 

Camila feigned embarrassment, a toothy grin plastered on her face. “I thought you liked my shirt.”

“I  _ love  _ everything you wear, even if I wouldn’t necessarily choose it for myself.” Lilith’s sudden turn towards seriousness startled Camila. 

“Love?” Camila whispered, Lilith’s words ringing in her ears. 

“You know I love you. I’ve said it before.” Lilith sounded surprisingly confident. “You’ve helped me through so much Camila. Without you I’d be…” She trailed off, unwilling to verbalise the very real possibilities had Camila not been there to intervene in her darkest moments. 

“I love you, too.” Camila replied, suddenly feeling as though the air was gone from her lungs. She knew, more than anyone else, that Lilith had spent a lot of time…  _ Too much  _ time in a dark place. Literally and figuratively. Yet, Camila failed to realise that she had played a large part in helping Lilith escape from it.

“Camila, are you okay?” Lilith breathed, pulling Camila in close as they swayed along to the languid song that pulsed through the club. 

“I didn’t realise…” She answered, grateful for the lack of space between them. 

“Didn’t realise… What?”

“That I helped you that much. I thought…” Camila managed to pull in a breath. “I thought that I just happened to be there while you fought your way out. On your own… You’re so strong, I just assumed that…”

“I might be strong, but I’m not  _ that  _ strong.” Lilith was surprised that Camila hadn’t realised this sooner. 

“You’re pretty strong.” Camila laughed, the sound absorbed by Lilith’s chest. Jokingly, Camila wrapped a hand around one of Lilith’s slim, but strong, arms. “See, I’m not the only one with guns around here.” Lilith chuckled, then her face became more serious. 

“Thank you. Seriously.” Lilith didn’t need to explain further, Camila knew what she meant. 

Now alone on the balcony, Mary watched the two couples slowly circle the dance floor. She felt enthusiastically melancholy, almost like a mother who was watching her children leave for college. With a sad smile, she turned to face the ocean. 

“I miss you.” She whispered, under her breath. “As much as I wish I could be dancing in there, with someone I care about… There is only you. It was always you.”

A single tear fell, splashing against the railing. “Ava told me that you were proud, that you loved me. I can’t even tell you…” Mary looked up, trying to imagine that Shannon was looking down on her. “I miss you and I love you. More than I feel I can bear sometimes.” With a sigh, Mary wiped her tears away. Despite her heavy heart, she felt oddly calm. At peace. 

Several dances and several drinks later, Beatrice and Ava found themselves sitting in the sand, on the strip of beach that bordered the club. Ava couldn’t shake the similarity of this evening to that of her first night with the halo. So much had changed since then, even within herself, it was almost incomparable. The feeling was truly indescribable.

“Does it still bother you?” Ava asked Beatrice, unable to contain her curiosity, especially as the alcohol removed her filter. Not that there was much of one to begin with.

“Does  _ what  _ bother me?” Beatrice replied, her voice sounding less refined than normal.

“That…” Ava sighed, her mind was running more slowly than usual. “That after everything, there is still so much we don’t know. So many unanswered questions.”

“I…” Beatrice was caught off guard, this wasn’t what she expected Ava to ask. “At first, yes. But now… I don’t know.”

Without warning, Beatrice turned towards Ava, gently placing a kiss on her cheek. Upon seeing Ava’s face flash from surprise to happiness, she kissed her again, moving closer to Ava’s mouth each time. Eventually, their lips met, calm and deliberate actions shared between them. It felt sacred, holy even. 

“Like I said before…” Beatrice ran a hand through Ava’s tousled hair. “I have other things I want to focus on right now.”

“We have a lot to figure out, don’t we?” Ava smiled lazily as she flopped onto her back in the sand. 

“We likely always will.” Beatrice laid back to join Ava, albeit in a much more dignified fashion. Even being drunk didn’t entirely rob her of grace. “But there’s no one I’d rather face it with than you.”

“Likewise.” Ava extended a hand to meet Beatrice’s.

“I hope we’re not interrupting anything scandalous here.” Mary laughed as she, Camila, and Lilith trudged through the sand. 

“Of course not!” Ava sat up, holding a hand to her chest. “Your insinuation is  _ frankly insulting _ my dear Mary.” Ava’s fake old timey voice had everyone laughing in seconds, even if it was horrible, they were tipsy at best. 

“What do we do now?” Camila wondered absentmindedly, as she sat down in the sand. The beach was deserted, but the sounds of parties from various clubs were faint in the air. A full moon hung in the sky, providing a surprising amount of light and reflecting on the calm ocean.

“Whatever we want. I think we’re still on leave. At least, we definitely should be.” Mary answered.

A gentle breeze pushed its way off the ocean, cooling the dance-induced sweat from everyone’s face. It was almost difficult to be calm, at first. They were so used to a constant threat hanging overhead that several minutes passed in silence, before they began to relax. Beyond that, it finally seemed as though there would be time to heal. Time that, realistically, they all desperately needed. 

Ava broke the silence, after a long silence. “Whatever we do, or wherever we go, it’ll be together. Right? I don’t think I can bear to be apart from any of you… After everything…” Her voice was a faint whisper, a mix of exhaustion and a sudden wave of shy vulnerability. 

“In this life or the next.” Lilith answered, her voice as quiet as Ava’s was.

“ _ In this life or the next. _ ” 


End file.
